Anyone else notice...

AmandaNic87 · January 2013

There are some super critical people on this site?

I understand everyone has opinions, but my goodness.. a lot of people on here seem to have a stick up their butt..

Sorry, I truly do not want to offend anyone and I really do appreciate the site! Maybe I've just stumbled across the wrong people too many times.. But we are all moms, becoming mommys, or TTC.. lets support each other in a friendly way.

Anyone else have this experience?

HeatherBob · January 2013

I have noticed this - not only on the bump - but on the Knot when I was planning my wedding. I ask a simple question and my head gets ripped off, chewed up and spit back out. Sometimes what I write on other people's posts get criticized too, by people other than the person who posted it. It makes me nervous to post anything on here!

HeatherBob · January 2013

taggarab:
I too know what you mean. I feel like this should be a place where we can be supported, but instead there are some people on here who are quite rude and can judge you when you say things and they are not taken as intended. This actually happened to me last night and I was upset and crying for about an hour that someone could be so mean to someone they do not know anything about. I do not know how we can teach the next generation not to bully each other when so many in our generation do the same thing. I feel like we just need to keep plugging away and just be responsible for our own actions. Good luck to you!

I wish I could "like" this like on Facebook. Well said. I've had some pretty awful experiences between the Knot and the Bump. It makes me wonder why I even bother asking for an opinion. Some one told me that I'm too sensitive and shouldn't post things on here if I didn't want my feelings hurt. There's a way to be constructive and concrete - but not downright mean!

AmandaNic87 · January 2013

Thank you for responding! I am so glad I am not alone!!
Some of the stuff I've seen people say is just rediculous!

KWisprego · January 2013

I genuinely consider myself someone who is able to take constructive criticism or advice even when it may not be what i want to hear. However, i agree that the few posts i have made have had some not so nice responses. Not everyone, but some and they are very strong overbearing criticisms/opinions.

But that's what they say- opinions are just like ***holes, everybody's got one. I don't mean to be crude, but it's true.

Chrisanna0508 · January 2013

KWisprego:
But that's what they say- opinions are just like ***holes, everybody's got one. I don't mean to be crude, but it's true.

Haha. Such a good saying

Beejus · January 2013

Meh.

I've been a lurker for the past few months. It really depends on the specific board. It's a good idea to get a feel of a board before posting. I find the month boards are more friendly, rather than the tri boards. The TTC board seems to get newer posters panties in a bunch, the parenting board is pretty cool, and the other ones seem pretty ok too.

Plus don't forget this is a public forum. People can respond however they choose to.

Good luck! I hope you find at least one board you enjoy being a part of.

sunlavender · January 2013

I like the snark. We have a good time over on TTGP.

LiebeMama · January 2013

Yep, sometimes it gets that way.

wealldeservepretty · January 2013

Not a big fan of snark. If someone is funny that is one thing but usually its not, and I think it keeps people from posting. Boring.

kel091011 · January 2013

I just had this experience a few hours ago. Made my first post to kind of feel out things and get some advice on starting the process of TTC, bringing up the conversation with my DH and other things,,,and I was told to "be an adult" and talk to my DH, and then come back to learn. Kind of took me back a little bit. Was looking for support and wisdom and it seemed like an attack.

MommyAmes2 · January 2013

kel091011:
I just had this experience a few hours ago. Made my first post to kind of feel out things and get some advice on starting the process of TTC, bringing up the conversation with my DH and other things,,,and I was told to "be an adult" and talk to my DH, and then come back to learn. Kind of took me back a little bit. Was looking for support and wisdom and it seemed like an attack.

I read your post. No one was rude to you. They gave you good advice.

I do notice that everyone who has an issue with this board have low post counts and just joined. You haven't given it a chance. You come on, ask stupid questions or get all worked up because people don't agree with your point of view.

If you dislike the snark, move to a new board. No one is making you stay here.

AmandaNic87 · January 2013

MommyAmes2:

You come on, ask stupid questions or get all worked up because people don't agree with your point of view.

If you dislike the snark, move to a new board. No one is making you stay here.

lol... maybe some people like the one quoted above just don't know how to be supportive..?

Kel, I'm sorry you felt someone was being rude to you. I've also had experiences where I felt people were being rude. I try to brush it off and believe that they don't understand how their comments make us feel.

I think when we are dealing with pregnancy, whether TTC or already pregnant, we are in such a vulnerable place. We come here looking for some comfort and then WHAM someone snaps at us and it hurts. We wouldn't post something if we thought it was a stupid question.. and if you think its a stupid question, you dont have to answer! Took me back the first time too! I'm growing to expect it though.. Theres advice, and then theres judgement and criticism...

I'm here if anyone needs some support. I wont judge you if you don't know what to do or if you feel insecure. I'm just trying to figure this out as I go along and do my best. If someone thinks that's not good enough, than remember what you were told in kindergarten "If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all"

Trista1985 · February 2013

I joined the day after you and also made my first post that day. Announcing my excitement and personal experience TTC, with getting pregnant the first month. Oh boy...was I in for the complete opposite of what I expect to get as comments. I was expecting connection and support, but rather got some of the rudest comments ever (high school drama anyone). Got called "selfie", accused of making it up or "MUD (which I guess means "made up drama), and even one kind sole who stated "congrats, I think". Really you "think", wow I was not expecting this, I expected kind, other pregnant women who could be a support system for me in a time of my life that no one else can share. You are correct, there are some real gems on this site.

Trista1985 · February 2013

AmandaNic87:
MommyAmes2:

You come on, ask stupid questions or get all worked up because people don't agree with your point of view.

If you dislike the snark, move to a new board. No one is making you stay here.
lol... maybe some people like the one quoted above just don't know how to be supportive..?
Kel, I'm sorry you felt someone was being rude to you. I've also had experiences where I felt people were being rude. I try to brush it off and believe that they don't understand how their comments make us feel.
I think when we are dealing with pregnancy, whether TTC or already pregnant, we are in such a vulnerable place. We come here looking for some comfort and then WHAM someone snaps at us and it hurts. We wouldn't post something if we thought it was a stupid question.. and if you think its a stupid question, you dont have to answer! Took me back the first time too! I'm growing to expect it though.. Theres advice, and then theres judgement and criticism...
I'm here if anyone needs some support. I wont judge you if you don't know what to do or if you feel insecure. I'm just trying to figure this out as I go along and do my best. If someone thinks that's not good enough, than remember what you were told in kindergarten "If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all"

This should be a post everyone reads. I wonder if some of these women have just been on the site so long that they have made it their life's mission to hunt out new people and try to break them. Probably makes them feel good about their self. I remember this for psychology, that people who feel the need to pick on other's normal have a very low self esteem.

I like how you point out that we are all dealing with pregnancy, regardless at which stage. Hence the website being called "The Bump". A bump means pregnant, but all different stages of women are on here: TTC, MC, expecting, and those who already have babies.

Unfortunately, the BS will never stop.

RevivingOphelia · February 2013

I find this happens a lot at the majority of forums. It's like women are snarky by nature instead of supportive. I'm on the Leaky Boob FB page, and they have to do a "remember to be nice" all the time. And that's designed for breastfeeding help and support.

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