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Blended Families
Asking for time during his parenting time
So my daughter was asked to be the flower girl in my cousins wedding. It is on a weekend my x has her. I was thinking about writing a letter and asking him to respond to it so I have in writing his decision. How should I word it and do you agree that's the best way to handle it?
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Re: Asking for time during his parenting time
First give him as much notice as possible. Are you willing to switch weekends with him? If so, say something like, "DD has been asked to be the flower girl in Cousin's wedding but unfortunately it lands on your weekend. Would it be possible to switch weekends so that DD can be in the wedding and so you don't miss out on time with her?"
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why do you need his decision in writing? I mean, if it's his time he can either say yes or no...
My sister in law got married on a day that was BM's. My DH asked her if he could take ss for a few hours during it. SIL actually invited BM after she realized that it would fall that way. SIL declined but allowed SS to go. DH and BM did not have the best relationship at the time, but she let him go. BM got married to her 2nd husband on a day we had SS. DH returned the favor and let SS go. Even though he turned into a psycho step dad and she is now divorced form him. meh.
IDK I don't think you really need a formal letter. It's not like you can take him to court and say 'seeee what a horrible person he is! wouldn't let me have his time for a wedding we were invited to!'. lol. Just seems silly.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
This is perfect! GL! I hope he's cooperative
I think having it in writing is a good idea just in case he tries to claim he never agreed to it and tries to keep DD that weekend.
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ITA! BTDT.
This. I always, always, ALWAYS get things in writing! Even though we communicate well now, I always make sure things are in writing. Unfortunately, you never know when the calm will turn into the storm.
I think I've only asked once, maybe twice.
I just always text and tell his dad what's up and ask him to switch week-ends. I ALWAYS make sure to offer to make up the parenting time.
In all honesty, the last time, his dad had a two week old and just agreed to skip that week-end.
We have been pretty flexible for those kind of things. And I do the same for him, I've actually given him extra parenting time when he's asked.
I would just make sure that you are flexible when he ask for changes or switches too.
Oh, and I always email the request, then change the dates on our shared google calendar as soon as he replies.
I don't know what terms you are on with your ex but I have had instances come up where we have been invited to parties, weddings, and such that would fall on his weekend. My ex are on great terms so we just ask each other if its okay and usually there are no issues.
I would just mention it to him and ask if it would be okay to pick her up that morning and bring her back the following morning or later that evening depending on the time of the wedding.
I have learned that if you are friendly with your ex, you will get so much farther when you want something.