Blended Families
fauxshelley
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Long distance parenting and CS payments
fauxshelley
member
If your X lives out of state, how do you get or send cs payments? My XH doesn't want to go through the state with garnishments, but we are trying to figure out the best way for him to pay without having to mail a check (he forgets). We've tried paypal, and he didn't like that they took out a fee. I suggested billpay, but he is having issues figuring that out. We need something easy that will automatically transfer the money from his account to mine every other week, and neither one of us are willing to change banks. Any suggestions for us?
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Re: Long distance parenting and CS payments
We didn't have a choice about going through the state. It ended up being required that DH send his payments through the state. And apparently it was BM's decision whether or not to use IDO. She chose to do this.
My best suggestion for automatic payments every 2 weeks is online bill pay through his bank. Alot of them will let you set up a recurring payment. His bank will just send you a check.
He should be able to go to his bank and request and automatic ACH payment. You will have to provide him your routing and account numbers (and I would only do this if you trust him A LOT or if you can go to his bank with him and provide the information to them directly).
Honestly, if this were me, I would say "honey, if you can't remember to write a check and mail it then sorry for ya, we're going through the state." But other options are out there.
Honestly, I would go through the state and garnish the check.
The reality is, every time he "forgets" (really, you forget to pay the money that feeds and clothes your kids?) he opens himself up to contempt charges, eventual garnishment of wages, and maybe even jail.
We have been on both sides of this - my exh could not decide how to pay (so he just elected not to, sigh) and the BM of skids wants money a different way every month (and used to expect DH to do this).
In both cases we took the same approach. We are not responsible for our former spouse's life organization. It's nice to list out some options for him. If he doesn't like any of them let him know what date you will file with CSE for wage garnishment. It's not being mean or adversarial IMO, it's making sure exh pays to support his kids in a way that doesn't rely on him to remember.
Bill pay is probably the smartest and if he's having trouble figuring it out, he can go to his bank and they can SHOW HIM. He's pulling your chain I think and making excuses.
Another way - get a Walmart shared pre-paid card. It's the black one. He has one, you have one. It costs $3 I think to set up and he can go to Walmart, or go online and put money on the card.
Personally, I think you should insist it go thru the state. He's a fool not to. What if you say I didn't get the money? And what's to say that it's child support?
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013