I knew when my phone was ringing insistantly at 8AM that it was bad news. My ER was last Friday. The phone call was my RE's nurse. They retrieved only nine eggs. Of those, only five were mature. All five fertilized. Except, today, only TWO are showing signs of growth. The emergency call was to see if we still wanted to send them out for PGS, since there are only two. Our RE recommended transfering the two tomorrow, forgoing the testing. They needed an answer in 15 minutes. My husband and I fought through tears and disappointment as we made our decision. We decided to go ahead with the PGS testing. We weighed the pros and cons. All seemed equal, as far as risk. Then, thankfully, my husband brought up something I never considered: If we go ahead and transfer the untested two, I will spend every day worrying that there is something wrong with them. In addition, I would have to keep up all the Lovenox injections, PIO injections, and Crinone on a daily basis until the likely miscarriage occurs. ...Or, I can risk the testing and hopefully transfer with confidence. Well, it was not what we had hoped for, but now that I've had a day to live with the information, my hope has flickered again, if only minimally. I can't help but feel this is just like last cycle...that we're not going to make it to transfer. IF is so ugly. The pain and devastation comes in overwhelming waves. There really is no consolation.








My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update
- old blog.
PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age.
Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins.
First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12
First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
IVF #1:
10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s
showed 6 follicles in my right & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle &
150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET
11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe
abnormalities."
IVF #2:
1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left.
Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every
morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13
ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13:
CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as
having "multiple severe abnormalities."
IVF #3: NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3
follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150
Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0. Five day ET 3/16/13: one
early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN
IVF #4: (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline:
FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5
follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225
Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2
(Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd
stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and
focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my
eggs.
***Decided
to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...
IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now.
OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
EDD 3/18/15!
Re: Tough PGS decision today
I am so sorry. That would be a tough decision to make on the spot. I agree with your choice. I would much rather be confident about the decision than to wonder.
Best of luck!
For what it's worth : We made the same decision, but we had ONE. That one is our frozen beauty! I can't express to you the peace of mind knowing we have one normal blast.
I know it's costly, I know you have a small risk with Freeze/Thaw, but in the end... for us...this decision was priceless.
Stay strong, remain hopeful...
Me = 39 DH = 50 TTC (since 01/2009 after a short break, I stopped counting *cycles* in 2010)
DX 2010 : Unknown Infertility , AMA
HSG 2005 = Normal / HSG 2010 = Normal
SA 2005 = Normal / SA 2010 /2012 = Slightly low count : motility, morphology GREAT!
Chromosomal analysis, MTHFR, ANA's, Lupus, Protein C, Protein S, APCR = Normal 2011
M/C : 2005 (7wk), 2010 (6wk), 2011 (7wk)
8 IUI's 2010-2011 all BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist 01/2012 #1 = BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist long 06/2012 #2 = BFN
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF New Clinic/New RE 11/2012 #3 = One beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF 02/2013 #4 = One more beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
FET 6/20 : One 5AA PGS normal transferred Beta 1 6/28 = 53.9 / Beta 2 7/1 = 220 / Beta 3 7/3 = 550!
1 U/S 6w3d - Heartbeat 119 / 2 U/S - 7w5d- Heartbeat 169 / 3 U/S (OB) 8w5d - Heartbeat still great!
Baby G welcomed into the world 3/7/2014
SAIF / PAIF always welcome ****
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
This
TTC summer 2008
Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
Mental health break for 10 months
IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
7 fertilized transferred 3
Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl!
TTC#2 No birth control since DD was born. Getting ready to jump back in the saddle. Weaning this month. RE
appt scheduled 5/8. Here we go again!
11/13 beta #1 924!!! 2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430. First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
3 Clomid IUIs -- BFNs
IVF #1 never made it to transfer
On "egg health" cocktail DHEA/CoQ10/FRC/Pregnitude/Melatonin
Starting IVF #2 for Feb 2013
Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix
Cancelled mid-cycle due to high P4 levels early on.
OCPs again for IVF 2.5 mid-March. IVF 2.5 transferred two "gorgeous" 5-day blasts and BFFN. Even REI is baffled
On indefinite hold until a huge stroke of serendipity led me to IVF 3 May 2014
Testing found positive cardiolipins/APS, now on lovenox and intralipid infusions
Transfer of 2 5-day blasts and (FINALLY) BFFP!! 1st ultrasound shows two sacs and two HB, but one is sluggish, almost expecting vanishing twin Subsequent ultrasound confirmed vanishing twin, but my other Little critter looks fantastic!
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
-- Margaret Thatcher
^This! Hang in there!
| Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
5/09- Off BCP, 5/09-9/09- No period, 9/09-9/10- Lots of Tests & accupuncture
10/10 and 11/10- 2 rounds of Menopur + TI= BFNS
12/10-IUI #1 Menopur = BFN
1/11- IUI #2 Menopur = BFP, 2/11 missed mc at 9 weeks, D&C
5/11- Operative Hysteroscopy to remove uterine septum
6/11- IUI #3 Menopur = BFP, 8/11 missed mc at 11 weeks, D&C
1/12- Lap and Operative Hysteroscopy to remove uterine septum (again) & scar tissue
2/12- Stint Removal, 3/12 repeat SHG and HSG- showed scar tissue blocking right tube
4/12- Operative hysteroscopy (again), RE said he can now see right tube (yay!)
5/12- Stint removal, 6/12 repeat SHG and HSG-both tubes are open!
8/12- IUI #4 Bravelle = BFN
9/12-IUI #5 Bravelle = BFN
1/13- IVF #1, micro-flare protocol, 7R, 6F, 5dt of 2 AA embryos, 1 to freeze = BFP
Beta #1: 176, Beta #2: 422, EDD 10/8/13- it's TWINS!
*PAIF/SAIF always welcome*