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Parenting
RondackHiker
member
School tells mom to give her daughter a breast reduction
RondackHiker
member
in Parenting
A 13 year old girl is bullied for her breast size. When her mom calls the school to complain, someone at the school says that the girl is going to be picked on due to her breast no matter what, and that she should give her daughter a reduction.
https://fox2now.com/2013/01/17/motherschooltolddaughtertogetbreastreductionafterharassment/?hpt=us_bn9
Mobile sucks, so no clicky. And the link needs hyphens between the words from "mother" to "harassment".
https://fox2now.com/2013/01/17/motherschooltolddaughtertogetbreastreductionafterharassment/?hpt=us_bn9
Mobile sucks, so no clicky. And the link needs hyphens between the words from "mother" to "harassment".
This discussion has been closed.
Re: School tells mom to give her daughter a breast reduction
A) it's Fox News
C) the school says the incident is being investigated
https://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01/19/missouri-mom-outraged-after-school-reportedly-tells-daughter-to-get-breast/
Both kids have things going on that likely make them targets.
I'm guessing it went something like this:
Mom calls to complain.
Mom doesn't get the apologetic tone she wanted and answer she demanded. Mom becomes unpleasant.
School worker replies with something unprofessional.
Definitely shows how if you represent an organization to the public you have to be professional. The headline really should be "School WORKER tells mom..." but that would be less inflammatory.
ETA: The school worker obviously is an idiot, but the headline makes it sound like they were representing the official school policy, not just talking out of their butt.
Since the school has not commented, we don't know for certain that it was ever even suggested. Just because someone says something was said, doesn't make it true.
Consider this scenario. A mother goes in to discuss the bullying her daughter is experiencing. A counselor remarks "well, there is nothing your daughter can do about the size of her chest, unless you are considering a reduction".
The mom jumps on that comment and decides the school is telling her to get the reduction, when nothing of the sort was said.
Of course the headline is inflammatory. Gotta get people to read it. And yes, I echoed that here in the post title.
But I have to say, if my daughter was harassed for her body, I'd expect a damn strong reaction from the school.
Now, if she's not wearing a bra and falling out all over the place, someone should discuss that with her if her mom doesn't. Not because she is causing the teasing, but bc she'll be more comfortable and won't be showing anything inappropriate at school.
team switch board operator could use a titty twister herself.
Also, who still has "switch board operators"?
It wouldn't necessarily come up like that. The conversation might go like this:
Counselor: it really can be very difficult for girls who develop early, I've seen it before
Mother: oh, how do you handle it then?
Counselor: well, we have X, Y, Z in place to deal with the bullying behaviours, in a couple of cases, the parents actually decided to go ahead with a breast reduction for their children. It was quite something to see the change in those girls after the procedure.
Mother: are you telling me to get my daughter's breasts reduced?
Counselor: no, I'm just saying that some parents have made that decision and it really helped the girls...
Mother: how dare you! my daughter is perfect the way she is...
And so on.
I can see the conversation going this way...and I can understand the mom's angry reaction to this as well. In this situation she was askiing what The school had in place for dealing with this not for advice on what other girls parents did. It may not have been said in anger or even really as a suggestion but personally I don't think it should have even really been brought up.
Who knows how it all actually went down. But let's say for sake of argument it did happen like I suggested.
Why not bring it up as something that other families have decided to go ahead with? The benefit of a counselor is that they see hundreds or thousands of families/girls. Their experience is wider and more varied than any individual or family. Even mentioning it in passing as something that some families/girls decided to do might open up the option for a family who had not even considered it. Not as a solution to bullying, but as a personal decision for self esteem and physical health.
FWIW, I went to school and was friends with 3 girls who had breast reductions. All 3 report it to be one of the very best decisions of their lives. Improved physical comfort, improved self esteem, social and emotional health all improved.
And that would be fine if the mom went to the school to discuss her daughter's self esteem issues. She was there to discuss bullying.
Exactly this! No matter how it was suggested it was wrong too even bring up. It seems to me that it is putting to much blame on the girl or being bulliedand seemed to have nothing to do with a solution to the treatment she was getting by other students. But that is just my opinion.
I completely disagree.
Exchange large breasts for body odour. Body odour being the excuse the bullies are using to pick on the kid.
Should the counselor refrain from mentioning, even in passing, what other kids might have done including but not limited to medical intervention? Again, not as a solution to the bullying, but for personal self esteem and health?
Counselors are professionals. It's not the local barrista making the comment; it is a professional invested in the well being of the child.
ETA: I would well expect a counselor to discuss how the bullying might (and probably is) impacting the child's self esteem. I can't imagine one goes without the other. And I would welcome any suggestions or other professionals I might engage to help address it.
I do see what you mean rides and agree to a point. BUT I think that again this is such an extrem suggestion that it needs to be either the last case solution and only brought up when every thing else has been tried, or if the girl herself or mom suggested it. It's really hard even as a counselor to bring this up and yes they should be disscussing the impact on her self esteem, but carefully. If not done correcty It can also make an impact on her. Because while done with the best of intentions suggesting a reduction in her mind might equal "I am being harrassed and bullied because of my boobs...so I need to change the way I look so people will like me"
Not saying this is what happend, Just that I understand the moms reaction to it.
surgery =/= deodorant
permanently changing the way you look =/= taking a shower
Excessive sweating (hyperhidrosis) is a condition that most often affects the palms of the hands, soles of the feet and underarms. Dripping-wet skin can cause embarrassment and interfere with daily activities. In severe cases of hyperhidrosis (hi-pur-hi-DROE-sis), when more conservative treatments don't help, a solution may be surgery either to remove the sweat glands or to disconnect the nerves responsible for the excessive sweating.
You don't need to be so stubborn. There is no single, one, absolute answer for every issue.
I don't think you read the C&P. And you are being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.
It seems more like you're being stubborn, rides. You want us to say that it's okay for a counselor to suggest a breast reduction. I disagree. The conversation should have focused on stopping bullying, not acting like it would happen no matter what. I can't remember the exact line, but it was along the lines of "if we transfer her, she'll still be teased."
I have never said I thought it was ok for a counselor to suggest a breast reduction. What I have said is that I could see how it might come up in a discussion.
If that makes me stubborn, so be it.
Again, not once have I suggested that it would be ok for a counselor to suggest a breast reduction/nose job/braces/dance lessons.
So true. Using dumb non-issues to reduce my stress is actually amping it up.
But nobody's flaming me bad enough to keep me away.
ARGH!!!