Pregnant and can't tell FI — The Bump
Military Families

Pregnant and can't tell FI

My FI is currently at the beginning of a six month tour of duty. 

I've just found out I'm 8 weeks pregnant.

He's on an op for a month and we have no contact for that time. 

So I can't tell him I'm pregnant and don't want to tell anyone before I tell him.

 Feel like I'm going to burst. and I just want to tell him.

(Also how do you deal with him missing most of the pregnancy and though he should be back in plenty of time - the nature of what he does and if something happens they could (likely) extend his tour) 

Re: Pregnant and can't tell FI

  • Oh man......that is rough. I'd be about to burst too!

    I would just take a belly picture every single week for him so he can see your growth and if at all possible you could try to facetime during appointments or something. Obviously that would take some serious planning out but it's possible.

    If something does happen to where he is delayed the bottom line is there is nothing you will be able to do. You are a strong woman and you can do this by yourself as many of us military ladies have.

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  • I agree with you that you shouldn't tell anyone else before you tell him.  

    I found out I was pregnant two weeks after my husband left for a deployment.  He was forward at a small FOB that go round with only one phone.  They were only allowed to call home once a week for 5 min.  It was hard to hold on to that info.  I can only imagine how hard it is for you to hold that in for a month.  

    As far as how I handled everything while he was gone, I took a pic of my belly every Tuesday and emailed it to him.  He always called on Wednesdays, so he could see the pic before he called home.  He loved watching how my belly grew.  I also signed him up to receive emails from baby center every week to see what the gestational changes were for the week.  He loved those as well.  I wrote down all the info for how much I weighed, heart rate of the baby, my blood pressure and any other info from the appointment with my midwife every time I went.   

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  • I had to wait 24 hours to tell my husband, and I thought that was tough. So you definitely have a bigger job. My husband was deployed for the last 20 weeks of my pregnancy, and made it home just in time for the birth. Really, that was ideal for me since everything was healthy and I preferred that he was able to spend the time with the baby.
  • I would be bursting too!

    Certainly you can talk about it on here - hopefully that would relieve some of your excitement and nervousness about it. 

    Also, I'd plan something special like an email or letter of all the little things. Maybe you could make him a little slideshow of all the picture and stuff. The possibilities could be endless. 

    As far as him staying there and being extended - don't think about that now. If it happens, then deal with it then - but for now, plan for the excitement of him being home for the last few months of your pregnancy :)

  • My husband is missing part of my pregnancy but we have made adjustments.But he was away on training when I found out I was pregnant in different time zone. So, I had to wait 4 hours before he got out of class so I could tell him by phone. I wanted to wait until I saw him a few day later but I couldn't hold it in. We really didn't tell anyone else until after first ultrasound because I have had miscarriage before.

    It is tough but take pics and email them. At my first ultrasound my midwife let me record it on my cell phone so I could send to him right away. He made it to our NT scan so he got to see that. We also went shopping together and made list of what we both liked even though it was to early to actually buy stuff. Amazon has baby registry and is he has internet access you could both add things you like. We also show it to his mom to get her opinion too

     

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