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Natural Birth
Manderlin923
member
On the fence about doula...advice, please?
Manderlin923
member
I delivered my DS med-free in a free-standing birth center with a great MW.
This time around, for multiple reasons, it's more practical to deliver at our local hospital. I am nervous about being in hospital so I was sort of trying to decide between hypnobabies home study course or hiring a doula. I happened to contact my old MW to see if she'd do it, and she responded saying she'd love to, and the fee is 500. A couple of problems-
-Although from what I remember from researching doulas the first time around, the price is totally reasonable, we do not have that kind of money lying around. It's basically a full month's mortgage payment.
-Because of the cost, and because I've done med-free before (although in a totally different setting where meds weren't even available and the support was incredible), I think my DH will think it is absoloutely ridiculous and unnecessary.
If you had a doula, how did you get your DH around if he was unsure? Did you think it was really essential? What if you are a STM- what do you think?
TIA!
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Re: On the fence about doula...advice, please?
Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
Our doula was such an important part of our birth experience and am so happy we had her. For us, it wasn't necessarily what she did at the birth (although it was all wonderful), but the support she provided before and after our son's birth. Having someone on-call to help with breastfeeding issues, concerns about sleep, etc. was so nice to have (especially for a first time mom).
Our doula's fee was also $500, which was A LOT for us at the time. We worked out a payment plan with our doula to help make it more manageable. Perhaps your doula would be willing to discuss a similar arrangement.
Most doulas will work out a payment plan so you don't have to pay all at once.
Meeting with a doula helped convince DH. So did the idea that if we hired the doula, he didn't need to really do much more to prepare. She told him how to be awesome and he was. He was the one pushing to book a doula for #2.
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I completely agree. Our doula was amazing. We really feel like she helped us relax and achieve the birth we wanted. I agree with PP that you can never have to much support, especially in a hospital setting. We have already decided that we will have a doula for our next birth. Hopefully, it will be the same one.
Just so you have another opinion...
We hired a doula for the birth of my son. She is fantastic. We really loved our prenatal meetings with her and I was so happy that I could email or call her with any questions or concerns leading up to the birth.
But...I probably won't hire a doula for my next birth. My DH and I labored at home for about 8 hours after my water broke. My intention was to have her come to our house when I began to struggle with coping on my own. But by the time I needed her support, I knew we had to leave for the hospital. We got there around 11pm...she made it to the delivery room just in time to hold a leg while I pushed through maybe 3 or 4 contractions. My son was born at 12:12am.
So...while I'm so glad we had her support leading up to the birth and it absolutely helped in my mental prep for natural birth, I feel like I was able to do it on my own (with DH's support, of course) and I feel confident that I can do it again.