TTTC. Help.

Whittyone12 · January 2013

No ladies I'm not crazy. I am not trying to have another for a while.

My good friend and coworker is though, and she is having a really hard time. She has been TTC for around 2 years. She has always been a very positive person about everything her fertility issues included. I'm really starting to worry about her. What can I do to help her get through this? I know there is nothing I can do to help her get pregnant, but maybe I can help her feel less discouraged?

CLeigh03 · January 2013

I would just be there for her to listen when she wants to talk and not much else.

My cousin in law has been going through an incredibly tough time TTC. She is an amazing woman and my heart aches for her. I never bring it up and simply sent her a handwritten note letting her know I'm there for her and that she is in my thoughts.

mmdailey · January 2013

I have a friend in the same situation and I was for awhile too. It helps that she's already positive about it. That being said, it's really a tough position. My doctor told me I had PCOS and would have little to no chance of conceiving. Even after round after round of Clomid, he said I still wasn't ovulating. I finally gave up trying after 3 years. It really helped to have lots of friends and family around during those difficult times. Then after a year of not trying, it just happened by chance. You can't really do anything but be super supportive and available. Let her talk it all out. Don't let her give up her positive outlook. There is still a possibility she can get pregnant despite fertility issues.

latnprincess · January 2013

Unless you've been there, there really isn't anything you can do or say. Its such an emotional roller coaster and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Its just one of those things unfortunately. Just be ready to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on if needed.

ccam · January 2013

latnprincess:
Unless you've been there, there really isn't anything you can do or say.nbsp;Its such an emotional roller coaster and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. nbsp;: nbsp;nbsp;Its just one of those things unfortunately. nbsp;Just be ready to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on if needed. nbsp;

I agree. There is pretty much nothing you can say that would prevent her from being discouraged. Just be there for her to talk to when she needs it.

Maizey06 · January 2013

Has she gone to a specialist? We had trouble getting pregnant and had to go through fertility treatments. I think one of the best things for me is that my friends were so great to ask me about it and let me open up about my frustrations. I had so many crying sessions by myself. Let her know you would be happy to be a friend she can cry to if wants.

Also, see if there are any events, conferences, yoga classes, etc. that are about fertility and offer to go with her

MoFree · January 2013

You're a very caring friend to be so concerned about her. All you can do is be a sympathetic ear and nonjudgmental listener. Please do not suggest that if only they would relax, stop trying or relate that your sister's best friend's next door neighbor had a successful pregnancy 5 years after thinking they would never conceive.

Whittyone12 · January 2013

Thanks ladies. I like the letter idea. I also thought about planning a girls night out. Go up to Indy go shopping and get our nails done and maybe go for drinks or something? I thought a night out might be a good distraction. Maybe give her an open opportunity to talk about it in a stress free environment?

ccam · January 2013

MoFree:
You're a very caring friend to be so concerned about her. All you can do is be a sympathetic ear and nonjudgmental listener. Please do not suggest that if only they would relax, stop trying or relate that your sister's best friend's next door neighbor had a successful pregnancy 5 years after thinking they would never conceive.

Haha... seriously!! Don't do that!

latnprincess · January 2013

ccam:
MoFree:
You're a very caring friend to be so concerned about her. All you can do is be a sympathetic ear and nonjudgmental listener. Please do not suggest that if only they would relax, stop trying or relate that your sister's best friend's next door neighbor had a successful pregnancy 5 years after thinking they would never conceive.
Haha... seriously!! Don't do that!

Agreed!

NerdyMama2 · January 2013

Let her know that you're there for her, listen to her vents, and be a good friend.

SpruceGrouse · January 2013

That is tough, I think if you are just there for her to listen if she wants to talk. My cousin has been TTC for a few years now and going through treatments with no luck. I feel so terrible for her because I know how badly she wants a baby and she would be an amazing mother. Sometimes life really isn't fair.

I hope your friend keeps positive and I hope she gets pregnant soon. I wish I knew what to say but if you are just being her friend, hopefully that will keep her spirits up.

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