Was it bittersweet..?

crene84 · January 2013

For those of you who are pregnant or have children from donor embryos/eggs/sperm, etc after quite a while of trying to get pregnant with 100% bio children, was it bittersweet?

We plan to do embryo adoption at some point, possibly later this year and I'm very happy to have the option, but sometimes I worry how it will feel if it works. I have been excited to see what DH and I could create since we got married and even though I absolutely adore DD (who is adopted), sometimes I still wonder what a little me or a little DH would look like..be like, etc. To finally accomplish something that has been so difficult--pregnancy--but have it not be bio, I just wonder if it will be painful at all. I am hoping that I'll just be so excited...feel so blessed to be able to carry a child, have the miracle of pregnancy, etc..but I just don't know.

melkel559 · January 2013

I am not pregnant but I can relate to your post. This is one of the (several) things that I have anxiety about. We are starting dIUI soon and I just don't know how DH is going to feel if we do get pregnant. He himself says he can't predict how he will feel but he wants a baby and has accepted that this is our best option at this point. I am just so scared about feeling alone in it, that he will be somewhat detached knowing that the baby isn't his. I am reading Helping the Stork and that is giving me some clarity. One of the other recent posts on here listed books people are reading regarding embryo adoption so maybe look into those as well? GL to you..we are all in similar boats so I look forward to hearing others' experiences as well!

Maybe Joleisa · January 2013

PetraStonegirl:
After losing so many of our own, DH and I find it 99.9% sweet. We are here, and we are finally going to have a baby together. The fact that 50% of the genetic material came from someone who looked like me, but isn't me, doesn't weight heavily on our minds. The only caveat is fear of the unknown. That 0.1% looks down the road and worries that my future teenaged girl with throw the fact that she's not genetically related to me in my face during an argument. I do my best to keep that 0.1% tied and gagged in the darkest part of my mind.

This is one of the biggest worries that run through my head over and over and over again...thank you for typing it out. I guess I'll need to find a place to tuck it away, too.

crene84 · January 2013

Thanks for your thoughts ladies. I guess for me it's mostly, the past couple of years have revolved around getting pregnant and that moment when I can finally look at a pregnancy test and see a plus sign...and know, "we finally did it!" But then part of me will have to realize, "except that we didn't totally do it..on our own.." and we'll have to explain it to every family member and friend as our second child will also know their adoption story so it will not be a secret. I just cringe at the thought of how many "told you so, we knew once you adopted you'd get pregnant!" as I've already been told that many times and I'm not even pregnant yet.

lynn0926 · January 2013

My babies are not here yet, but I can speak of it in terms of being pregnant. Like pp said 99.9% of it is sweet! I would not be lying if I said I have not had fleeting moments of oh, I used DE. DH and I will talk about how we wonder if they will get this or that from his looks, but we can't say the same about me. That being said, I am so completely in love with my boys and have not even met them yet. I love that I have gone through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, no matter how hard it has gotten. I truely feel blessed to be having my boys. They are 100% mine and my flesh and blood is what has grown them into the babies they are. I am convinced they already know that I am their mom too. They love my hands on my belly, but with DH, and other people, they go into hiding. The bond is already there!

Was it bittersweet..?

Re: Was it bittersweet..?

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