Babying your baby

bigbootyjudi · January 2013

When DS was a newborn, I told SO that we couldn't spoil him and he agreed, so we, rightfully, never let him cry. Now that's he five months old, someone (probably his mother...) has put it into SO's head that we're "babying" him by responding to his every cry immediately. So, this morning, when SO finally woke up, S is screaming because he's laying down on his lap. I bring him his pacifier and SO swats my hand away and tells me to stop babying him. I respond with, "HE'S A BABY" and then continue to basically lecture him about how he's only five months old and doesn't know what is going on.

I just don't see why it would ever be necessary to just let him cry on the floor or the swing or wherever if he obviously needs something, whether that be a change of scenery or to be held. If he's crying, it's usually because he's hungry, tired, or just bored of where he has been and it's usually resolved in a few minutes of fixing whatever he's mad about. Anyways, apparently, I'm babying him and I need to let him cry more before I respond...which is pointless to me because in the end, I'm still going to fix whatever he wants fixed...so I can let him cry for one second or let him cry for five minutes, the result was still be the same, so why would I let him cry for five minutes...KWIM?

I can't be the only one that does this...I'd guess the majority of us do this, right?

Oh, and I'm done being a PW. Stick out tongue

mollyxcate · January 2013

I don't think you should let them cry until they are older, even if you do then. I may let Chloe fuss for a second if shes not crying and just being fussy... like this morning she was in her high chair as I'm elbow deep in dish water, she was fussing but I knew she wasn't hungry, or wet. She was starting to get sleepy but I knew she'd be fine for 2 more minutes while I finished dishes. She could see me and I was talking to her and she was fine then.

I will ignore crying when its a hissy fit or a temper tantrum.

latnprincess · January 2013

I let him cry when I'm trying to make dinner for DS and I know he's fine. He won't take a pacifier or I'd do that. Or like if I just fed him and played with him and put him down on the floor or exersaucer and he cries. I'm sorry. I need a break. I can't hold him all the time and I know that's what he wants.

lady_tytah · January 2013

Scout2005:
To your larger point, no. I don't think you can "baby" a baby. They're infants. They've been here for all of five whole months. They need love, and comfort, and snuggles, and all of that.However, I think there's a happy medium between scooping him up right away and letting him scream for a long period of time.It's not inappropriate at this age to let them fuss and cry a little bit. Self soothing is an important tool, for the child, and if you don't let them figure that out it can be difficult when they're older and they don't have developed coping skills.Obviously, you know your baby and his tolerance levels. I certainly see to DS immediately if he seems to be crying in discomfort. But I've stopped rushing in or over at the first squawk. He will more times than not settle himself down, distract himself with a new toy, etc.nbsp; I guess I look at it as a minute or so of unhappiness to let me determine if he will calm on his own isn't going to hurt him.

All of this.

ashS10309 · January 2013

I am with scout on this one.

JayandEmm · January 2013

There are circumstances where ds has no choice but cry, especially while making dinner and I can't get to him immediately without burning the house down. In general ds can't self soothe yet. Crying leads to screaming and hyperventilating real fast, and I can't let him get there.

MIL thinks that I should let him cry before feeding him [during the day] or changing his diaper so he learns patience. I'm sorry I can't let him sit around in a shizzy diaper or on an empty stomach to the point of tears, while I look at him and do nothing.

nicnac817 · January 2013

I never let my DD cry if she is in distress. Honestly, sometimes she crys just to get my attention. We like to call it the fake cry. She'll look right at me with a frown and cry like she's being swung from the fan. As soon as I start talking to her or pick her up she turns it off and starts to smile. I have started to let her cry when she does that. It will last for a minute or two tops!

I also think it's important to let them learn how to self soothe. They don't always need to get scooped up. Sometimes they just need a toy or thumb.

That all being said, I love to snuggle my boo boo. I can never get enough snuggles.

Keoh1215 · January 2013

I have a lot of trouble letting her cry, even though I know in the back of my head I need to let her attempt to self soothe at some point. DD gets really worked up and goes from 0 to 60 very quickly. Riley loves her mama and I have gotten a lot of comments (mostly from SO's family and the random cashier at babies r us) about how I spoil her and shouldn't hold her as much. I have gotten a lot better at putting her down to play more but we are still tackling naps out of my arms. Bottom line is I believe babies should be loved as much as possible, but of course need to learn self soothing and independence. They are only babies for so long so I think they should be treated as such!

NerdyMama2 · January 2013

We never let DD cry. If she's fussing a little, ok. Full on crying we're rushing to her.

KimnBen · January 2013

Sydney doesn't really cry per-say, she more or less "fusses", which i will let that go on for a few minutes but I don't let Sydney "cry" more than a minute or so. The only time I do is when I put her down for a nap.

Tula214 · January 2013

Jayson normally only cries when something is wrong. If he's bored, he usually yells. I can also tell the difference between a hungry, tired, or "mommy I'm hurting," cry.

With his teething, nothing soothed him until he pretty much cries himself to sleep. Even though me holding him doesn't stop his crying, I still holding him until he falls asleep. I want him to know Mommy is here for him during this rough time. I told my SO to do the same when I'm not around.

CLeigh03 · January 2013

A distressed cry I respond to ASAP. Everything else there is a bit of a delay pending he's been fed and changed.

Crossingfingers · January 2013

CLeigh03:
A distressed cry I respond to ASAP. Everything else there is a bit of a delay pending he's been fed and changed.

This, exactly.

Mrs. Rohde · January 2013

I'm with Scout, latnprincess and CLeigh.
If he's been fed and recently changed I'll let him fuss a bit because sure enough he'll calm himself down in a minute or distract himself with a toy. I can't hold him all day long. If he's obviously distressed then yes I'll go to him immediately.
But no, you can't baby a baby. But you can baby a toddler, preschooler, kid. Bear that in mind.

merricksmom · January 2013

We don't let ours cry. I don't see the need. If she's crying it's because she needs something. That being said, I don't jump all over every squeak. But full out crying, yeah. She's pretty good at settling herself though. Sometimes it's as simple as putting her toy back within reach. She's not a big crier though. Only when she's super over tired, usually.

UCONNBride · January 2013

He is a baby and no way at this age to spoil or baby him. Hold him as much as possible and enjoy! They grow way too fast and before you blink your little one will be a big kid. I didnt let mine cry. I didn't see the point.

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