August 2012 Moms

Really, Kiki?

Trying to hide that little number in FFFC?
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Re: Really, Kiki?

  • Obviously my comments in the vbac post influenced your FFFC.
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  • imagekikimo327:

    imageJayandEmm:
    Obviously my comments in the vbac post influenced your FFFC.

    You aren't the only person on this board who likes to get on her soapbox.... 

    I wasn't on a soapbox in that vbac post. I said there was no harm in trying for a vbac, since there wasn't any medical issues.

    When I get on my soapbox, you'll know it.
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  • I was so confused by this until I found that post.

    You could have labored and pushed and ended up with a c-section, so I think that's how some c-section mamas can and do have a right to have an opinion on vaginal birth. I mean, some of them were in labor for a ridiculous amount of hours before being cut open and had to suffer through their vag being all swollen from pushing and what not and a huge cut across their midsection.

    If you've only had a vaginal birth, then I don't see how you could voice an opinion on a c-section. No one would ever be in the middle of being cut open and be like,"Oh hey, my body changed it's mind."

    I think Kiki made a general statement...I mean, it happens all the time.

     

     

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  • imageanbeck4:
    I was so confused by this until I found that post.You could have labored and pushed and ended up with a csection, so I think that's how some csection mamas can and do have a right to have an opinion on vaginal birth. I mean, some of them were in labor for a ridiculous amount of hours before being cut open and had to suffer through their vag being all swollen from pushing and what not and a huge cut across their midsection.If you've only had a vaginal birth, then I don't see how you could voice an opinion on a csection. No one would ever be in the middle of being cut open and be like,"Oh hey, my body changed it's mind."I think Kiki made a general statement...I mean, it happens all the time.nbsp;nbsp;
    I didn't voice my opinion on cs at all. The op wanted to try for vbac and I supported that. Apparently I can't support vbacs because I've never had a cs.

    Taking mental note of that.
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  • imagekikimo327:
    imageJayandEmm:
    imagekikimo327:

    imageJayandEmm:
    Obviously my comments in the vbac post influenced your FFFC.

    You aren't the only person on this board who likes to get on her soapbox.... 

    I wasn't on a soapbox in that vbac post. I said there was no harm in trying for a vbac, since there wasn't any medical issues.

    When I get on my soapbox, you'll know it.

    Oh trust me, we do. 

    You act like I do this a lot or something. I'm generally a "do whatever the fluck works" kind of person, so I'm not sure where you got this idea.

    Eta: when I do get on a soapbox it's not usually about parenting styles.
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  • imagekikimo327:
    imageJayandEmm:
    imagekikimo327:
    imageJayandEmm:
    imagekikimo327:

    imageJayandEmm:
    Obviously my comments in the vbac post influenced your FFFC.

    You aren't the only person on this board who likes to get on her soapbox.... 

    I wasn't on a soapbox in that vbac post. I said there was no harm in trying for a vbac, since there wasn't any medical issues.

    When I get on my soapbox, you'll know it.

    Oh trust me, we do. 

    You act like I do this a lot or something. I'm generally a "do whatever the fluck works" kind of person, so I'm not sure where you got this idea.

    Eta: when I do get on a soapbox it's not usually about parenting styles.

    Really? Maybe it's how you come across in your responses, but I've seen this from you before, mainly in response to Ferber/CIO  

    What? I never respond to Ferber posts. I have said that I can't handle the crying when someone has mentioned Ferber to me.

    I most certainly did not mean to come across as a do gooder. I completely understand that Ferber works for some babies, and I support that. Whatever works.
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  • imageSaltylove:
    I'd love a link to the original thread, But I'll put myself out there without knowing the whole back story.

    I think it's awfully presumptuous to think you know anything about what it might be like to try for a natural birth and end up with a c section. Of the emotional fallout of that.

    I really wanted a natural birth. 65 hours in, after 3 hours of puffing to avoid pushing, and 3 more of actually pushing, I needed an emergency c section because DD was in distress.

    She ended up in the NICU, which probably could have been avoided had I had the c section earlier. There were signs of distress, and I think my midwife was a bit blas about them because she [and I] were both aiming to keep things natural.

    My midwife said I would be a candidate for VBAC, but there is no WAY I'd try. I'd like to have a more positive birth experience if there is a next time, and honestly feel a RCS is my best hope for this. The OB who performed my surgery agrees.

    Having a c section does sometimes feel like failing, and there is an implication that having a VBAC is a way to redeem this failure, which I think is a load of BS. Of course, there are lots of times where. a VBAC is possible, but ultimately the woman, and most importantly her doctor, should be making that choice.
    I never once said anything bad about cs. At all. Nothing.

    Information was misconstrued somewhere. I have never judged anyone on cs. The op in "WDYT" asked about vbac and me and someone else supported her right to a vbac if she wanted one. That was it. Again, no judgment on cs.

    I don't care how anyone birthed their child.
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  • I just want to day this. I experienced labor for 4 days on and off before my Csection and it sucked ass. I went in for my section and was holding my baby two hours later.

    Give me a Csection over labor ANY day.

     






     

  • i have no idea what thread you are all talking about.

    i love kiki and salty

    i have no beef with anyone.

    i did just want to say, J&E, that i have never felt you were being judgmental at all.  i think it's clear what kind of mother you are.  you've made it clear that you co-sleep, breast feed, whatever else.  i don't think, though, that it has ever appeared like you were judging people who do otherwise. 

    i do think there is a difference between having strong opinions and feelings about your own labor and own parenting styles and judging those who do differently.  i think sometimes the two things get confused on this board.

     that is all. 

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  • Kiki, you are so nice I know you weren't being judgemental. Everyone else so what she has an opinion like all of you do..who cares. 
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  • imageScout2005:

    I have had two beers and plan on more. Did any of this make sense? Did I just make it worse? 

    LMK?

    YES YES YES!

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  • imageScout2005:

    I have had two beers and plan on more. Did any of this make sense? Did I just make it worse? 

    LMK?

    Bump burp

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  • imageScout2005:

    I'm not really sure what prompted this, but if Salty found something off putting, I believe it probably was.

    Here's the thing from a primary and RCS mama: scheduled c/s are kind of great. Your body is rested (even after a week of severe gallbladder attacks for me), you go in calm, it's a relatively peaceful process. 

    I adored mine.

    But dude, of course that's not for everyone. I support whatever birth a mom wants - as long as it's medically the right thing to do.

    There IS a perception though - at least around TB - that if you don't want to try for a vaginal birth, you are taking the "easy way" out. There's a whole lot of advocating for VBAC and heaven forbid you pipe up with "well, I liked my c/s. Go for it if you want."

    Or even - clutch those pearls ladies - admitting you never wanted a vaginal birth in the first place and were DELIGHTED to discover a c/s was a medically viable option for you. 

    There seems to be this idea that vaginal birth > c/s birth. That it's more real, more legitimate, the "better" option.

    It's the same as the EFF by choice debate. Even though someone may not MEAN to offend by advocating for EBFing, the simple act of advocating for it (over just stating a preference) puts the other side on the defensive. Because if you think one thing is BETTER, that must mean the other is WORSE.

    We all want to be the best moms possible, but we also want to make choices that make our lives better as well. For some that is going to be a flat out, no labor attempt c/s. But there will be, for most, a lingering bit of defensiveness because people around this site seem to think that is a lesser choice. 

    No mom wants to be accused of making a lesser choice for her child, you know?

    I have had two beers and plan on more. Did any of this make sense? Did I just make it worse? 

    LMK?

    All of this.

    You always state it so perfectly!!!!!

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