- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
June 2013 Moms
flerlgirl
member
Dear Non-Pregnant Person
flerlgirl
member
Saw this making its way around the BMBs:
I found this gem in my email. I'm not sure who the author was, but it was posted on my BMB when I was pregnant with DD. (#6 does not necessarily apply since we are due at the end of spring, but you get the idea!)
Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions withpregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm.If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.
2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.
3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it...
4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight...ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.
6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will bepregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.
7) There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren't invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won't be invited to be there when it comes out either.
8) Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents' home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
Sincerely,
All the Pregnant Women in the World
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dear Non-Pregnant Person
PREACH. Every time I post a photo or an update on FB, my mother-in-law comments "MY baby!" and it makes me twitchy. Also, stop touching my stomach.
Man, I wanna repost this...but people would get so butthurt.
I feel like this should be printed on a card, like a business card or flyer. That way if anyone, friends/family/old lady at the store, comes up to me, bam. I can whip it out and not have to say anything =D
....I'm actually for real thinking about making this a printable and putting it up on my blog so every pregnant woman can have it......
Fantastic!
I say post it EVERYWHERE. My mom thought she would be in the room with me when I have the baby... what? Why? I'm only barely letting DH in.
Lucky for me my ILs are good! They do not ask these questions.
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
No, but you might want to wait for a few weeks. They are bound to "forget" and it'd probably be better to have them warned when you are more prone to punching someone in the face for their remarks/actions.
Married 07/29/10 and blessed with our Baby Boy Bowen on 06/17/2013
This is awesome!
I can relate to all of them, but #9 gave me a chuckle. I caught on really quickly that some people think "helping" is parking themselves on your couch and waiting to pounce on the moment you are finished breastfeeding or the baby wakes from a nap. I didn't need help with holding the baby, I needed help keeping my us fed and the house running!
The nicest thing anyone did for me was when my dad came over to pick up a list, and then ran to the market for some essentials for us. THAT was helpful!
What about a T Shirt!? I know it is a lot to read on a shirt but it would be good for those PEOPLE who cannot take a hint. Just point to the shirt.
Stand your ground! Call us; we'll come run interference for you.
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
My Blog
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
holding on to that feeling...
You go girl!
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
Clearly you hate your ILs and never want them to see your child. I thought you were a wise wizard!! How could you let this happen??
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
BFP #1 on 8/11/12 | natural m/c at 5 weeks
BFP #2 on 10/20/12 | due 6/28/13
I posted this on Tumblr and already got a reblog with the comment that it's a bunch of "stuck up, mommyjacking, woe-is-me BS." LOL ohhhhhh if only people knew. I will admit that some of it is harsh, but the basic premise is:
USE YOUR HEAD AND YOUR SENSE OF COMMON DECENCY. MY PREGNANCY IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
This makes me mad just reading it!
My two girls Flower and Ayla Faye
#7 is a big one for me. I love my mom but I'm a little weird about her being there while I am having the baby. This has nothing to do with the fact that she has been getting MW books out from the library "just in case she has to deliver the baby." O.o
I know that you are a dog breeder and had 5 kids of your own, so you've seen a lot of births, but just because I came out of your vagina doesn't mean I'm comfortable with you around mine.