Ugh...just shoot me

msechick · January 2013

Yep. Cousin's baby shower today. My mother signed me up to drive my grandmother so no getting out of this one. I swear if someone asks me, "so when's it going to be your turn" or something like that, I may get violent. Happy for my cousin so that's not the issue. I just don't want to address my situation. Someone direct me to the booze please.

lincoln79 · January 2013

do you own a hip flask? gl!

BootsOrHearts · January 2013

Yeah baby showers are the worst. Here's some ideas to get through it:

1. Wear something form-fitting to show off your non-baby carrying shape. This should make expectant mother feel even more like a beached whale.

2. Play games on your phone the whole time. Ideally, ones with a lot of sound effects.

3. Make comments about pregnancy belly that are barely compliments 'My God, you're HUGE!' 'Are you sure there's only one in there!?' 'When are you due? Today?'

4. Act disappointed if she shares the baby's sex 'Oh well, maybe the next one will be a girl' or 'That's too bad, boys are so much fun'.

5. Drink, get a little tipsy if possible. If there's no drinks served there, bring a flask.

6. If anyone asks something about 'when will it be your turn' go on on about how much FUN you're having without kids - you can stay up all night drinking, leave town on a moment's notice, sleep in until 10AM on weekends, etc. Ideally do this in earshot of expectant mother.

7. If you start to feel guilty about any of the above, see step 5. Rinse, repeat.

also *hugs*!

BootsOrHearts · January 2013

lincoln79:
do you own a hip flask? gl!

Great minds think alike.

Temp878586125009588 · January 2013

The other night we were out with a few people, I was playing on my phone since there was really no interaction with me and everyone else. Someone looked at me and said, "you look bored, you should have kids." So I just simply respond, "I'm trying." And it actually took them by surprise and they didn't know what to say. "then respond back with, "uh, don't have kids they're trouble" and I rolled my eyes at them.

Any way, enough of my story, good luck today. I really hope it's not too bad and people just stay focused on your cousin. (((hugs)))

vegasbound0606 · January 2013

I refuse to go to showers these days. The last one I went to I went straight for the booze and stayed busy in the kitchen as much as possible. Worst part was the "hey everyone put your hand on her belly and let's take a picture!" Uh uh. I don't do showers anymore for that reason. GL and sorry you have to be put through this situation

new+tothis · January 2013

BootsOrHearts:
Yeah baby showers are the worst. Here's some ideas to get through it:
1. Wear something form-fitting to show off your non-baby carrying shape. This should make expectant mother feel even more like a beached whale.
2. Play games on your phone the whole time. Ideally, ones with a lot of sound effects.
3. Make comments about pregnancy belly that are barely compliments 'My God, you're HUGE!' 'Are you sure there's only one in there!?' 'When are you due? Today?'
4. Act disappointed if she shares the baby's sex 'Oh well, maybe the next one will be a girl' or 'That's too bad, boys are so much fun'.
5. Drink, get a little tipsy if possible. If there's no drinks served there, bring a flask.
6. If anyone asks something about 'when will it be your turn' go on on about how much FUN you're having without kids - you can stay up all night drinking, leave town on a moment's notice, sleep in until 10AM on weekends, etc. Ideally do this in earshot of expectant mother.
7. If you start to feel guilty about any of the above, see step 5. Rinse, repeat.
also *hugs*!

This.

I may have done most of these at a baby shower about a year ago. I'm naturally fairly competitive but apparently when I drink I get really inappropriately competitive with baby shower games. I highly recommend it. Nobody knows WHAT to say when you start off a baby shower game with "You're going DOWN B!tch!"

msechick · January 2013

Boots you are hilarious! If nothing else, I'll be running these thoughts through my head during the shower. Thanks for cheering me up!

msechick · January 2013

You are all so great. This is a set of four cousins that are all sisters and all younger than me. They already have 10 kids between them and this is number 11 so the flask idea sounds like a winner to me. Now if I could just figure out what type of booze fits this situation. Maybe tequila.

melkel559 · January 2013

Ugh the dreaded baby shower. The last one I went to I was shooting up Lupron in the bathroom as the guests ooohed and ahhhed over breast pumps and baby blankets. I agree with the masses, drink up. I got plastered. Haha, GL!

Mrs.Slick · January 2013

BootsOrHearts:
Yeah baby showers are the worst. Here's some ideas to get through it: 1. Wear something formfitting to show off your nonbaby carryingnbsp;shape. This should make expectant mother feelnbsp;even more like a beached whale. nbsp;2. Play games on your phone the whole time. Ideally, ones with a lot of sound effects.3. Make comments about pregnancy belly that are barely compliments 'My God, you're HUGE!' 'Are you sure there's only one in there!?' 'When are you due? Today?'4. Act disappointed if she shares the baby's sex 'Oh well, maybe the next one will be a girl' or 'That's too bad, boys are so much fun'. 5. Drink, get a little tipsy if possible. If there's no drinks served there, bring a flask. 6. If anyone asks something about 'when will it be your turn' go on on about how much FUN you're having without kids you can stay up all night drinking, leave town on a moment's notice, sleep in until 10AM on weekends, etc. Ideally do this in earshot of expectant mother.7. If you start to feel guilty about any of the above, see step 5. Rinse, repeat. also hugs!

Wow.

twistsandturnsto2 · January 2013

Good Luck today! If drinking up isn't an option, you can always try to busy yourself with "helping"..... Clearing plates, cleaning up the wrapping paper etc. just keep moving so you manage not to get stuck in a awkward conversation!

kflynn81 · January 2013

BootsOrHearts:

Yeah baby showers are the worst. Here's some ideas to get through it:

1. Wear something form-fitting to show off your non-baby carrying shape. This should make expectant mother feel even more like a beached whale.

2. Play games on your phone the whole time. Ideally, ones with a lot of sound effects.

3. Make comments about pregnancy belly that are barely compliments 'My God, you're HUGE!' 'Are you sure there's only one in there!?' 'When are you due? Today?'

4. Act disappointed if she shares the baby's sex 'Oh well, maybe the next one will be a girl' or 'That's too bad, boys are so much fun'.

5. Drink, get a little tipsy if possible. If there's no drinks served there, bring a flask.

6. If anyone asks something about 'when will it be your turn' go on on about how much FUN you're having without kids - you can stay up all night drinking, leave town on a moment's notice, sleep in until 10AM on weekends, etc. Ideally do this in earshot of expectant mother.

7. If you start to feel guilty about any of the above, see step 5. Rinse, repeat.

also *hugs*!

Oh. my . freakin. god......this is perfectly hilarious. I'm cut and pasting this into a word document because I have a few showers coming up LOL

precious72381 · January 2013

I have two showers in the near future but with all these ideas I almost look forward to going, no, no I don't! Still think I will skip them. But if I change my mind, I plan on doing all the above! Great laugh!

siple1am · January 2013

BootsOrHearts:
Yeah baby showers are the worst. Here's some ideas to get through it:
1. Wear something form-fitting to show off your non-baby carrying shape. This should make expectant mother feel even more like a beached whale.
2. Play games on your phone the whole time. Ideally, ones with a lot of sound effects.
3. Make comments about pregnancy belly that are barely compliments 'My God, you're HUGE!' 'Are you sure there's only one in there!?' 'When are you due? Today?'
4. Act disappointed if she shares the baby's sex 'Oh well, maybe the next one will be a girl' or 'That's too bad, boys are so much fun'.
5. Drink, get a little tipsy if possible. If there's no drinks served there, bring a flask.
6. If anyone asks something about 'when will it be your turn' go on on about how much FUN you're having without kids - you can stay up all night drinking, leave town on a moment's notice, sleep in until 10AM on weekends, etc. Ideally do this in earshot of expectant mother.
7. If you start to feel guilty about any of the above, see step 5. Rinse, repeat.
also *hugs*!

I really hope you are joking.

interzone · January 2013

**TICKER WARNING**

siple1am:
BootsOrHearts:
Yeah baby showers are the worst. Here's some ideas to get through it:
1. Wear something form-fitting to show off your non-baby carrying shape. This should make expectant mother feel even more like a beached whale.
2. Play games on your phone the whole time. Ideally, ones with a lot of sound effects.
3. Make comments about pregnancy belly that are barely compliments 'My God, you're HUGE!' 'Are you sure there's only one in there!?' 'When are you due? Today?'
4. Act disappointed if she shares the baby's sex 'Oh well, maybe the next one will be a girl' or 'That's too bad, boys are so much fun'.
5. Drink, get a little tipsy if possible. If there's no drinks served there, bring a flask.
6. If anyone asks something about 'when will it be your turn' go on on about how much FUN you're having without kids - you can stay up all night drinking, leave town on a moment's notice, sleep in until 10AM on weekends, etc. Ideally do this in earshot of expectant mother.
7. If you start to feel guilty about any of the above, see step 5. Rinse, repeat.
also *hugs*!

I really hope you are joking.

You'd hope so, but I was at a shower where a woman did several of the things on this list. No one thought she was funny or cool, but we did trash talk and make fun of her after she left. Someone suggested that maybe she was bitter because she couldn't have kids, which made a few people nod. Someone else responded that with an attitude like hers, she shouldn't have kids. I doubt anyone wants their family/friends/coworkers to talk about them like that.

It took 2 years and IVF to get our twins. I remember how much it hurt to go to showers when all I wanted was a baby of my own. However, none of those showers were about me, so I put on my big girl panties and acted like a decent human being. Don't do anything you wouldn't want someone to do at your shower.

BootsOrHearts · January 2013

siple1am:
BootsOrHearts:
Yeah baby showers are the worst. Here's some ideas to get through it:
1. Wear something form-fitting to show off your non-baby carrying shape. This should make expectant mother feel even more like a beached whale.
2. Play games on your phone the whole time. Ideally, ones with a lot of sound effects.
3. Make comments about pregnancy belly that are barely compliments 'My God, you're HUGE!' 'Are you sure there's only one in there!?' 'When are you due? Today?'
4. Act disappointed if she shares the baby's sex 'Oh well, maybe the next one will be a girl' or 'That's too bad, boys are so much fun'.
5. Drink, get a little tipsy if possible. If there's no drinks served there, bring a flask.
6. If anyone asks something about 'when will it be your turn' go on on about how much FUN you're having without kids - you can stay up all night drinking, leave town on a moment's notice, sleep in until 10AM on weekends, etc. Ideally do this in earshot of expectant mother.
7. If you start to feel guilty about any of the above, see step 5. Rinse, repeat.
also *hugs*!
I really hope you are joking.

Maybe. Or maybe I'm just nuts. Wink

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Ugh...just shoot me

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