Blended Families

WWYD?

DH and I don't hear from BM often. She hasn't seen SS in 9 months.

Backstory: The judge had a stipulation put into the CO to force BM to use a court mandated website to contact DH, and to state when she was coming for visitation. We also had a clause written in that BM's mom is not allowed to see SS without supervision.

 

issue: BM text DH tonight threatening him and saying he has been allowing BM's mom to see SS. DH did not respond. All of course at 11:55pm

 

This is what she sent at 

 Hey idk what kinda games your trying to play but you never once asked my permission for OUR son MY son you won't let me see to see her! Wtf? Thought the papers stayed she was not to be around son?? So does f

That find u in violation of our agreement is it not in the papers she is not to be around him?? This makes the third time you've violated the orders( DH)! 

And why do you not answer when I text? Plan on keeping him from me forever.. Hahaha your pathetic letting our son see a psycho! I know she's going to see him Wednesday and when my lawyer sees proof she's around him it won't be pretty. And trust me there will be proof!

 

-- we obviously do not allow SS any contact with BM's mother as she is crazy. 

Would you file for harassment if this has been a persistent issue in the past? Or would you let it go? Advice?

 

thanks ladies 

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Re: WWYD?

  • No I wouldn't file harassment I would just respond "Bm we agree with you and would never allow our son to see your mom. She is lying to you if that's what she's saying." And leave it at that.

    My dhs parents are horrible people who do this crp too so cut her some slack. It is very hard to be in conflict with the people who you have to call your parents
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • I agree with nine. Also I would respond with "if you have any further questions or concerns please use website to contact me"
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • Does it say in the CO both parties are supposed to use the web site for contact? If it does I would only respond thru that and not to the text.

    I would also keep the answer simple and say SS has no contact with gmom. If she has real concerns let her pay her lawyer to investigate false claims.
  • Contact her through website only.  less is more.  tell her that if she continues to send similar messages she will be reported as harassing.  If she continues, follow through.  
    Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • We will not be contacting her through text message as we are both to use the website per the CO. It states clearly "all contact will be made through the court mandated website". She refuses to sign up for the website because the rules don't apply to her. They had that convo via text after court about using the website, and it did not go well.

    BM knows good and well that we would NEVER let SS see her mother. She wants to start drama and harass DH. It is the same thing over and over. Her and her mom are BFF's. The word around town is she is strung out on drugs, which is entirely possible. CPS got involved with her other kids and they are now in a different city with their bio-dad.   

    I will let my DH know what y'all suggested about waiting, and only filing if she continues to harass us.  

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
  • Do not respond to the texts.  Only respond when she contacts you via the website.

    That is why the website is there, so communication can be proven and monitored.

    Do not engage her by any other communication.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • Since she so rarely contacts you, I wouldn't bother filing for harassment unless you want to be sure you hear from her often.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • If all communication is supposed to go thru the web site can your DH block her phone number?
  • I would file contempt for her not following the CO.  Perhaps that will encourage her to follow it in the future or at least leave your H alone.
    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
  • imageJ&A2008:

    Since she so rarely contacts you, I wouldn't bother filing for harassment unless you want to be sure you hear from her often.

    You have a very real and valid point there. We will just ignore her. She is probably just miserable and wants us to be miserable too. Thanks to everyone, sometimes it is incredibly beneficial to have outsiders POVs. 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
  • Ditto, "the don't respond at all" route.  Go thru the proper route or your lawyers.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • I'm surprised that only one person has told you to file for violation of the CO.  If she is violating it, then it should be documented.  If for some reason she tries to file anything in the future, you're going to need every speck of documentation that you can get.

     

    I would also keep a record of the texts.  You can take pictures of them with her phone number shown, not her name.  That way you have proof even if a judge won't allow the phone in the court room. 

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