Laboring at home...

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

So, I've heard that to help avoid coaxing of epidurals, and other unnecessary measures you should labor at home as long as you can.

My question is... (it may be a silly one) when do you know when it's time to go in? My little brother was born in the truck, and my mom's story literally scared me sh!tless when I was younger... I don't want to chance that happening. Lol

When did you feel it was time to head in?

tokenhoser · January 2013

I went in when I wanted to go in. I just knew it was time to head out, mostly when contractions were close together and the idea of the car sounded terrible.

This article is great: https://bellyupbaby.blogspot.com/2011/07/is-it-time-to-go-to-hospital.html

I arrived 10 cm dilated last time, but pushed for 90 minutes, so it was not a close call at all.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

Thanks for the link! I printed it! I always like to have articles and such to fall back on and read from time to time.

CallMeAl · January 2013

So, I think the best way for me to explain it to you is to paint you two pictures.

The first time we went to the hospital, I begged DH not to go. I was technically 5-1-1, but I was managing fine, and I just felt like it was too early. But DH was super, super stressed out and begged me to go, so I went.

Picture #1: We get to the ER entrance, where all women in labor go. I get out of the car, walk myself quite easily in to the ER, chat happily with the staff at the ER front desk, make some jokes, refuse a wheelchair, pause on the way up to L&D for a few contractions (really just breathing through them..again, feeling ok). I proceed to walk laps around the L&D floor for the next 8 hrs making minimal change, hanging out around 2 CM and 80% effaced. Consistent contrax every 5 min or so, but really no significant progress. They offer to break my water and admit me, but I stay true to the plan and go home to labor more. This was at about Noon. Labor at home for 1.5 hrs, things get intense, I tell DH we are going back to the hospital.

Fast forward to picture # 2. I am moaning LOUDLY through all my contrax on the way to the ER. I am NOT ok. We pull up to the ER, I am not talking. I am not smiling. I am somewhere else entirely in my head. There are no jokes. I want to strangle anyone who even looks at me. They say "wheelchair?" and I nod my head with gritted teeth and proceed to moan through contrax in a crowded elevator all the way to L&D. When we get to a room, I immediately strip completely naked, drop to all fours on the bed, and stay that way focusing HARD on getting through each contrax. When they check me, I was 7 CM, 90% effaced.

Sorry, that was a novel. But I wanted you to get how the two contrasted. The first time, DH now admits we went way too early. We'll know better the second time! Good luck!

sschwege · January 2013

As maddening as this answer is, most women just know. Trust your instincts, your body will tell you!

My son could have easily been born at home unassisted because I kept talking myself out of what my instincts were telling me. DD's labor was 17.5 hours, slow and steady. With DS's labor I had about 2-2.5 hours of 'real' contractions and he was in my arms. I kept telling myself it was too soon even though my body was telling me differently. By the time we got to triage and my MW went to check me DH could visibly see the head! When you think it's time to go, it's time to go!

aylafsu88 · January 2013

It seems silly to say this but you will know when it is time to go to the hospital. As a FTM I wondered the same thing. However, when I was in labor I knew when LO was about to come. My contractions were a bit sporadic and I had been laboring at home for @ 8 hours. I told my H and doula it was time to go to the hospital. They tried to tell me to wait a bit longer. I was dead set on leaving and we went to the hospital. My water broke and I delivered LO in less than 2 hours. Trust your body and your instincts as contraction timing is not always reliable. You will know when it it time to go to the hospital and when LO is almost here.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

Thanks for your responses! I guess I just need to trust myself when it comes time. My "list making, plan everything out" mind set goes nuts when I'm expecting. Especially now that I'm wanting to do this naturally, and hoping that I won't be in the hospital on bed rest like last time. Here's to hoping!

oliversmommy32912 · January 2013

You just know. That answer used to drive me NUTS when I was wondering when to go in but really you just KNOW.

For me it was when I wasn't excited anymore. It's the difference between "Hey maybe we should leave soon" and "Ohmygod we need to go!". Another good thing to go by is when the car ride sounds unbearable then it's time to go. For me that shift happened in a matter of minutes and I arrived at 8cm. I was a half hour away from the hospital.

dreadiemama · January 2013

Thank you so much for posting this! I've been curious of this myself. Also, not to sound facetious does that "you just know" include drive time? We are about an hour to an hour thirty from the hospital that I am planning to deliver at.

Mrs E in Oregon · January 2013

Mother's intuition is rarely wrong. But Drs often use the 5-1-1 rule. Go in when your contractions are 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long for atleast 1 hour. If your hospital is more than 30 minutes away, ask your doctor/midwife if this is a good judgement or if you should modify it.

mrshall10210 · January 2013

NCC74656:
In my Bradley class we were told 3-1-1...only my water broke to start labor so I got to be at the hospital the whole time. I wanted to labor at home but that wasn't really an option.

I could use some clarification on this, since you mentioned it. Even if you're planning on laboring at home as long as possible... If your water breaks, you definitely go? Even if you're not at 5-1-1 or feeling like it's "time to go"?

Also, this might be a stupid question, but does anyone worry about how LO is doing all that time that you're laboring at home? How do you know for sure that he/she is ok? DH is a nurse, so do you think he'd be able to listen from time to time with a stethoscope and tell anything? I'm afraid worrying will make me go before I need to.

tokenhoser · January 2013

If you get a Doppler, DH could check the heartrate with that.

I had no reason to assume anything was wrong. My water didn't break until the end at the hospital. My labour was of a normal length (started mildly at 11 am, went to the hospital at 10 pm). I had no health conditions. I simply didn't want to be told I couldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't move. I don't like the hospital much.

hamiltks10 · January 2013

My water did break as a first sign of labor...and I was group b strep positive. But I had done a ton of research, weighed the risks and made the decision to labor at home. Your doctors will tell you their recommendations or policys....you will read suggestions online. But when it comes down to it, you need to research for yourself and make a decision that is best for you. For me, the benefits of laboring at home outweighed the risks of the group b strep positive result and the strong possibility of unnecessary interventions.

And like others have said...I just knew. Reflecting back on it...there was a point where I told my husband that if I got to the hospital and wasn't far along, I would consider an epidural. I was probably in transition. But, we waited another hour before I knew for sure, without a doubt, it was time. I arrived at 10 centimeters, pushed through maybe 3 contractions and my son was born.

hope that helps... Good luck! Trust yourself!

nyki06 · January 2013

I'm a little worried about this time. My last labor was 27 hours long but my daughter was in a bad position and things were not ideal by any means. If this one is a more normal labor I have no idea how quick it will be. We are also an hour away from the hospital which makes me slightly nervous too.

sthomas1222 · January 2013

Bradley gave us signposts to look for. Basically when you're no longer joking, you've got your serious face on, and become obstinate is when it's time to go. I asked my OB a couple weeks ago when we discovered I was already 3-4cm and 50% effaced what she would prefer if something were to happen. I'm technically high risk since I have GD. She said once I hit 37 weeks to stay home as long as I can tolerate. No 5-1-1 or anything. Just stay home as long as you can handle it.

Do you know if your mom's labor was precipitous? Defined as 3 hours or less from onset of contractions. If so, then that's something you should definitely mention that to your MW/OB. They'll want to know that.

ETA: Last Friday I had contractions that were 5-1-1, it lasted about 5-6 hours. They were painful enough I needed to stop and breathe through them, sway and rock and moan. Couldn't doze between them. Finally passed out from exhaustion. Woke up and they were irregular. I knew, even though they were 5-1-1 that it just wasn't time to go. So, even though I'm a FTM I get when people say "you'll just know".

sthomas1222 · January 2013

mrshall10210:
NCC74656:
In my Bradley class we were told 3-1-1...only my water broke to start labor so I got to be at the hospital the whole time. I wanted to labor at home but that wasn't really an option.
I could use some clarification on this, since you mentioned it. Even if you're planning on laboring at home as long as possible... If your water breaks, you definitely go? Even if you're not at 5-1-1 or feeling like it's "time to go"?
Also, this might be a stupid question, but does anyone worry about how LO is doing all that time that you're laboring at home? How do you know for sure that he/she is ok? DH is a nurse, so do you think he'd be able to listen from time to time with a stethoscope and tell anything? I'm afraid worrying will make me go before I need to.

That depends on your provider. I've avoided asking my OB this question specifically b/c I know they want me to come in immediately if my water breaks. But I'm comfortable waiting for contractions to start for at least 12 hours before coming in. Especially if it's just a leak and not a full on gush.

As for worrying about LO during labor, I don't plan on continuous monitoring at the hospital so I don't worry about the lack of monitoring at home. Very rarely does a baby not tolerate labor.

PansyPants · January 2013

I went when contractions were just pasted my worst period cramps because I had this belief that I was one of the AH-MAZING women who was so awesome and wouldn't even realize I was at 10 cm.

I arrived at 4 cm but even so, the car ride was extremely uncomfortable.

Joyfullnoise · January 2013

We are planning a homebirth this time because I had no idea when we should have gone in the 1st time, I had only 4 hours of labor, arrived at 10cm and had to basically cross my legs until they got us a room (he was delivered 28 minutes after we got there).

I definitely think speed is the anomaly though. My sister had a baby 5 months after me and planned based upon my L&D and got an epi after 12 hours - I think it set her up to expect fast and there are no gurantees.

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