Kids come home WRECKED!!!!

Re: Kids come home WRECKED!!!!

• J&A2008 member

  January 2013

  He needs to address this.  We dealt with this also, and found out she was leaving the TV on all night for them.

  We talk to her, sent an email, and when it was still not getting better, our lawyer sent a letter.  I can't say it improved 100%, but it did get better.

  Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.

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• SimpleJane member

  January 2013

  Are they not used to going there? Is she just letting them stay up late? Or is she not taking care of their needs? Could it just be they are having a hard time with the transition?
  
  I know XH sometimes keeps the kids up way too late and runs them around doing so many things all weekend that they are WAY overtired when they come home. It comes from a good place though, he just wants them to have fun and get to do lots of fun things, he's not intentionally wearing them out. Usually all it takes is for me to bring up how exhausted they are when they get home and remind him to make sure they are resting/napping. The next weekend there isn't an issue.

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• 2chatter member

  January 2013

  If you don't have a working coparenting relationship this is a hard one.  Exh went through a go out on his weekends phase, leaving DDs with a teenage sitter who let them watch movies until 2AM.  I got back awful, tired, unbearable children.  Over time pointing this out helped.  DD also mentioned it to him, that she was having a hard time on Mondays at school after being with him (no prompting from me).  She was 6 or so at the time.  Why does your DH not want to discuss this with BM?

  

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• lookame3639 member

  January 2013

  This is constant with DS. He goes for a weekend cones back exhasted with dark bags ubder his eyes he is also 6 he comes back worrying about death, especially me dieing, he throws violent tantrums, he's completly different. I feel you. I just try to remind DS that he is ok, he is safe, and when he is with me all he has to worry about is what games hes going to play at school.
  
  As for addressing the issues..with my ex he is a compulsive liar and will tell me whatever in order to make himself l look good. I can't talk to him so I just try to work with DS on my own...

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• Amanda88 member

  January 2013

  When BM would show up SS would always come home sick or overly exhausted and hungry. We can't dictate how BM treats or takes care of SS while he is over there, and you can't force a parent who doesn't care to care. If they must go over there let them know it is okay to tuck themselves in to bed when they are tired. That has helped SS in past. He would just sit waiting for someone to tuck him in, and it would never happen. SS used to be up all night watching TV because BM would entertain "guests", and SS had to sleep on the floor near the tv and dog's bed. We have a routine here, and he doesn't when he sees BM. That always throws SS out of whack. 

  I hope things get better. I remember being sick to my stomach every time SS would go and come back. Thankfully we haven't had to physically deal with BM in a long time.

  

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• +just+j+ member

  January 2013

  Are you documenting everything?  ANd I mean everything. Take pictures of them when they get back from BM's if you have to.

  I don't know that I could stand by and let my H do this - he's part of hte problem. I'd give him an ultimatum. DO something, or else.

  Ugh. I swear. Men are such wussies.

  "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval

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• la79al member

  January 2013

  Not to play devils advocate here but this sounds like my DD any time I let her stay up later than she should for whatever reason.  She is 4, she gets bags and dark circles under her eyes.  She definitely tantrums all day long if she is overtired. This is all made much worse if she is getting sick.  BM is probably going to get pretty defensive if your DH tries to tell her how to parent on her limited time.

   

                           
  

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