Intro — The Bump
Military Families

Intro

Hey All,

I have been a Navy wife for 2 years and H will be going on his first deployment soon.  We are so lucky that he will be gone only for 6mths and will be in a very safe location where we can Skype often.  I hope to get to know everyone and get some advice on how to adjust to life without H around! 

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Re: Intro

  • Welcome! I find that it usually takes me the first month to get out of my "funk" once DH deploys. You will find you're routine in no time! GL!
    TTC our first Navy baby! Me:27 DH:30, together since 8/2003, Married on 7/2006
    9/26/10 stopped BCP and started TTC.
    9/2011 referred to RE. All blood work normal and DH's SA=normal results
    11/2011 HSG=both tubes clear
    One natural (monitored) cycle of Clomid, 50mg 2/2012= BFN
    Getting ready for first IUI, 3/2012 received orders to Japan! (postponed IUI)
    5/2012 Moved to Japan, fought Tricare for months over referral (no fertility treatment on our military base) for Japanese RE out in town!
    8/2012 Started seeing new RE
    9/2012, post coital test= hostile cervical fluid, (finally) moving on with first IUI!
    9/29/2012 IUI #1+trigger= BFN
    10/27/2012 IUI #2+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger= BFN
    11/28/2012 IUI #3+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger= BFN
    12/28/2012 IUI#4+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger=BFN
    2/1/2013 IUI#5+injectables+trigger=BFN
    3/2013 IUI#6+injectables+trigger=???
    image
  • Welcome!  I'm an AF wife and my husband deploys frequently.  In fact we are about to start another one here soon.  I will give you two pieces of advice that have worked for me:

    1) Count Up the number of days he is gone instead of counting down. Return dates change often and the lengths of deployments often get extended and this way you don't get to day 0 and find out that he wont be home for awhile longer.  Counting up can also be a way of self assurance that you can do it. By counting up, you can tell yourself  "I've made it 97 days without him here, I can make it the rest of the way."

    2) Find something from your normal routine with your husband and hold on to it.  Something that my husband and I always do after dinner is to complete that days crossword puzzle out of the newspaper together.  The first time he deployed he was pleasantly surprised when he started getting envelopes with a cut out from the newspaper of a half completed crossword puzzle.  Whenever he received one (I mailed them daily, but the mail takes awhile) he would finish it that night before bed.  It gave us both a little sense of normality during the time of separation.  And we have done that on every deployment since then.

    The best of luck to you and your husband during his first deployment.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker image
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  • imageTomHope2011:


    2) Find something from your normal routine with your husband and hold on to it.  Something that my husband and I always do after dinner is to complete that days crossword puzzle out of the newspaper together.  The first time he deployed he was pleasantly surprised when he started getting envelopes with a cut out from the newspaper of a half completed crossword puzzle.  Whenever he received one (I mailed them daily, but the mail takes awhile) he would finish it that night before bed.  It gave us both a little sense of normality during the time of separation.  And we have done that on every deployment since then.

    The best of luck to you and your husband during his first deployment.

    This is adorable and I imagine your husband loved it so much! My hubs helps fold laundry every night but not sure he would appreciate that ;) He LOVES sudoku so I might have to learn how to do it and start this tradition. Thanks for the great idea!


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  • Hi and welcome.  

    I second the advice to count up instead of counting down.  There is nothing worse than adding time to a count down when there are extensions.  Plus, it's good to look back and see how far you've made it.  Remember, your attitude toward deployment will dictate your reaction to it and that of your children.  

    Stay busy.  Get involved in the family groups.  There are good ones and bad ones, but at least you will be meeting people.  Meet some of those ladies for lunch or dinner here and there.  Have movie night.  Spending time with people who understand who you're feeling is really helpful.  

    Also, give your self things to look forward to.  It really help to break up the time.  I always have something small each week and something larger once a month.  For the smaller weekly things, I'll have dinner with a friend, take the kids to a ball game, rent a movie and invite people over or something along those lines.  For something larger once a month, I'll take a small road trip to visit friends or family, take the kids camping, or get a massage.  

    There are several of us around here who are old pros.  Please feel free to ask any questions you have or just vent.   

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  • imageCaliVal:
    siggy test
    ??? Why didn't you just go back to a thread you already posted in and see if it changed?

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • imageCaliVal:
    siggy test

    You don't have to do a siggy test.  It will show up in your old posts.  

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