Is the loss board the new zoo of TB?

rlajambe · January 2013

Seems like there's a lot of lurkers these days. Seriously, almost every post has a popular post because of the number of views.

I guess since CFNBC went to a private FB group, they need another board to watch out of curiosity.

Ugh!

starburst0928 · January 2013

This has been covered a few times in the last several months.

This board moves slowly so often times us active posters will go into the post several times to read comments over several days.

Of course there are lurkers. Some are loss mommies that I hope will intro, others are probably just curious (hopefully not because they are board). Or people like you, OP, whose had a late loss but doesn't comment as often. I know there are several late loss mommies who chime in very rarely but probably still finds support from reading.

Bayberry12 · January 2013

starburst0928:
This has been covered a few times in the last several months.nbsp;This board moves slowly so often times us active posters will go into the post several times to read comments over several days.nbsp;Of course there are lurkers. Some are loss mommies that I hope will intro, others are probably just curious hopefully not because they are board. Or people like you, OP, whose had a late loss but doesn't comment as often. I know there are several late loss mommies who chime in very rarely but probably still finds support from reading.nbsp;

Well said.

starburst0928 · January 2013

Bayberry12:
starburst0928:
This has been covered a few times in the last several months.nbsp;This board moves slowly so often times us active posters will go into the post several times to read comments over several days.nbsp;Of course there are lurkers. Some are loss mommies that I hope will intro, others are probably just curious hopefully not because they are board. Or people like you, OP, whose had a late loss but doesn't comment as often. I know there are several late loss mommies who chime in very rarely but probably still finds support from reading.nbsp;
Well said.

I am getting sick of all the miscarriage posters who post here on accident. But apparently they don't lurk or else they would have realized...

thecuddleeffect · January 2013

starburst0928:
Bayberry12:
starburst0928:
This has been covered a few times in the last several months.nbsp;This board moves slowly so often times us active posters will go into the post several times to read comments over several days.nbsp;Of course there are lurkers. Some are loss mommies that I hope will intro, others are probably just curious hopefully not because they are board. Or people like you, OP, whose had a late loss but doesn't comment as often. I know there are several late loss mommies who chime in very rarely but probably still finds support from reading.nbsp;
Well said.
I am getting sick of all the miscarriage posters who post here on accident. But apparently they don't lurk or else they would have realized...

me too, it makes me irrationally angry.

I am def one of the "read the post multiple times over a period of time" camp. So I bet if a bunch of us are doing that it could drive it up pretty fast.

Carolee · January 2013

starburst0928:
This has been covered a few times in the last several months.
This board moves slowly so often times us active posters will go into the post several times to read comments over several days.
Of course there are lurkers. Some are loss mommies that I hope will intro, others are probably just curious (hopefully not because they are board). Or people like you, OP, whose had a late loss but doesn't comment as often. I know there are several late loss mommies who chime in very rarely but probably still finds support from reading.

Agreed.

Carolee · January 2013

starburst0928:
This has been covered a few times in the last several months.
This board moves slowly so often times us active posters will go into the post several times to read comments over several days.
Of course there are lurkers. Some are loss mommies that I hope will intro, others are probably just curious (hopefully not because they are board). Or people like you, OP, whose had a late loss but doesn't comment as often. I know there are several late loss mommies who chime in very rarely but probably still finds support from reading.

Agreed.

Bayberry12 · January 2013

mdharrison:
thecuddleeffect:
starburst0928:
Bayberry12:
starburst0928:
This has been covered a few times in the last several months.nbsp;This board moves slowly so often times us active posters will go into the post several times to read comments over several days.nbsp;Of course there are lurkers. Some are loss mommies that I hope will intro, others are probably just curious hopefully not because they are board. Or people like you, OP, whose had a late loss but doesn't comment as often. I know there are several late loss mommies who chime in very rarely but probably still finds support from reading.nbsp;
Well said.
I am getting sick of all the miscarriage posters who post here on accident. But apparently they don't lurk or else they would have realized...
me too, it makes me irrationally angry.
I am def one of the "read the post multiple times over a period of time" camp. So I bet if a bunch of us are doing that it could drive it up pretty fast.
I am, too. I am always here reading everything, but I rarely comment any more. I love my loss ladies, but it's a frustrating place sometimes when I come here to read what I think is a new post and see it's another m/c question or something. I can't help with that, you're on the wrong board.

The miscarriage posts are frustrating. I feel bad saying this, but they do make me "irrationally angry" too. I see a new post and think, no, not a new mom who now knows a pain that no woman should know, and I think maybe I can offer support or understanding. But then, I see they are on the wrong board. When I first came here it actually hurt and scared me to see miscarriage posts here, it's such a different loss, I always felt relieved when someone told them they were in the wrong place.

jess123456 · January 2013

Is there any way for the name of the board to be changed to Late Loss? I think the name Loss falls under so many categories and maybe this would help? I am not sure how to get in touch with the folks at The Bump but if this is a possibility maybe it would help point people in the right direction.

Carolee · January 2013

jess123456:
Is there any way for the name of the board to be changed to Late Loss? I think the name Loss falls under so many categories and maybe this would help? I am not sure how to get in touch with the folks at The Bump but if this is a possibility maybe it would help point people in the right direction.

We tried this before. Late loss works for many of us, but there are some here who have experienced infant or child loss. They need to be included too. Loss is just more all encompassing. If people would only read the board description before posting...

jess123456 · January 2013

Carolee:
jess123456:
Is there any way for the name of the board to be changed to Late Loss? I think the name Loss falls under so many categories and maybe this would help? I am not sure how to get in touch with the folks at The Bump but if this is a possibility maybe it would help point people in the right direction.
We tried this before. Late loss works for many of us, but there are some here who have experienced infant or child loss. They need to be included too. Loss is just more all encompassing. If people would only read the board description before posting...

Thanks, Carolee. You are so right about this.

Heatherhah · January 2013

I agree Carolee they should really read the header to this group.

I have suffered 2 m/c and while they are very upsetting and very hard to deal with nothing will ever be as hard as cremating one of my babies a full term little girl who died to soon. You can't really compare that loss in my opinion!! But that is my opinion.

Heather

HullGut · January 2013

I guess you could say I am a lurker who comments every once in awhile. But that doesnt mean I don't find a lot of support and comfort from you ladies.

I lost my son at 40 weeks due to a birth accident and yes it bothers me IRL when people compare it to a miscarriage and on here when miscarriage is brought up. I know that people don't do it on purpose but it still bothers me.

That being said I am lucky to have this board to get support from.

zeldadoggo121 · January 2013

I'm mostly a lurker during the times that I find coping to be hard. I'm not an incredibly active poster and I lost my daughter almost five years ago, I've never really had any support and I've always been afraid to formally introduce myself on here. I think there's probably others doing the same.

OSUWifey09 · January 2013

I also lurked for a few days before I posted for the first time - and I lurk a lot now for various reasons. The uptick in m/c posts has been annoying, too, which is why I've been staying away and only checking in every now and then. But I'm definitely glad this board is here.

CEOwife · January 2013

I lurk here but rarely post. I lost my sweet baby Isaac on May 31. I come back here now and again for support on rough days. I find myself not posting as much because I fear the lurkers that aren't here for the same reasons us loss mamas are. I do think about the loss mamas and TTCAL mamas on a regular basis.

WifeofaComposer · January 2013

I'm still new here, and now I'm questioning whether I belong. Our baby was born sleeping at 19 weeks. My question is this: do the other ladies on the "Loss" board consider that a miscarriage, or is it recognized as a loss? Our baby's body is undergoing many tests and a full autopsy, and our doctors are treating the death of our baby as an infant loss, because our baby was perfectly healthy with a textbook NT scan and my quadruple screening blood test.

Should I be posting on the "Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss" board?

rlajambe · January 2013

WifeofaComposer:

I'm still new here, and now I'm questioning whether I belong. Our baby was born sleeping at 19 weeks. My question is this: do the other ladies on the "Loss" board consider that a miscarriage, or is it recognized as a loss? Our baby's body is undergoing many tests and a full autopsy, and our doctors are treating the death of our baby as an infant loss, because our baby was perfectly healthy with a textbook NT scan and my quadruple screening blood test.

Should I be posting on the "Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss" board?

I would say you're in the right place. This board is more for second and third tri losses, while MCPL is more for first tri losses.

WifeofaComposer · January 2013

Thank you - I like the ladies here. Smile

silverlining8d · January 2013

I am very new to this board...and the situation but on the miscarriage thing...it did upset me running across one here yesterday and it bothers me seeing the stories all jumbled on other support pages. I had a miscarriage in 2011, it was rough but it was nothing like the all encompassing sorrow I am experiencing now. The lady I talked to about updating my insurance saying, "So you had a miscarriage?" made me almost start crying on the phone. It's not a miscarriage...he was a full term baby that I heard the heartbeat of a week ago!

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