So lost (vent kinda long)
Good evening.
So as I have posted on here before my DH are currently working on being licensed for foster care. We currently have one adopted son who is 18 and off to college. I am having a hard time right now with the fact that I work full time. When our son was adopted at age 14 I decided to stay home to give him the opportunity to enjoy having someone around all the time. When our son went off to college this past summer I decided I did not want to stay home by myself so I decided to go back to work. My DH supports us financially with no problem so that isn't an issue but I didn't want to be lonely the nights my DH worked. Well now that we are working on becoming foster parents I feel bad that I am not going to be home with them like I was DS. This is a new job since August and I carry the health insurance on me my DH and DS but my heart is shattered knowing these new kids wont get the same experience our DS had. I feel like I am not being fair. The DH and I both work nights so will have to work rotating shifts so someone is always here. This would only leave like 2-3 days a week we would all be together as a family. GRRR this sucks. I have done nothing but cry for weeks now over this.
Re: So lost (vent kinda long)
I'm sorry, that must be so upsetting.
But if it's important to you to stay home, can you quit? To me, it seems you have some options:
1. Quit at placement and use the qualifying life event to put everyone on your DH's insurance
2. Quit in the fall when open enrollment rolls around and put everyone on your DH's insurance then
3. Look into private insurance and put everyone on it when you're ready
Just some things to think about as you move forward
I agree. Great advice.
Do you need to work? If not, why not transition in one of the ways Dr. L. mentioned? If you do need to work, I suggest you adapt to a "weekend/time-off warrior" attitude.
My husband travels a lot for work and works long hours, and I commute 2 hours (round trip) each day. We only see the boys a couple of hours each day, but try to make the most of our time with them. Then on weekends, we cram in all the fun we can, and try to minimize the work. If things (other than the boys' school work) doesn't get done, it will eventually. It's more important we are able to spend quality time with them.
Can you do something like that for the two days you have together? For us, having a cleaning lady come once a week also really frees up our time. Is that something you can manage?