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April 2012 Moms
KatFCo
member
Disappointing 9 month appointment
KatFCo
member
DS weighed in today at 28 pounds, 7 ounces and almsot 31 inches long. Yeah, he's a big baby. For the last 6 months the doctors have been scolding me for having such a big baby, but it's not like we force feed him or anything. He's just big and long. At this appointment, the doctor didn't scold me, but she still insists he's too big and I need to try to not feed him so much.
She's also worried he's developmentally delayed. When I got to the appointment, they handed me a questionnaire that asked if baby was doing things and I was to answer yes, sometimes or not yet (not sure what the difference is between yes and sometimes). It had things like "is he passing toys from one hand to the other" and if he'll clap when I tell him to.
Am I the only parent who doesn't pay attention to that kind of minutiae? I play with my baby, but I don't sit and think, "Okay, he just held one toy in each hand" or "look, he just put it down instead of dropping it." Because I couldn't remember any of these things, I said not yet, but explained why. So now the doctor thinks he's very developmentally delayed because he "failed pretty much all of it." (don't get me wrong; if he's delayed I want him to get services. I just think it would have been easier if I'd had a few days to fill out the form.)
He also "really should be sleeping through the night." Yeah, I'll be sure to tell him that at 2 am tonight.
I'm also annoyed because I had to wait for 45 minutes for the dr. to come in and her reason was that "everyone came in today; I have to see them." So because no one cancelled I had to wait 45 minutes??
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Disappointing 9 month appointment
Maybe you should switch pediatricians? If you're not happy with yours, you should definitely look around for a new one.
About the test you took, I took the same one at my girls' 9 month appt. Sort of the same thing happened to me, I couldn't remember if my girls had done all of the things mentioned and sort of wished I'd asked to take it home after, especially since for the next few days I saw them doing some of the things I had said that they didn't do. But I'm sure they must control for that somehow..
Im not a dr but if your baby likes to eat he like to eat. As long as you offer healthy food I would not worry. I really think some kids are just bigger than most. My husband was like this when he was a baby. I would not stress about that but again I'm not a dr.
I would call and ask if you can get a copy of the milestones and take your time to look for them. That was you know. I'm sure you could also google it.
As for sleeping again each baby is different. We are working on this now but at 9.5 months old she was still getting up 3-5 times. We had a great night last night but I have no idea what our final result will be. You know your baby and what he needs at night.
We see a DO and not an MD. They are still drs and most people have been to one with out knowing it. I truly feel they are better trained at bed side manor and listen better. But full discloser my husband is in med school to be a DO. Just something to think about. A 45 min wait would be really annoying. We usually only wait 15 mins at the most.
i take my questionnaire online. (chadis) they ask us to fill it out before coming to the appointment.
That is ridicoulus. I have never been given a questionnaire and I have 3 kids. I think you should consider changing pedi.
If my kid is hungry I will feed my kid. period...point. blank.
GL
At his 6m appt they gave me the questions for the 9m appt and they do ask that you complete it before you come. That way you can actually take the time to read what tasks they want you to be able to do and kind of practice.
Although it is frusterating to have to wait, I sometimes see that as a good sign. It means that the dr isn't rushing through appts and is taking the time to answer questions that patients have and thus will take the time that you need to get your questions answered. Frusterating, yes but really very common at most dr offices.
I echo PPs that I'll feed LO when he's hungry.
It sounds exactly the same one I did for Pilar. I did notice that it said to complete during a time that your child had a chance to do the things. If I wasn't a medically fragile special ed teacher and hadn't filled a million of those out before I would have been annoyed too. On the things that I hadn't seen her do I would think if there was a simalar action and would answer based on that. I think you have every right to tell the doctor that you haven't seen him doing some of the things, but you weren't looking for it and you will bring the questionnaire back in so many days.
Coming from a teacher stand point here's the thing about delays. The younger the child is the easier it is to head off delays. Those kids with early intervention often end up with little or no problems by the time they reach school age. The ones that are more severe are already in the system and get more support sooner.
It is more than likely that your child doesn't have any concerns, but it is better save than sorry.
I'm sorry you're still dealing with this. I agree with everyone about switching pedis, so it's good to hear you're considering it. We're on our 3rd pedi already, but all have been from the same group. The guy who was at the birth speaks terrible English, and that stressed me out. He wasn't available for the 2 week check up anyway, and we liked the guy we did see, so we went with Dr 2. We'd met him in the hospital, since Micah was sent to the NICU on a weekend, and all of the doctors took turns making rounds.
When Dr. 2 wasn't available for one of the well checks, we had a different doctor fill in, and we fell in love with her. She's very positive and encouraging to us. Every visit, she tells us we're doing a great job. I know that Dr. 2 would have been adamantly against BLW, because a girl from my local BF group has him and was given very strict food guidelines. He told another girl from my group that BFing after 6 months was worthless. I'm so happy now with Dr. 3. Go for the evaluation, and keep pedi hunting. You're doing everything you should be doing, and your doctor is a fool.
Micah Leonard
I totally agree I never pay attention to silly things like that...I should be making his 9 month app soon...I hope I do not get that questionnaire!
That's probably what I would do. My pedi has questionnaires at various ages too, but they're pretty relaxed about it and have the attitude that "all babies are different" and that milestones can be reached in a large time span and still be "normal."
I also think that your pedi saying DS "petty much failed all of it" was at best tactless and at worst, irresponsible. Talk about awful bedside manner!
Also FWIW, DD doesn't clap and still wakes up twice in the night to eat.
these things have nothing to do with whether someone is an md or do.
If I were you, I would probably change doctors. Even just for the last point alone. They should schedule expecting everyone to come in. I would understand if they said that some appointments took longer, since sometimes I'm in and out in 15min, and sometimes it's over an hour depending on the questions I have and if they need a second opinion (once to look at DS1's rash).
As for the weight, pay more attention to the change in percentile. If he's been in the 95% every time, NBD. If he went from 75% last time to 95% this time, big deal. That said, holy crap, you kid is twice the size of mine! he's not even 15lbs! But my guy does not eat enough, so yeah. I would not give you crap if he's staying in the same percentile.
As for the development, at each appt, ask for a copy of the next appts' questions, so you are aware of what they want. I have Kaiser, and they post them online, so I know what they will ask, so I can pay attention to what he is doing. Developmental delays are important to catch early, so don't be offended, they are just going off of what you told them.