Military Families
Separation from the Navy? RANT.
My husband is going to be separated from the navy and I am 24 weeks pregnant. We don't exactly know when he will be separated because we are doing different paperwork and talking to the attorney (if he would call us back!) and no one seems to have any answers for us. It seems like the only way we are going to get any answers is to just sit back and wait until he is actually separated. Until then he can't file for unemployment and apparently they can't even tell us what kind of money we will get from selling his leave back or if he will get separation pay. We have no idea of how much money we are going to get or when we have to be out of our house on base. We can't afford to move without about $5k because we are in NJ and no matter where we go (stay in NJ, go back home, or move somewhere new) we can't afford rent and deposit and general moving costs. The navy will move us about 400 mi but we have to pay for it up front and then submit paperwork to be reimbursed. Thank God we know it will be an honorable discharge and our health benefits will last 180 days (which will take us through my due date). I simply don't know what to do. I am done panicking and crying and I am at the point of constant frustration because I have figured out all of my questions but no one has any answers.
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Re: Separation from the Navy? RANT.
This. Was his PTS denied or something similar? Or is it because of something he did, like pop on a drug test?
Have him go into the Fleet & Family Support Center and look into the employment help they offer. They have always offered post military employment help, but they really upped what they offered after the ERB.
when dh sold his leave he was given his base pay for 30 days. That answers one question for you. HTH!
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
Just about anything is considered an honorable discharge. Why he is being separated can make a difference as to whether or not going to legal is even a step to take. Also, the timeline for discharge can be within days depending on the reason for the separation, again where different advice would be given.
I really don't know what experience you have with any separation, other than your H being JAG and HIS experience with it. I on the other hand have personally dealt with many Navy families and sailors going through separations and know there is a difference based on the reason. It's not just me being nosy.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this at once while pregnant, as I know it's a stressful time no matter what. However, I don't know what talking to an attorney is going to do for you in this case, unless maybe it's his first time ever failing it. That could be why he hasn't heard back from him.
IMO though, regardless of if he failed the taping by 2% or 20%, he was taped because he already failed the weight portion of it. PRT is not something that should surprise sailors, and it's their responsibility to maintain their weight and body composition within those standards. I have never seen a sailor get kicked out for failing his first PRT though, usually they get a warning and have to pass the next one. Also, Big Navy is pushing commands to be strict about PRT and physical fitness again, so it's not necessarily just his CO.
Have him keep working from FFSC. Mil1Source is also a good source of employment help, counseling and budgeting. You can visit NMCRS as well for help with budgeting and financial concerns with the new adjustment. If he has always has good evals and been a good sailor other than his PRT, then hopefully he will have good luck finding a job.
You are given multiple chances to pass tape. Weight and BMI standards are public knowledge and you are expected to maintain those at all times. The first time you fail, you are given 60 days to come back and re do it. This is not something that is the Navy's fault. A lawyer can't really help you much if your husband was given chances to get into shape and failed to do so.
There are people who fail tape frequently because of muscle mass, but they are given a pass because their weight and size are not from being out of shape. Those people can have a doctor or command sign off on their papers.
I know everything about why he is being separated and about the PRT's. He is 6'4" and the weight standard for him is 210. He has NEVER been 210 and would have to completely starve himself to achieve that. This is not his first failure but we think that it is unfair because he was working out and dieting on his own and then they had him go to mandatory FEP 6 days a week and they were doing weight lifting and NO cardio, which is what he needed. He could have done the physical part of the PRT with no problem. There are many factors as to why we elected to talk to an attorney.
I was looking for some support or maybe a good idea or two about how to manage being pregnant and dealing with everything, but it seems like most people just want to tell me how my husband has failed to uphold his commitment to the navy. Trust me, I KNOW! It sucks! It's stressful and I spend my days searching for jobs, trying to find ways to afford moving, finding a new place, figuring out the GI bill, researching colleges, figuring out unemployment, and trying REALLY hard not to cry. I thought that someone might know more about the separation process or maybe have advice as to what I can do to make the process easier on me and my family.
I don't know what you are looking to specifically know about the separation process. You have medical for 6 months after, which you have already said you know. How long it takes him to be processed out depends on his command and how fast they move it. I have seen people that take about a month to process out, and I have seen others that are escorted off base within a week of being kicked out. Obviously it depends on the instances surrounding their separation. The most accurate information is going to come from your sailor getting it from his direct chain of command. There are several resources available to families to help make the separation process easier, which have already been said in this thread (FFSC, NMCRS, Mil1Source, etc.). I don't know what other information you're looking for unless your questions are more specific. I don't know how you would manage your pregnancy different with him being in the military or not, but either way you will have your medical coverage through birth.
Sorry you didn't get the specific "support" you wanted, but this is the internet and you can't control how people respond. Also, it is a huge pet peeve of mine, and several people on this board that I know of for sure, when you blame the military for something that is nobody's fault but the SM. You can think it's unfair all you want, but standards are standards, and it's not the Navy's fault for sticking to them.
I dont think the PPs were trying to belittle your husband, but just let you know that going to legal and talking with an attorney is not going to help you unless he is being wrongly separated which it sounds like he is not. And as much as it may suck for you guys, they are likely correct. The standards are no surprise.
also to add some perspective, in many fields right now, the MM must have a perfect record to be granted reenlistment because of the draw backs. Plenty of highly qualified men are getting cut because there just isn't room for everyone anymore so any little thing MMs do wrong can cost them more than usual right now.
My DH is a stocky guy I call him my country boy and has to be taped everytime! He worries about this everytime PRT comes around and now we heard rumors (Navy Times) they are talking about random PRT. My DH is not the only one who prepares for the PRT about 6-8 weeks in advance and I think random will make it very hard. He continues his fitness training all the time especially being attached to the seals however, he cuts his calorie intake to 1500 often skipping meals for protien shakes when he comes close to PRT. I hate when this comes around because he gets grumpy and fatigued.
There is a clause in Tricare that will continue to cover maternity if sponser is getting out of military. I believe it was called secraterial. I think I would call Tricare and ask them just so there arent complications later even if your Tricare shouold go 180 days. Also there is automated housing referal network website which has off base housing renting to military. We got our place for no secerity deposit some have very low deposits and willing to work with military and ex military members