The lengths we go to...

Ginormica28 · January 2013

Oye! Friends, family, and co-workers want to know if we're trying and I just want to scream "YAY! We're already pregnant!". We're trying to keep the secret 'til the end of the first trimester, so a while still to go. It's becoming a bit harder to hide it from certain people. For example, we have a couple of friends (another couple) who we hang out with at least once a week every week. They know I usually have a drink if we are hanging out (not every time, but usually I'll have at least one). I've already used "I'm on antibiotics", so the last time we hung out my husband emptied the bottle of Bailey's and filled it with milk, a bit of cocoa powder and some vanilla to make it look brown and I drank that in front of them instead. Then last night my MIL bought me my favourite pasta salad at our weekly family dinner, and unfortunately it has feta cheese already mixed in. So, when they were downstairs in the living room, I was in the kitchen rinsing of my own portion so that there was no feta cheese on mine. LOL! It might just be easier to tell certain people, but we don't want anyone to be insulted if others knew first.

What are some lengths you ladies have gone to hide this amazing secret?

rhek003 · January 2013

I'm pretty relaxed about the 'things to avoid while pregnant' list - I'm not pounding back the booze, but I wouldn't have thought twice about eating the feta on the pasta salad. However, on Monday I'm meeting some old co-workers for drinks and if I don't have something, I know they'll ask (or at least raise an eyebrow). I'm planning to arrive a few minutes early to talk to our server about bringing me a ginger ale in a short glass when I ask for a rye and ginger.

AshleyPT · January 2013

This sounds like a lot of work. Just curious - what if someone wanted some Bailey's or tried your drink? Also, EAT THE FETA!

Ginormica28 · January 2013

Our friends only drink wine, so I wasn't worried about that. And everywhere I read says to not eat feta cheese, so I'm going to stick to not eating it

michelle7482 · January 2013

We aren't hiding it either. If people find out, they find out. We already told most family and some friends.

Ginormica28 · January 2013

Labels don't always tell you if it's pasteurized or not. It stated that there was feta cheese which I could see without reading the label, but didn't say if it was pasteurized. So, to be safe, I just didn't eat it. Didn't want to insult my MIL cause she knows I freakin' love that pasta salad.

And I think they'd pick up on the cranberry juice...we've been friends for years and they know my drinks of choice are raspberry coolers and Bailey's. We happened to still have a bottle of Bailey's, so it made sense to use that.

RunningGal900 · January 2013

AFwifelife:
I'm not hiding it. nbsp;We told our friends here mostly because you can't keep a secret on an Air Force base and DH had to tell his first shirt. nbsp;If I was hiding it I honestly wouldn't go to such great lengths. nbsp;I would drink cranberry juice and claim there was vodka in it. nbsp;As for the feta cheese, you can have it if it has been pasteurized. nbsp;If you are in the US everything sold in the grocery store has to be pasteurized. nbsp;The only time you will run into things unpasteurized is if you buy from a local farmer.

Just a note on the cheese. I know for a fact Whole Foods sells unpastuerized cheese, so just check your labels. A regular grocery store is more than likely not going to sell unpastuerized cheese

Ginormica28 · January 2013

I would like to, but my husband insists we wait. He actually wanted to wait until 16 weeks...I convinced him end of first trimester.

Sok82 · January 2013

I am avoiding meeting certain people if i think they will guess!!!

SweetPeaK26 · January 2013

I can understand not telling friends not to hurt feeling because of who was told first, but honestly, our families, especially our parents would be hurt if we waited till the end of 1st tri to tell them.

NicknShan · January 2013

Love the baileys trick! My husband and i have been "clean eating" and alcohol is not allowed. However, we share a glass of wine. My sips are fake, he drinks the glass. My MIL also has a hottub, so I said I only wanted to stick my feet in because the chemicals bother me she luckily already knew that.

mandyk1821 · January 2013

I'm in the same boat. I was able to play the "I'm getting over the flu" card for the past couple of weeks, so I was able to pass the alcohol, but that excuse is quickly fading : I think if you handle it discreetly you will be fine. Even if you have to just pick around the feta as best as you can, hopefully no one will notice. And in my opinion it's really rude for people to ask if you're pregnant... Maybe use that if they ask! Ha! "I can't believe you'd ask that!"

Good luck.

ocnfish4 · January 2013

SweetPeaK26:
I can understand not telling friends not to hurt feeling because of who was told first, but honestly, our families, especially our parents would be hurt if we waited till the end of 1st tri to tell them.

I feel the same way, but DH is adamant that we don't tell his family until 12 weeks. I told my parents, but we will tell his at 13 weeks at his mom's birthday. I hate keeping this secret from them for so long.

Ginormica28 · January 2013

That's what I mean...I can't tell my parents now because that's what I want, but then not tell his until the end of the first trimester...I'd feel awful. So, we just agreed to wait to tell anybody. I have a feeling after the first appt. he'll want to tell people earlier though.

Paturkey · January 2013

I'm with you. So far I've gone with "gin" and tonic and that's been okay, but I normally drink red wine. Tonight we're going to a party and I plan to fill decoy beers with ginger ale so it looks like I'm partying down. In a week though, we're traveling for a week w some colleagues/friends and that's going to be tough!! I am thinking I'll use the antibiotics trick and if anyone asks, tell them I've got a UTI. They should back away quickly from more probing questions after that. Also, I can use it as an excuse for staying out of the hot tub. I hope it'll work bc we will still have three weeks before we want to tell anyone at that point! I hope it'll help that they'll see me drinking "beers" this weekend. Ugh.

erinmcdougall · January 2013

We have told all close friends and family. Figured its a good rule of thumb to tell all the ppl who you would tell you had a miscarriage. Plus it's to exciting to keep a secret!

smilormarie · January 2013

Other than going over to parents and in-laws early in the day when it wouldn't make sense to drink and replacing my glass of wine with a non alcoholic version I snuck in my purse during a girls night dinner, we are also skipping out on drinking parties like tonight. I was put on modified bed rest due to a small bleed they found so I don't feel bad about canceling. I'm 7 weeks and it'll be at least 2 more weeks til we tell immediate family as long as I'm in the clear by then.

Mrs.AllyH · January 2013

My mom and MIL ask/nag us about it at least twice a week. it's fun to say things like "maybe someday" and "maybe soon" in response. I get a little chuckle. although, when my mom goes into lecture mode I wish I could just say "I'm already pregnant so no need to lecture me on doing x, y and z to get pregnant because I already figured it out!" hang in there! just have fun with it!

DaisyZH · January 2013

I did end up talking to my mom, but we are still waiting on telling everyone else until 12-14 weeks (unless DH changes his mind and wants to tell his family sooner - totally his call which I respect either way).

Anyway it's funny because I am not a drinker so I have no problem hiding it. My only issue is deli meat - I know, I know it's such a small risk but I do avoid it if not heated. The thing is though, nobody notices me abstaining from subs as I think the vast majority of people do not connect that to pregnancy.

coraggiosa · January 2013

AFwifelife:
Ginormica28:
Our friends only drink wine, so I wasn't worried about that. And everywhere I read says to not eat feta cheese, so I'm going to stick to not eating it
Only because soft cheeses are more likely to be made from unpasteurized milk. In the US however it is not allowed to sell unpasteurized milk and cheeses in stores.
ETA: Thanks RunningGirl for the info! Check your labels if you are shopping at a natural store.

This is actually not true. My regular supermarket sells cheeses that are made with raw milk - they just have a HUGE orange sticker on them that says "MADE WITH RAW MILK".

OP - if the feta came from a large national brand, you are fine. Those kinds of feta are ALWAYS made with pasteurized milk. If the cheese is made with raw milk, it will say so.

AngelMommy11211 · January 2013

I don't wait anymore. I only waited with my first and wished I hadn't bothered with all that.

CDMay2006 · January 2013

coraggiosa:
AFwifelife:
Ginormica28:
Our friends only drink wine, so I wasn't worried about that. And everywhere I read says to not eat feta cheese, so I'm going to stick to not eating it
Only because soft cheeses are more likely to be made from unpasteurized milk. In the US however it is not allowed to sell unpasteurized milk and cheeses in stores.
ETA: Thanks RunningGirl for the info! Check your labels if you are shopping at a natural store.

This is actually not true. My regular supermarket sells cheeses that are made with raw milk - they just have a HUGE orange sticker on them that says "MADE WITH RAW MILK".

OP - if the feta came from a large national brand, you are fine. Those kinds of feta are ALWAYS made with pasteurized milk. If the cheese is made with raw milk, it will say so.It does have to say so, but it isn't always as obvious as an orange sticker:

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