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Parenting
sevans1975
member
Cutting
sevans1975
member
in Parenting
I could use some advice for my friend's daughter. Her daughter is 12 (13 in a few months) and has been getting more & more withdrawn/moody, etc. Last week she discovered that she is cutting. The next day, her school discovered it, too and she was hauled into the school's social worker. She basically told the social worker that she is overwhelmed with her homework and that her mom has been "on her case" about it.
She told her mom that she has only done it twice, ever, and it is because some boy she has been "in love with" forever basically rejected her into the "let's be friends" category. My friend doesn't believe that it was twice. She said she could pretty much tell she was lying and also felt scars on her arms...seemed like it was more than "twice ever".
My friend suspects that her daughter possibly has Aspberger's (not saying that is at all related to cutting), but she hasn't been diagnosed. She definitely has issues with recognizing "normal" social mores or however you would describe it. She is also something of a "tortured soul" in the last year or so.
My friend said that she will be working with the school's social worker and guidance counselor, but she is also going to find an outside counselor specializing in cutting.
Any advice for anyone who was a cutter or knows someone? 12 seems so young and my friend is almost overwhelmed with what she can do to help her daughter. Scary to her for sure.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Cutting
Don't have any advice but I'm sorry for the situation...
My ex boyfriends cousin's daughter (yeah... not to be "so & so's so & so"... but I was pretty close to her) was a cutter and had major issues, she was just about the same age. She did get better, believe they talked to a counselor but the girl is in college now and doing great.
I certainly hope that they get her help.
When I was 13, my close friend and neighbor (we'll call her S) started to cut herself. Her best friend (we'll call her J) had done it for about a year at that point and it earned attention from her parents. I honestly think that's why S started doing it. S's mom was gone a lot and didn't pay attention to her.
I would suspect that it's not school or her parents overwhelming her. Perhaps something else is going on. Bullying, abuse (sexual or otherwise), or she may have a genetic predisposition to depression. Either way, she needs to see a psychiatrist.
Avery - 8.2.07 | Asher - 5.12.10 | Audrey - 11.28.12
i started cutting at around 14-15, and until last year or so i still did. i still want to sometimes and it's hard to overcome the urge. she'll need to work it out on her own, but make sure her parents tell her that they love her and are supportive of whatever desision she chooses, that way she doesn't feel pressure which will make her want to cut more.
unless she's doing it for the cutforbeiber thing, then she needs more intense therapy and some boundaries.
I used to cut, around age 15/16. I was struggling with pressure from school, issues with my biological mom vs. dad/stepmom, and generally feeling like I had no control in life. Cutting for me was a way gain what little control I could over myself and my actions, as well as get attention. It also is very addicting.
I did a combination of things to help stop. I began seeing a psychiatrist, started taking Prozac, and I promised my boyfriend at the time and my best family friend that I would never do it again. Those promises to the people I cared about most had the most impact to me, as I didn't want to disappoint them.
I had a troubled childhood, I cut at a young age as well as other self destructive activities. I was put on antidepressants and that alone was not enough. I needed counseling to learn how to cope with things differently. Your friend is definitely on the right track to getting her daughter the help she needs.