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Blended Families
lb1212
member
Laptop for SD's 9th bday?
lb1212
member
For Christmas, DS (11) got a laptop. SD wanted one too, but ultimately decided on an ipod. DH was hesitant to get her one, thinking she was too young. Two weekends ago, SD was grounded from her ipod (talking back to BM and disobeying BM). Thursday school let out early and was canceled Friday due to the weather. BM's house lost power so she HAD to spend the night with the new boyfriend and (even though DH & I offered to pick up SD) HAD to take SD with her...ugh...that's another vent. Anyway, the new boyfriend decided not to allow SD to bring her ipod, so she was without it from Thursday evening - Monday evening (Mon was a school holiday so she was with us). I'm thinking that's one of the reasons why she's insisting on laptop for our place. I offered, instead, to get a "family" laptop that she can use whenever she's with us, but SD still wants her "own" laptop. I also said that I wasn't comfortable with getting her a gift that she "had" to leave at our place, and that constantly transporting a laptop (for her) wasn't a great idea. SD still has DH carry all her things in from the car, so I don't worry about her dropping the laptop. Since Christmas, SD has left the charger for her ipod at BM's so often that we just purchased another one for our place. Also, there's the concern that BM will take over SD's laptop (DH's initial concern with getting SD the ipod)....
I am partly irritated that DH and I agreed (less than a month ago!!) that she was too young, but now she's getting one because she wants one. I don't like us saying, "you're too young" and then suddenly being "oh nevermind" a month later.
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Re: Laptop for SD's 9th bday?
I would be irritated too with DH undermining the agreement that you made together. What does DH have to say?
And the carrying things from the car thing....this bugs me. DDs carry their own bags. SD did not at the same age (birth-13, this just changed). It just blows my mind that children don't unload their own backpacks....is entitlement (laptop, carry my stuff) a theme with SD?
My response is based on the answer to the following question: What is the sole purpose of the laptop? What will SD be using it for?
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
I agree with the "your to young" a laptop for house should be plenty my DH is big on computer security as it is part of his job but also is worried about kids and computers not being monitered. At our house he has filters and checks browsing history but who knows if BD will follow up at his house. He has already allowed kids to get Facebook at 9 and 12 and when I complained they should not have a facebook account banned me from it saying he monitors it.
I do provide my kids cell phones because they are at their dads house part of the time and we feel they are to young for those but a laptop I would not let go out of my house because their step sister have broken things I have gotten for my kids or they go to dads house and I never see again.
We allowed the grandparents to get DS a laptop to get him used to using it for school assignments. DS mainly uses it for playing video games and watching movies, however.
He will be using it for a big science fair project next month and to do some research for a History paper in March.
SD is wanting it mainly for the video game/ watching movies purpose.
Another reason that I'm concerned - In Dec., SD was playing on YouTube at BM's house ("It's okay! I have the parental controls on!") and surprise surprise, SD watched a video that scared the crap out of her! We're still dealing with her being afraid of having nightmares!!! I've never trusted YouTube and don't allow DS on it. That rule was enforced for SD, as well, at our place.
DS's laptop is the only computer in the house. I offered to get a "family" laptop and let SD get other things for her birthday, but SD is wanting her own.
IMO, I think 9 is too young for her very own laptop. I think having a family computer or laptop is a great idea. We use my laptop as our family computer and SDs have homework and other things that they do on there, but we keep it out in the open so DH and I can always look over and see what they are doing. We have parental controls on the laptop but I still don't trust the internet. You don't even have to be looking for something inappropriate for it to show up on your screen.
I agreed with the punishment. I mentioned it, because I think that's why SD wants the laptop. She wants it to stay here so BM can't use it as a punishment.