Having a rough week

Amanda2011 · January 2013

I'm really getting wore out. My lo does not sleep well and is very much a high needs baby. as a result I'm exhausted. I love her with all my heart but I'm so wore out. My husband is pretty much gone all day and when he is home he has to do home work. I'm really starting to resent the fact that I'm alone with her all day and that he does not help me with her in the night. When she starts to cry he rolls over and puts a pillow over his head. I know he has a lot on his plate as well with being in med school. I don't have any family in the area and the only moms group here is very religious. I tried to go to the meeting and it was very clear that I was not welcome.

I have tried to talk to my husband about how I feel and he blames me. He says I need to keeping going to the moms group any way. We both are getting pretty short with each other. Last night I just could not settle the baby back to sleep it was 3 am and she had been crying for an hour. I lost it and started crying and threw a toy I had tripped on in the hallway. Instead of offering to help he yelled at me for making too much noise.

I keep telling my self it will get easier when she starts sleeping better but I have no idea when that will happen. I guess I'm just having a pitty party for myself today.

KatFCo · January 2013

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Can he take the baby on his day off? Or maybe you can find a babysitter one day a week?

Ximena M · January 2013

I'm sorry. Your husband needs to get off the pot or ***. This is really an issue of respect and parenting. It sounds like he doesn't respect you and doesn't want to be a parent. Sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk with him. My LO doesn't sleep through the night every night yet and I have a deal with my husband. I stay up late for the last feeding and he does the MOTN feeding. That way on the days she does STTN my husband gets a full nights sleep. Maybe you can work out a deal.

I can't CIO, but honestly there is no reason for me to do that. I would say that it maybe time to look into sleep training methods. I personally wouldn't be good for anyone if I was that tired all the time. Sleep training may also require a bigger commitment from your husband too.

BabyMakes6 · January 2013

I'm sorry you are so stressed and tired. I understand your DH has a lot going on but your child is his responsibility also and he needs to share in her care.
Can he not at least carve out an hour or so a day so you can get a break?

sharrison88 · January 2013

I've been having a tough time with my husband too, but since I'm BF'ing, there's not much he can do to help me out. Although I know this, I'm still resentful towards him since this past week she was up 3 times a night and he didn't even budge. As a PP suggested, I would look into some sleep training methods. We did a modified CIO, and before she got sick, it was working beautifully. She was sleeping from 7PM - 5AM.

Also, I would have a serious talk with your husband and let him know you're getting run down. I know how much it sucks to be exhausted and worn out. When you have to deal with a fussy baby *in the MOTN* on top of that, it's not good. It seems like you are understanding of his situation, so let him know that, but also let him know your concerns. It really does take a toll on your whole life (physically, emotionally, and mentally) when you're run ragged.

liz.eckel · January 2013

mama, this will get better.

*hugs*

now get back to work, don't i hear a baby crying>

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