Visiting my birthson

GracefulyClumsy · January 2013

First time on here so please be nice.

Im going to see my birthson for the fisrt time after placing him with his amazing parents. he is 7 weeks now. Im nervous and excited. I hope I can get through the entire visit without becoming a complete wreck. I have a good relationship with his parents and get pictures etc through facebook and text messages but this will be our first face to face contact.

Any positive feedback would be nice.

Rachel Sonnier · January 2013

Welcome!! And how exciting, I hope that you guys have a great visit! The PP is right...the ladies here are all very friendly and helpful. Please post again afterwards to let us know how it goes! I love hearing open adoption stories. Good luck.

Dr.Loretta · January 2013

Of course we'll be nice! And anyone who isn't will get a stern talking to

We met up with DD's birthmom and birthgrandma when DD was 3 months old. Not gonna lie, it was awkward. We didn't know them that well, and DD had slept horribly the night before, so we were walking zombies. We were outdoors, it was hot, and we were worried DD had a cold.

BUT we had a nice time. They were so happy to see her, and us, and we had a good visit. And every visit after that has been even better. Now that DD is more interactive, they can do more things with her, and they love to share how much DD is like her birthmom.

IMO it's totally fine if you get emotional. This is a big deal, and some days are going to be harder than others. The fact that you have such an open relationship will probably help.

GL and let us know how it goes.

Ginny0211 · January 2013

My birthson is 11 years old and we have an open adoption. I still remember the first visit after placement. We visited when he was 2 weeks old. It was hard, but that visit is also a very precious memory for me and there was a mix of happy and sad tears that day. That first year was very hard and visits were very bitter sweet. Over time visits became easier and easier and less and less bitter sweet and now they are just sweet . Seeing him happy and thriving just makes me smile.

I hope you have a good visit with your birthson.

davidandheather · January 2013

Welcome. Please do come back and let us know how it goes. I am so thankful you found a great couple who would be open to open adoption so that you can continue to be a big part of little one's life. I hope this is the start of many more visits.

missred75 · January 2013

First of all, welcome to the board! We have all members of the adoption triad here and it's great to hear everyone's perspective.

I am sure that your upcoming visit will be very emotional and I'd think it's very normal to be nervous! It sounds like you're in a good situation with the adoptive parents, so I hope all goes smoothly for you. ::hugs::

dholsapp · January 2013

How exciting! Please update us on how it goes! Sending good thoughts your way!

MagickalNarwhal · January 2013

Welcome! I hope your visit goes well. I don't think there's any way around it being intense and emotional. Be super gentle with yourself and whatever feelings you have are totally fine. We'll be thinking about you, come back and let us know how it went!

IRR · January 2013

Welcome to the board. I am sure the AP's are just as nervous as you are and maybe even more so. I hope all goes smoothly and visits become easier over time. GL.

MagickalNarwhal · January 2013

IRR:
I am sure the AP's are just as nervous as you are and maybe even more so.

Oh yeah, I wanted to say that too! I was TERRIFIED that they would see us with him and regret their choice, judge our parenting, think we were doing things wrong, or that our son would either ONLY want to be held by them (because he missed the smell of his birthmom or his birthdad's voice) or would REFUSE to be held by them (which would have felt sad and awkward). I wanted so much to show how much we loved him without being a jerk about it, and it was an insanely hard balance to acheive. I also wanted to know how they were doing, so much, but I was scared to ask. I also had so much love and tenderness for them and carried so much sadness for the grief I imagined them to be experiencing. So yes, there will probably be emotions all over the place!

Ginger71 · January 2013

I have no advice but wanted to wish you lots of luck. I am sure it will be quite an emotinal day. We are hoping to build a relationship with our child's birth family....whenever we get matched thst is! I bet the aps are just as excited and nervous as you are. I bet you do just fine please keep us posted!

P.s welcone to the board....glad you are here:)

Art Teacher · January 2013

I hope you have a wonderful visit with your son. We had a great first visit with our daughter's birthmom and her family but I think we were all really nervous. We just hung out, played with DD, and talked. We took pictures, too. I think it's okay if you're nervous or if you get emotional. I know we were all emotional, especially that first visit.

Hope it all goes well!