Complete disturbing news

Lesleyjking · January 2013

I am at a total loss. Our nanny, who watched K since 6 weeks just killed herself yesterday by jumping off the nordstroms building from their cafe. Im disturbed for severl reasons aside from the obvious...

We let her go 2 months back so I could stay home, she was upset, cried, and then after started to send me lots of messages on how much she missed Kingsley, asking if she could stop by etc. I thought it was a little strange and at times it made me uneasy, but we were also very close with her and we text almost daily-so I just thought I was being paranoid.

I got her another job, she left it because it was a strange household. I got her another job, and they laid of her a few wks later because they couldnt afford her. This happened three days ago.

She watched Kingsley 2 days ago, and seemed her normal very very bubbly self. She was a bit stressed to look for another job, but nothing unusual and actually seemed to have a positive outlook on it.

Her sister came to watch K yesterday. As I was downtown running errands I saw my nanny drive by while I was walking-she gave a big ear to ear smile and waved. I was about 100 ft from Nordstroms which was one of my destinations, but I decided to go to an atheletic store first. At 1:47 I text her sister as I was walking into Nordstroms to see how K was. Apparently, the store called the cops to report the jump at 1:52-so I was in the building when she did it. As I left Nordstroms and was driving I saw all the yellow tape, tarp, etc....-I thought it was a shooting which would be so odd for our area so I text my husband.

When I got home K was in her high chair with puffs and her sister was on the phone crying. She told me that our nanny had died, and then told me she had depression issues for years. She then told me she jumped off the nordstroms balcony. Apparently she tried to kill herself 2 yrs ago by taking a bottle of pills.

We were close to her, she was young, and SO happy and SO energetic always. I feel like I didnt know her now. I now think, what if I had gone into Nordstroms first and ran into her, or text her after seeing her-would she of not done it? But then, she was going to watch K Sat night-what if she killed K and herself? I seriously felt like vomitting when I thought of that. You read about nannys who take the kids with them. Im sick.

I have such mixed emotions. Disbelief, sadness, scared, and just utter confusion.

Mrs MoJoRisin · January 2013

Holy moly that is some deep sh!t. Stop thinking of the what ifs, there is nothing you could have done at the time to prevent this tragedy. Sorry for your loss.

nunzchucks · January 2013

Oh my goodness! What a sad story. I'm glad K isn't old enough to understand so you don't have to deal with that, too.

I agree with MrsMJR...you can't think about what ifs. Sounds like you did everything in your power to help her with the work aspect of her life. hug

ds1247 · January 2013

I am so sorry, suicide rarely leaves any answers. My sister committed suicide when my LO was 2 weeks old. She came to the hospital once and to my house once to meet the baby. I've asked myself a billion times why...I wish I would have checked on her more, asked how she was, noticed something wrong. But honestly, I/you couldn't have done anything. Maybe we could have helped avoid it for that day, but it would probably be the same outcome at another time.

I even talked to Elizabeth about watching my LO and she was suppose to watch my niece that Monday (happened Friday night/Saturday morning). So I understand that worry, but I know Elizabeth loved the girls (and would not have hurt them), as I'm sure your nanny loved your LO.

MrsLynn31912 · January 2013

So sorry for your loss (and the PP's also). That is devastating. And I agree..don't think about the what if's. It really does sound like you did what you could to help her out with jobs and still staying friends with her.

BellaOso · January 2013

Wow. What a horrible situation.

I'm glad your little one is safe.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. A friend of mine committed suicide about 10 years ago. She was also young, full of great creative energy, and also seemed so happy and bubbly all the time. It still hurts to think of what she might have done with her life if she'd got the help she needed. Instead she turned to a group on the Internet that supported suicide. They helped her feel like it was ok to take her life and helped her plan it. That was devastating to find out. I felt like if only she had turned to her friends or family for help, people who cared about her, instead of strangers who had no connection to her at all, maybe she'd still be here. I thought about what I could've done. But there is nothing I could've done because I didn't know how she felt. And there is nothing you could have done for your nanny. Just hug your LO and be there for her family now. Hugs to you.

Zimger · January 2013

How very sad and frightening.

I'm sorry that this happened and that you lost someone whom your family was close too.

kaleb87 · January 2013

Wow, I can't even imagine the thoughts and feelings you must be experiencing. I am so sorry for your loss. Rocknroll, and ds, I am also sorry for your losses.

It is such a scary world. We can check references, and really feel like we have covered all the bases when it comes to those who are watching our kids, but there are always outside factors we don't know. I'm sure she has touched your familie's life, and she will always be with you through memories.

eyenigh · January 2013

Wow. I'm so sorry. I don't even have words to help this situation but please, like a PP said, don't make yourself crazy with the what-ifs. Even if you stopped her today, it could've happened in a way later where others were hurt, too. You just don't know.

MrsJetSet · January 2013

Oh no, there are no words. I totally agree with pp, it may help to have a session with a therapist to work through your emotions.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

kaleb87:
Wow, I can't even imagine the thoughts and feelings you must be experiencing. I am so sorry for your loss. Rocknroll, and ds, I am also sorry for your losses.

It is such a scary world. We can check references, and really feel like we have covered all the bases when it comes to those who are watching our kids, but there are always outside factors we don't know. I'm sure she has touched your familie's life, and she will always be with you through memories.

Thank you. ds, I am so sorry for your loss as well.
Lesley, how are you doing?

kristens14 · January 2013

Wow. Ditto everything that PPs have said - you and your family should be receiving my mental hugs any second now.

Lesleyjking · January 2013

Thanks all. I'm doing better now. Her sister called last night and told me she left a noteshe was too exhausted from her anxiety and depression and couldn't fight any longer, and that she was at peace with her decision etc. She wrote please tell Lesley. So I guess there's slight closer but I'm still confused and can't help but look back and wonder how I could of done things differently as I firmly believe me laying her off started her downturn though I know I'm not responsible for what she did. In speaking with the mother that referred her to me, she said she had an unhealthy attachment to my daughter which she recognized before speaking to me. I know she kept comparing our household to the places I got her jobs at etc and really just was a bit too attached to our daughter. So I guess with all of that I understand she had deep issues just sad, she was do sweet and young

lorina · January 2013

I'm sooooo sorry that you are having to deal with that. I'm praying for you comfort and piece of mind. *hugs*

[Deleted User] · January 2013

That is very sad. I'm glad you are doing better.

mcgeeva · January 2013

That is absolutely terrible news. I don't know what I would of thought. Sad for the girl and nervous like you said of something happening with your baby. Aye

Lesleyjking · January 2013

nonasimonsen:
The part of the story that makes me scratch my head is the fact that she did it so that you could see her... There has to be more to the story.

Yeah I've struggled with why SUCH a public placeright in our smallish downtown at the corner of a 4 way intersection lots of cars and shoppers. She clearly was very ill. I just had no clue she was soooo bubbly and yeah she was a little stressed being out of a job but not depressed etc. Looking back I knew something was off re her unhealthy attachment to K but I thought I was just being over the top. She was a very very kind hearted girl sad she had such deep issues, I wish I had known she was this disturbed. Funeral tomorrow

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