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Just need a moment to pout...

Cypress82Cypress82 member
in Infertility

A very close friend of mine just called to tell me she was pregnant. She had a 9 week loss last fall, and it was very hard on her. Her husband and her decided they were ready in January to try again. Tried once, and pregnant.

So..obviously I feel for her because of her prior loss and I know how hard that was on her. It was her first pregnancy, and they WERE trying, and it happened a lot quicker than she thought. Anyways...she got to experience (well, kinda) what IF is like for about 4 months. She's no where near what we all have been through, but she finally understood why I wanted to kick every pregnant woman I saw, and why I wanted to crawl into a hole and cry everytime a pregnancy announcement was made. She finally got it, so we got to *** about it together for a short period of time.

Of course I am ecstatic that she is pregnant again, and I'm afraid my excitement didn't come across on the phone very well. I admitted I was jealous, and she was afraid I was mad. I'm not mad, at all. Just envious, and I told her I would be no matter what! I just wish so badly that I could get pregnant that easily. You wanna get pregnant this month, and it happens, just like that. Ovulation test positive - let's do it, and bam, pregnant. It's just not fair :(

I have never had a loss, because I have never been able to achieve pregnancy, so I cannot relate to her on that level. But I would much rather never be able to get pregnant than have to endure a loss. She's very cautious right now, which is normal, but I told her all she can do is take the best care of herself as possible and it's not in her hands.

She told me she is so excited because we will be pregnant together after our IVF next month is a success! I sure hope so...

Thanks for listening to me vent...just in a sulky mood now...

**TTC #1 Sep 2009-Feb 2013**   Me: 33 DH: 32 (healthy, SA = normal)

DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp

IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN

October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own

May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying

October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone

November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN

IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F

2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.

HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368

U/S #1 3/21: Heartbeat and one perfect bean!!  DS born 11/6/13 via c-section


TTC #2 March - August 2015 = all BFNs

Prep for FET #1: Aug 2015: found "mass" in uterus on saline sonogram; scheduled a hysteroscopy to remove. 

Sept 2015: Hysteroscopy: mass turned out to be scar tissue(?), all removed. Recheck saline sonogram 2 weeks later showed "stuff" still in uterus (more scar tissue? remnants from surgery? Will see if clears with a period). Recheck saline sonogram 1 week later: all clear! Start Lupron and Estrace. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining only 5mm, add in patches. Follow up u/s 1 week later: uterine lining = 4.3mm (argh!), stop estrace and patches and start estradiol injections twice/week. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining = 5mm :/ Instructed to keep on estradiol injections and recheck in 5 days = lining still at 5mm. Need to make a decision - go for it? Or toss in the towel w/ this cycle and start all over again next year with a new protocol. Decided to go for it as we had 17 frosties; what have we got to lose?? 

12/2/15 = transferred 1 perfect Grade B blast

12/9/15 = HPT - BFP!!!!

Beta #1 12/11/15: 236    Beta #2  12/14/15: 503   Please stick little one!!!!

U/S scheduled for week of 1/4/16

Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
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Re: Just need a moment to pout...

  • teridanielleteridanielle member
    I very much know this feeling.  I'm dealing with a pregnant best friend too.  I'm avoiding her at the moment b/c I just can't hear her talk about pregnancy brain again or how I'll feel when I'm pregnant.  This is a hard, this IF road.  I hope you get your BFP soon!  I'll be thinking about you!

    All Welcome

    Me: 29 DH: 30

    IF DX Endo Stage III/IV SA: PERFECT!

    7/16/2011 Married handsome hubby!
    9/2012 Lap/Hystercopy DX w/ Stage III endo
    Bilaterial Uterine Suspension/D&C/HSG
    HCG/D&D on R/L ovaries/chromaltubation/Uterine Polyp
    10/2012 RE consult. DX move straight to IVF
    IVF #1 11/27/2012
    IVF #1 Cancelled for Low Response and Converted to IUI #1 --- BFN

    IVF #1.2 BCP 12/29 Stims 1/21 w/ New Protocol - Antongonist (225 Menopur, 150 Follistim, & Ganirelix)
    ER 2/2/13 11R,9M,8F -- ET 2/7/13 2 Beautiful Perfect Blasts/5 made it Freeze! -- 2/12/12 +HPT -- 2/14/13 Beta #1 71 -- 2/18/2013 Beta #2 521 YAY! Let this be our take home baby!

    4/21/13 Massive Hemorrhage from unDX placenta previa.  Bed Rest for 7 months.

    10/17/13 Gave Birth to our 8lb 2oz baby boy! 

    8/30/15 Started Meds for FET schedule on 10/13/15

    10/13/15 TX two great blasts.  Beta scheduled for 10/22/15

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  • dede0726dede0726

    Oh boy do I know this feeling. My brother just had his 5th child with the 3rd mother - when he told me the news I just about lost it...it's hard to be happy for them because its so irresponsible given he doesn't take care of the first 4 kids he had, but also that it keeps happening so easily for him and I want tht just once!!

     Here's hoping you get your BFP soon!!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • firesirenfiresiren member
    DH's friend called today to let us know they were on their way to the hospital....  We have both been pouty all day.  These friends avoided us when they found out they were pregnant...   I try to be happy but I know my sadness shows.  BIG ((HUGS))  this sucks!!!
     36 DH 33 TTC for over 3 years
    First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN
    Switching RE
    IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH!
    BFN
    IVF #3 March 2013~Tesa with back-up Donor Sperm,Tesa, unsuccessful used DS~ Chemical :(   

    Switching RE's within practice

    2 frosties waiting for us, November 2013!!!!!   Transferred 2 "average" blasts 11/20/2013
    BFP!!!!!!!  Boy/Girl Twins!!!!!! Due 08/08/2014

    My Blog




    *~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
    image
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  • Cypress82Cypress82 member
    I have 5 friends that are pregnant right now. *sigh* I am so happy for all of them, and a couple of them had IF journeys themselves, but man it just sucks to pretty much be the only one left with an empty uterus Sad I really hope I only have to deal with this for one more month and then never again!! So ready for this pain to be over!

    **TTC #1 Sep 2009-Feb 2013**   Me: 33 DH: 32 (healthy, SA = normal)

    DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp

    IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN

    October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own

    May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying

    October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone

    November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN

    IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F

    2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.

    HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368

    U/S #1 3/21: Heartbeat and one perfect bean!!  DS born 11/6/13 via c-section


    TTC #2 March - August 2015 = all BFNs

    Prep for FET #1: Aug 2015: found "mass" in uterus on saline sonogram; scheduled a hysteroscopy to remove. 

    Sept 2015: Hysteroscopy: mass turned out to be scar tissue(?), all removed. Recheck saline sonogram 2 weeks later showed "stuff" still in uterus (more scar tissue? remnants from surgery? Will see if clears with a period). Recheck saline sonogram 1 week later: all clear! Start Lupron and Estrace. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining only 5mm, add in patches. Follow up u/s 1 week later: uterine lining = 4.3mm (argh!), stop estrace and patches and start estradiol injections twice/week. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining = 5mm :/ Instructed to keep on estradiol injections and recheck in 5 days = lining still at 5mm. Need to make a decision - go for it? Or toss in the towel w/ this cycle and start all over again next year with a new protocol. Decided to go for it as we had 17 frosties; what have we got to lose?? 

    12/2/15 = transferred 1 perfect Grade B blast

    12/9/15 = HPT - BFP!!!!

    Beta #1 12/11/15: 236    Beta #2  12/14/15: 503   Please stick little one!!!!

    U/S scheduled for week of 1/4/16

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
    Report Reply
  • SCrierSCrier
    You have every right to take this moment to pout.  While struggling with infertility I have had both my best friend and my sister in law have babies.  What sucks is when people look at you in pitty and dont want to discuss it bc they "feel sorry" for you.  I have also had to deal with 3 co-workers celebrate their pregnancies at work and I was the one that threw them the baby shower (on a day I found out one of my cycles didn't work).  I feel your pain and just hope you dont give up.  
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  • starspangledgirl1starspangledgirl1 member
    i know how you feel and it sucks. im so sorry. you want to be happy for them but you feel more sorry for yourself. then you feel guillty for it.it happens to most of us. No joke, at one point during our TTC, the 3 people who were trying to help me get pregnant, my OB, my acupuncturist, and my BF were all preggo at the SAME TIME.  And I couldnt avoid any of them!  Then, I was getting Facebook notifications left and right of girls in my HS graduating class the same age as me (39-40) getting preg naturally and laughing about how it wasnt planned!! I was convinced the Universe hated me and was deliberately messing w/ me. LOL...Hang in there, itll be your turn soon. :-) Hugs :-)
    me 40, DH 39... FSH:8.6 AMH 2.3 AFC:15... DH: MF: sx for Double Varicocele, SA 45 mil, motil: 50%, morph 3%- "lazy swimmers!"... Me: All "normal" but aging eggs most likely... ;-/ DS: 4/29/05-7 yrs old MC 9 weeks: 9/21/11 TTC for 3 yrs...7/2012: 1st IUI: BFN 8/2012: 2nd IUI: BFN... Need a break already! IVF #1 in progress Jan 2013: Antagonist Prot.: Gonal F 300/Menopur 150 ER: 15 follies, 12 retrieved, 10 mature, 10 fertilized...grow embies grow! 1/8/13: BFN.
    Report Reply
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