Seriously?

semdkm · January 2013

Today I can report a true "it really sucks to be a working mom and I'm sure this is grounds for divorce" story. I've been having an ache in my chest for a couple of weeks now, but yesterday finally called my doc b/c even though I can breathe alright and it's not painful, it's a bit worrisome. Long story short, I had to leave work in a flash b/c my doc scared me into getting in for an EKG FAST. After a million tests for clots, etc., three hours of commuting yesterday, no sleep the night before b/c son up all night, home from ER after hours there with no answers and no resolution but scared to death, my son wakes up as I get home from ER and proceeds to wake up again EVERY HALF HOUR. My husband was "so tired" that of course he heard NONE of this and I got to spend the night awake trying to get OUR son back to sleep. I have a massive headache, muscling through getting both kids together this am, worrying about what in the hell could possibly be wrong with me, and then, my boss, knowing what went on last night, sends me a request to respond to by tomorrow am. So, really, seriously??

RondackHiker · January 2013

I'm really sorry. Did you try to wake your H up to help you? It's really sh!tty he didn't help on his own.

IdigDirt · January 2013

That sucks and I hope you are ok. I usually kick H until he gets up if its his turn. He would never wake up on his own and just volunteer to help LO.

jnealet · January 2013

I would have woken my husband up too. Sorry, I hope you feel better soon.

mexicolombiana · January 2013

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I feel like us moms have this strange super-woman complex and we feel like we can do it all. And then we truly can't do it all because we are actually sick and need help, NOBODY believes us or takes us serious! Next time kick your husband a little harder and email your boss asap that you were in the ER and cannot get back to him for a few days. Hopefully that works?

I hope everything works out.

thedash · January 2013

Wow. My DH sleeps like a rock but I would have definitely gotten his @ss out of bed in that situation. He would actually be mad in the morning if he found out I stayed up all night in your condition and didn't ask him for help.

golfbride11 · January 2013

I'm not a doctor - but could the pain in your chest be due to stress? We "SuperMoms" tend to ignore our stresses because we're too busy and then our body finds new, painful ways to feel the stress.

Good Luck. I hope life throws you a raft and you get to slow down soon.

semdkm · January 2013

Oh, I definitely tried to get him up. But that takes forever, and by that time, I'm fully awake anyway and what's the point if I have to keep waking up, pushing and yelling at him to GET UP. This whole man excuse of "I don't hear, I sleep too soundly" nonsense has to stop. I think it's a conspiracy. Also, I kind of feel like even IF that's the case, that they can't help it, if your wife just spent most of the day and night the way I did (plus up most of the night before, too), sit up in a chair with a pot of coffee and keep friggin toothpicks in your eyes to keep them open, if that's what it takes. Also, if your wife is so beyond stressed trying to manage a job she hates with no real alternative and is at the point of having chest pains over it, maybe it's time to do absolutely everything one can to find a better job so your wife can take a break already-especially as I've begged him incessently to do so. I'm totally kicking my former "yeah, it's great when the wife is the go-getter career more highly paid one!" self. Hard.

KathrynMD · January 2013

I am so pissed for you. I probably would have gone down to sleep in the basement and told your husband he's up.

ridesbuttons · January 2013

I am going to suggest a come to Jesus talk with your husband before you meet Him in person.

Yikes.

KathrynMD · January 2013

ridesbuttons:

I am going to suggest a come to Jesus talk with your husband before you meet Him in person.

Yikes.

Yes

aglenn · January 2013

Yeah, it is time to lay down the law. DHs can be totally clueless and sometimes I have to be very upfront and very specific with mine about exactly what I need him to do (or not do) because the chances of him coming to that conclusion on his own is virtually zip. Things I think are obvious are for some reason revelations to him....but your situation is not at all sustainable and you are at a point where things need to change. Immediately. So get his attention, whatever it takes. Hugs!

1026pumpkin · January 2013

I would have a serious talk with DH about this. As a one or two night solution, could you put the monitor right next to DH's pillow with the volume turned up ALL the way, and then spend the night in the guest room yourself so you could at least catch up on your sleep a little?

Sorry you're having such a rough day :-(

AnabelsMama · January 2013

semdkm:
Oh, I definitely tried to get him up. But that takes forever, and by that time, I'm fully awake anyway and what's the point if I have to keep waking up, pushing and yelling at him to GET UP.

This is me exactly. Then it takes me an hour to get back to sleep. Once in a while, when I need a break from night-parenting, I'll go sleep far away from our bedrooms, even if it's on a couch, and tell my husband "He's in charge." That usually fixes is "sleeping too soundly too hear" syndrome.

cchill01 · January 2013

mainerocks:
IdigDirt:
That sucks and I hope you are ok. I usually kick H until he gets up if its his turn. He would never wake up on his own and just volunteer to help LO.
All of this, except that I poke him in the ribs instead of kick. :-P

I'm a kicker too. DH sleeps with pillows surrounding him, so I can't get to the ribs Stick out tongue

IBackBevo · January 2013

I'm sorry. I know how you feel. I've been having one of those weeks, too.

We had to fire our nanny suddenly--and, trust me, totally something I HAD to do. She was smoking around our 4 month old preemie/IUGR infant and lying about it. We had back up care arranged before we fired her, but then the back up care canceled at the last minute after we had fired the nanny...not that letting the nanny continue to watch our baby was really an option anyway. My Mom has pnuemonia so can't help. My in-laws are on vacation. My DH (who is an MD) has 20-30 patients a day he can't cancel. My Dad is the only one available to help with care, but he claims he can't because he is working on getting electricity to his apocolyptic (sp?) compound out in West Texas--best excuse EVER (said sarcastically)--since, ya know, even if the apocalypse occurs sometime soon, I'm pretty sure he won't have electricity anyway.

At work, I get a 500 page Motion for Summary Judgment (MSJ was not 500 pages but the MSJ+ exhibits were 500 pages) with a response due in two weeks dumped on my desk. Boss can't help because he is busy with more important appellate brief. Opposing counsel is a B**ch with a capital B and won't give me an extension despite me describing all of the above to her. (FYI, in my neck of the woods, it is common for opposing counsels to be congenial to one another and granting extensions isn't uncommon at all.)

So that has been my week: Going up to the office at 4 am to work on this MSJ Response, getting the stink eye from my coworkers when I leave at 9 am to go home to watch little one so DH can go to work while continuing to try to get some work done on this Response throughout the day.

Yup, I'm really agreeing with you that this working Mom thing sucks...at least it has this week.