Late Term and Child Loss

Loss CheckIn

Welcome to our Thursday checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

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Re: Loss CheckIn

  • Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

    NNNNNOOOO.  Major steps back this week

    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

    I'm going to try and work on me, physically, emotionally and mentally.  I'm thinking of resuming counseling.  I quit after a few sessions because my therapist just blew me off and said I was fine.

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks?

    I kept busy by doing just anything.  Games on my phone, needlepoint, cooking (even though I didn't eat it), reading.  Just anything to keep me from sitting idle and thinking

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

    I'm so out of it right now that I don't honestly even know.  I miss Corbin so much and want so desperately to have another child that I can actually raise. 

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     

     

    corbinsmommy.blogspot.com


     

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  • Flutter- I just wanted to send you ((hugs)) sorry you're having a bad week. This ttcal is so hard.

    Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

    No, I've taken some steps back. Every new cycle just seems to crush me.

    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

    I'm trying to eat healthy, and I would like to be able to relax a little.

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks?

    No, I can't think of one thing that made me feel ok. I try to put on a brave face cause I know DH worries about me, but it's still been really hard.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

    TTCAL, I just really hope and pray this is our cycle.

    Jillian Rose- born 8/26/12 at 24 weeks. "It broke my heart to lose you but you didn't go alone, for a part of me went with you, the day God took you home"
    I love you always, my beautiful girl.

    Hysteroscopy 3/1/13 Dx: Unicornuate uterus

    || <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation TrackeMy Ovulation Chart

    BFP 3/18/13- Please be our Rainbow, we love you so much already.

    6/4/13-Found out we're having a BOY!!

    10/30/13-He's here!! Happy Birthday, Ryan! We love you so much! xo

    Lilypie - (Bfmg)

     

  • Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I finally met my godson this past Monday, and that was a HUGE step for me. I'm glad that I did it. But I've been a little on the emotional side this week, so I'm just trying to hold it together.

    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I'm going to start counseling again, this time with a grief counselor through the military. I just need someone to talk to, someone to help me through the tough moments.

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks? Keeping busy. I still had DS with me [we kept him out of daycare while I was out on leave], so it was pretty much impossible to cry the day away. So I kept busy. I did some redecorating, some crafting and just spent time with DS.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm just all over the place. My H and I are having marital issues, I know way too many people who are expecting right now, and I'm just an internal mess. I miss Devon so much, but I try so hard not to focus on his loss because it starts to eat me alive again. Sigh.
    ________________________________________________________________________________


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?  

    I have started planning some rememberance items. I started refinishing a rocking chair, and I really need to finish it, to have a place to sit in their room when I am grieving them.  I decided to paint butterflies on it in the color of the blankets they were wrapped in, and probably also add their names or initials. I also think this week I really started to be able to look at the pictures and feel love, not just sadness.  


    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

    I don't really have a goal, I am still just taking it one day at a time. 

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks? 

    Keeping busy, and finding support.  The more I talked to people, the easier it was to tell the story.  I like telling the story because I like talking about my babies.  I also found a great support group CLIMB ( Center for Loss in Multiple Birth) who connected me with another mother in my area that lost triplets. Talking with her and reading the stories of others was probably what helped me most. 

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

    I feel like I am "too okay".  It has only been about 3.5 weeks, and I am having mostly good days.  I definitely have my moments, but in general I am ok. One part of me is worried that I am in denial that I just don't recognize and that it will all come crashing down again. The other part makes me want to force myself to think about it just so it will make me sad.  I am not always ready to be "ok" yet.  

    TTC since May 2011
    Provera x3 late 2011, no natural response. (Previous BCP for 12 years).
     Dx PCOS April 2012. 
    Clomid x 4 - no response.
    First FSH/Ovidrel cycle early Aug 2012 - 18 days of injections, slow growth, erratic estrogen levels, triggered Aug 21st. 
    BFP Sept 4th and Sept 7th! 
     7wk US Sept 28th - triplets! 
    Perfect triplets lost at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix. Allison Grace, James Alexander and Colin Gregory forever in our hearts!  
    IVF #1 10/11/13 -  canceled before retrieval.  
    IVF# 2 11/28/13 - retrieval on Turkey Day! Hyperstim - no transfer
    FET #1 2/4/14 - miscarriage @ 9 weeks (Trisomy 6) 
    FET #2 6/8/14 - healthy normal baby! Due date 2/25/15
         Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? um well I met with my dr. and am still waiting for autopsy results but I got preliminary results, apparently they are thinking it was an abruption, there was a clot in the cord, my water broke and I didn't know it, and she had a bowel movement. I guess I feel pretty relieved, I had been blaming myself and was totally expecting to hear that I somehow killed her, I know that sounds crazy but it's the truth.

    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I don't set goals really I just try to make it through each day as it comes

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks? just looking at my mementos, and I've also been sleeping with her blanket from the hospital

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? thinking about getting pregnant again, hubby and I really want to
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  • Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
     
    Not really, just the usual getting by one day at a time.  I think I've been accepting our new reality more and more, which may or may not be healing...

    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
     
    I just reached my first post-loss goal this week.  I was trying to get down to pre-baby weight before we got pregnant again, and I finally did it!  Note to self, do not gain 70 pounds next pregnancy!!  I don't have another goal yet.

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks? 
     
    I sewed a lot, took really long walks and became OCD about every calorie that went into my body.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? 
     
    I've been thinking a lot lately about what would happen if I miscarried next pregnancy.   
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • * ticker warning* 
     
    Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
    Not really, but no steps backwards. 

    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I haven't set any goals.  Right now I am taking things one day at a time.  

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks? I found the support of my family to be the most helpful, this board, and reading loss books.  It really helped me to connect with other people who understood what I was feeling and to know that I wasn't alone.    Open Topic: What is on your mind this week? Ava's gravestone is in but because there is snow on the ground they have yet to set it.  I am upset by this because I do not feel that there is enough snow for this to be a problem and the memorial stone place has gotten on my last nerve.  They are saying that they can't set it until the snow melts and with these temps and a new snow storm coming, that won't be anytime soon.  I hate that I'm worrying about my daughter's gravestone.  I hate that the words "my daughter" and "gravestone" even have to be in the same sentence.     
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.

    BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.

    BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.

    BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section

  • Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
    I applied for a job in my field that I am extremely qualified for.  It took me most of the day to design a creative/stylish resume (the job is in design) and after I sent the resume I thought I might have an anxiety attack.  It's just prat time, but it's a managerial position.  I haven't worked in almost a year.  I also updated some FB info, because I think any potential employer will be looking at my page, that was a huge step. 
     
    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
    Staying on track with working out and eating healthy.
     
    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks?
    Really, nothing helped.  Everything hurt.  God, it was so hard. Some people did show they cared by sending cards or flowers or food, but I don't know that it really helped.    
     
    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? 
    Waiting one more cycle to try again, and trying to get some more weight off. 
     
       
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
  • Hugs to all that need it!

    Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

    No.

    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

    I keep saying that I am going to plan Annabelle's angelversary and never sit down to do it. I guess I can't believe that in two months, she will have been gone for a year.

    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks?

    Finding this board. Coming here and seeing that other people were going through the same hurt and also seeing that time does go on and makes it a *bit* easier. Those first few weeks I never thought that I would be this far.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

    Annabelle. I miss her terribly.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13

    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

  • Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
    -I lost him this  week so I guess everything is a step towards it. Giving birth, getting up in the mornings, having him cremated, having his memorial tomorrow...it's all still so surreal.


    What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
    -I want to make it through his service tomorrow. Everything is still one moment at a time...


    QOTW: Was there anything that you found helpful during those impossibly difficult first few weeks?
    -It helps talking...I didn't think it would but it's like there's a big knot in my stomach that loosens just the slightest bit when I can talk about our son.

    Pregnant after 1 miscarriage and 1 late loss. Due July 20, 2013. I am on daily Lovenox injections after finding out I have MTHFR deficiency and Homocystinuria. I hope with this treatment we will bring home a baby this time. I believe in you, Nugget.
    BabyFetus Tickerimage


    I am a mother to an angel baby boy, born still at almost 39 weeks gestation on January 23, 2013image




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