Ready to give up BF...

dlwright · January 2013

I'm becoming so frustrated with BF. My son is a large baby.. 9.13 at birth, now 11.10 at 6 weeks. We EBF for the first 4 weeks. At 4 weeks we started supplementing 2 oz of formula occasionally usually 12 times per day to give me a break because he was nursing so often about every 90 minutes for nearly an hour. Now we are at 6 weeks...he now takes 34 oz formula 12 times per day, but seems to want to nurse more than ever. I sit down to nurse him, he falls asleep after 1520 minutes...I try to wake him but can't. If I lay him down, he wakes up screaming, and immediately wants to nurse again. We go through this pattern all day and all night, with the exception of usually a one hour nap in the day only sleeps if he is being held and a 2 hour stretch at night on a very good night. Basically, I feel like I am feeding him 24 hours a day, and it is exhausting. His pediatrician says he is just such a big baby that he needs extra calories..has anyone been through this...I need to hear from other moms, and need some support. I'm truly considering giving up BF because I'm so tired, but I feel terrible about it. I know it's what is best for him, so I'm trying my best to keep it up. But it is difficult to even get a shower or cook something to eat....

JuddandJessica · January 2013

I have no advise but I just wanted to give some support. I'm going through exactly the same thing right now. This is so frustrating!!!

dlwright · January 2013

I'm sorry to hear : It's so difficult!

caitie2002 · January 2013

My DS was also 9 lbs at birth and I went through the same thing with him! Except I think I started with the formula when he less than 2 weeks old! I was just sooo worn out and I feel your pain! He started getting more efficient (eventually) and I was able to stop giving bottles when I was with him. I really can't remember when that was, but I'd say maybe 3 to 4 months old. If you can just get through this it will get so much better. I just finished weaning DS about a week ago and now I kinda miss nursing.

Sorry if I don't have much advice; just try to get through this and don't quit on a bad day.

myskyegirl · January 2013

I almost gave up myself, I just posted about this today.

My lo falls asleep while bf all the time, even though they haven't worked for me, have you tried all the tricks, stripping down to the diaper, cold wet cloth, stroking the spine,stroking the ears.

Additionally, I found the only bf position that works for us is the Side By Side position, she falls asleep in all the sitting and holding positions. That way she can feed and if she falls asleep and detaches herself she can latch back on if she's still hungry, and I can get some sleep as well. I found this works well at night.

heatherjesse · January 2013

DS was 9lb 2oz at birth and 12lb 13oz at 6 weeks! He ate constantly. There were days when he would scream if I put him down to sleep rather than hold him for his nap. We just pushed through. It's ok if you need to put the baby down to get up to pee or eat or take a break for a few minutes. If he cries in that time, it is ok. You have to do what you have to do. But keep breast feeding that big boy! Supplementing formula will not help you keep up with his needs. Your body will figure out how much milk to make as he keeps feeding. We learned to feed in the side lying position which allowed me to nap while he ate and he could latch off and on as he needed. That was an awesome life saver. We are still going strong and on a good schedule. You can do this!!!

alie78_80 · January 2013

There is a 6 week growth spurt that it sounds like your LO is int he midst of. It does get better! LO will get more efficient nursing in a couple months (which I'm sure seem forever away).

Have your tried a carrier? The only way DS would sleep during the day for the first couple months was if he was being held or was in a carrier. It was so much better to be able to put him in the carrier and I was able to get things done. There are some that you can nurse in as well.

genekelly · January 2013

Sorry you're feeling so tired. It is really hard to adjust at the beginning especially when you have a baby who is not a fast eater and eats often.

My son was 9lb 2oz at birth. For the first 12 weeks it took him 30-45 min per side to nurse and ate every 2.5 hrs without fail even at night. That meant I'd get only ~1 hr to get other things done. To keep him actively sucking during that time I'd rub his feet, the back of his neck, blow on his cheeks etc. It was a lot of work to keep him sucking which I'm sure is why he took that long to eat. Obviously the more you nurse the better he'll get at eating and the better your supply will be. These first weeks are also hard because of the many growth spurts that LO goes through. It will get better. Try to set small goals for yourself and get to some BFing support groups if you can find one near you. I found them to be really helpful at the start. Be kind and gentle to yourself. BFing is hard.

minervacullen · January 2013

My dd was 8.7 at birth and is now just shy of 14lbs at 6.5 weeks, so I know what you are talking about. Though I've never even considered giving her formula. The more you nurse the more milk you will make and the fuller your LO will be. Also be sure lo is getting the hind milk. As far as sleep goes you need to be consistent. Sure dd would live to take every nap in my arms, some times I let her too, but she also needs to learn to soothe herself. If I know she's fed enough and has a clean diaper I lay her down with me still touching her after she falls asleep. Ill leave after a few minutes. If she wakes, I let her fuss for a bit. As long as she doesn't go crazy I won't bother her. If she'd does ill try to soothe her without picking her up. If that doesn't work I try walking or rocking her, if she is rooting ill offer my breast. She only nurses for 20 minutes. Now DS he would always nurse for close to an hour and be ready again an hour later. Just hang in there and try not to give him formula, even a little will mess with your bfing.

Grk_Natasha · January 2013

BFing is about supply and demand, so if you're replacing BM with formula then you're making that much less milk. DD was also a big baby and she wanted to nurse to eat and for comfort. Have you tried swaddling him? That's the only way I could put DD down to sleep.

Yes, it's hard to do things, like eat and even shower. No one said it would be easy!

PaMommy02 · January 2013

BF is challenging in the beginning! Its acomitment. I kind of went through what you are going through with my LO too when he was that age. It's time consuming. It seemed as if my LO ate all day and cluster fed too! Hang in there it gets easier I promise! For us it got easier around week 6 or so. My LO is now 6 months and breast feeding is a breeze! Good luck to you! Your doing a good job!

ThebabyK · January 2013

Oh Darling, I know it's tough. My advice do not give up. I went through the same exact thing with my son. He was 9lb at birth and is a 98 percentile from 2 months of age til now. He is 11.5 month now and the size of a 18 month old, weighs 26 lb ( according ot our pedi) and I am still nursing him. It does really get easier if you chose to nurse further, you will certainly get used to it and will start feeling better as you get used to the sleepless nights and long feeding times. When he is about 3 , 4 months he will start sucking faster and stronger which will fill him up faster so your hour feedings will turn into minutes. I was also almost giving up. Also my son is allergic to dairy which means I had to give up EVERYTHING that had dairy and you as you can imagine everything has dairy in them. I said to myself, I rather give up dairy than give up breastfeeding. Now that I look back I probably would not feel good about me giving up because it truly is so important for our babies. I am proud of myself and you will be too. Just hang in there DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!
Good luck

shotzie · January 2013

wife07mom09:
dont wake your baby if he is sleepingtry to put him down in between feeds and try NOT to feed him if you have already fed. try to wait the 2 hours. NO you cant put a 6 week old on a schedule per say but he may just be a fussy baby and cry more than some. nbsp;

Um, this is bad advice. Nothing good comes from making a newborn wait to eat. Newborns are often sleepy, so you need to prod them awake to make sure they're getting in good feedings.

OP, everyone else gave you helpful advice. The 6 wk growth spurt is a doozy. Nurse, nurse, nurse. If you supplement, you need to pump, otherwise your supply won't meet LO's demands. I promise it will get easier with more time.

lisac1017 · January 2013

Just want to add to the encouragement about the 6 week growth spurt. I had no clue that DS could nurse so often and for so long at a time. I logged every nursing session we've ever had and now, a year later, I just looked back and saw one time in particular that I did not get off the couch for 4 hours straight! He just kept switching sides and nursing. You're not doing anything wrong, they need to stimulate your supply. As long as there are enough wet/dirty dipes and LO is gaining just take it all in stride. Get comfy in front of the TV, keep lots of water and healthy snacks in hand. It does get better. At 7 weeks exactly DS dropped his feedings from 45 mins in duration to 25. After that, it went down to 10. Hang in there Mama! Do what's best for you, but know that this Is normal.

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