Spanking question

ChristyML · January 2013

If you agree with spanking your children, do you think it's okay for others to spank your child (such as your child's grandparents, aunts, or uncles)?

I'm not sure how I feel about letting others spank my child just yet.

nanabanana06 · January 2013

I am not fond of spanking, DH is a fan of spanking. He and I have met in the middle on the subject though. Now, other people spanking my child is a huge no no.

SpaceGirlSpiff · January 2013

I think spanking can have its place in certain situations (and I'm talking like an agressive pat, not like a full on hit)... I dont see it as something to be used as a punishment per say, but more so a tactic to get the attention of a child that's doing something dangerous and will not listen. I'm not really at the point where it's apart of my parenting practice because my DS is still rather young, so I guess I will just have to see what works for us in the future. Generally, I dont like the idea of having to resort to it, so I hope I dont need to...but I'm not going to 100% write it off either.

As for others doing it....not a fan. Don't touch my kid.

IncognitoSuperhero · January 2013

You just posted this on the other board but I would be happy to answer. I do no believe in sparking. If I did I would absolutely not allow others to punish my child. Especially not physically.

Nita2603 · January 2013

If anyone spanked my child, regardless of what I think of spanking or not, he or she should pray i cannot get my hands on them. I think I would beat the living crap out of them.

shopgirl78 · January 2013

No one spanks our children other than DH & I and that is done on a rare basis. Luckily, we don't live anywhere near of family for it to come up as an issue.

catycate · January 2013

I would only use spanking after exhausting all other behavior plans and even then, I would attempt it to just be enforced through DH and I. I we had to leave DS with a sitter (which would only be my in-laws or my family), I would carefully outline what gets a spanking, how to do the spanking and how to talk to my kid about what happened.

kmm2150 · January 2013

I am totally opposed to spanking and have actually been thinking about whether and when we'll need to discuss this with one set of grandparents that spanked their kids DH's parents. I will absolutely not allow anyone else to spank my kid.

I know that wasn't really your question, OP, but I guess even if I did use spanking on rare occasions I wouldn't allow others to do it. If spanking is your goto discipline technique and you do it all the time, well, I have no idea.

LoveBeingAWife33008 · January 2013

I will spank her but if you aren't me or my DH, don't touch my kid. Not even my mom has permission.

PrincessFiona9 · January 2013

My dad has spanked her before when babysitting, and it doesn't really bother me.We lived with my parents for so long and we are at their house so often now, that they parent DD almost as much as I do. We're also on the same page about using our words first, counting, time out, redirecting etc. HOWEVER if any other person spanked her I would not be okay with it. I know her father has spanked her while she is at his place for visitation and I don't like it, but there's not much I can do.

NotSharknado · January 2013

Absolutely not. Touch my kid and I'll cutabiitch.

ABColeslaw · January 2013

I believe a spank on the butt or two is warranted in situations surrounding danger. I would not want anyone else to spank him, even in extreme situations of danger though. You want to communicate fear not anger and I can't be guarranteed they would do it.

bigbootyjudi · January 2013

Nita2603:
If anyone spanked my child, regardless of what I think of spanking or not, he or she should pray i cannot get my hands on them. I think I would beat the living crap out of them.

My thoughts, exactly.

ridesbuttons · January 2013

I thought I was very mild on spanking until I had kids. Now I am very anti-spanking. It is hard to imagine spanking as part of a discipline plan.

PnkDingo · January 2013

I think it really comes down to what you consider spanking...

My nephew gets spanked. But that, to our family, has always been two fingers firmly across the sole of the foot (he was a kicker when being changed/dressing, to the point that he dislocated his father's jaw a few months back) or the back of the hand when, even after physical redirection, he returned to dangerous activities. For the most part now, if we physically redirect he walks away from things, taps his own hand and tells himself "No, no, booboos. Not a toy." It's always been used more for the shock factor/to get his attention, and it's used rarely, but my sister and BIL were the ones that perpetuated it being alright for extended family to do it.

My sister and BIL are the only ones that doles out any type of spanking beyond that, at their parental judgment. I have the same general feelings about it and it won't bother me if extended family corrects like that, but like I said, my definition of "spank" is different than most.

FrickandFrack · January 2013

I would flip the fuckk out if anyone ever disciplined my child physically.

missyishere · January 2013

ABColeslaw:
I believe a spank on the butt or two is warranted in situations surrounding danger.nbsp; I would not want anyone else to spank him, even in extreme situations of danger though.nbsp; You want to communicate fear not anger and I can't be guarranteed they would do it.nbsp;

I'm no advocate of spanking, but I can see the point in a dangerous situation. My DH only spanked SD twice in her life, and they seemed very necessary at the time. If anyone were to touch my child, they will see one angry mama.

shortstuff15 · January 2013

This actually came up over our youngest's birthday. My in-laws are raising our niece and came up for the weekend a couple weeks ago. There were a couple of times that my mother-in-law mentioned that she has a spanking stick and has used it/threatened to use it while babysitting her other grandkids that live close to them. She also told us a couple times over the weekend to spank our niece for a couple things. We finally just told them that we don't believe that it was our right to discipline when they were right there beside us and that we especially would not be using spanking as a form of discipline for someone else's kids. I think it kind of shocked them because they didn't say much after that, but I didn't care. I also have never been so glad that I live 8 hours away and don't have to ask them to babysit at all.

My parents don't believe it is their right to spank their grandkids so we don't have any issues with them and since they live only 10 minutes away and do babysit if we ask them to it makes it a lot easier to trust them now then it is to trust my in-laws.

klondikebar · January 2013

I don't hit my children and if someone else laid a hand on them, we'd have big problems.

citychicks · January 2013

If someone spanked my kid I would have them arrested. Indifferent

Snapdragon750 · January 2013

I haven't spanked DD and probably never will because I just can't even imagine doing it, but I'm not morally against it. My gut reaction is to say I would never let someone else spank my kids in any situation, but I think it just depends on your kid. If you have a super unruly kid and spanking is the only thing that works on her, it's kind of setting up everyone for misery and failure if you leave her with the grandparents for a weekend and don't let them spank. At least with your parents you can be pretty sure that they love her and will be responsible about it. Anyone else is another story entirely.

Unknown · January 2013

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wino2006 · January 2013

So according to some people it's cool and ok if the parent does the hitting, but not cool if someone else does? Does birthing a child give you some special right to beat on said kid?

[Deleted User] · January 2013

Don't spank your 3 month old or let anyone else spank them.

mom2pottamus · January 2013

No one else will ever be permitted to spank my child--I can't even comprehend being on the fence about this issue.

We don't spank, we do time outs. Grandparents/aunts/other caregivers are absolutely allowed to give time outs, but seriously I think if you give someone else authority to spank your kid you are a shittastic person.

MarSamWhitney · January 2013

ridesbuttons:
I thought I was very mild on spanking until I had kids. Now I am very anti-spanking. It is hard to imagine spanking as part of a discipline plan.

This is me too. Spanking seems pointless.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

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