Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Need Breastfeeding Help
DD wasborn at 35.5 weeks and has been doing well. It was rough at first, but keep trying!
DD had a lot of latch issues and we had to supplement for a while but now she is EBF. My advice is to surround yourself with help. Keep seeing a LC, and attend LLL meetings if you can. The LLL here was my saving grace. I would not be where I am without their support.
www.llli.org
www.kellymom.com
GL, Hang in there!
I'm a little surprised the LC didn't try to keep you from using a bottle. I had to use a cup (yes, a cup) to supplement in the beginning to avoid nipple confusion.
I would just continue to be persistent in trying to get him to latch. It's hard and can be very frustrating, but it will be worth it for so many reasons once you get him on you...
G/L
thank u for ur replies! good to know im not alone
the LC and i really butted heads at the hospital. she seemed to have her own agenda. i dunno. i was watching him feed the first day, he did great and had his poopy pee dipes. then the next wasnt so hot and it went downhill. i was a little nervous and kept asking questions like, is my colostrum enuf. the LC made me feel stupid and was frsutrated with me. then i finally told her to please watch him "feed" before i leave. she tried the nipple shield and said if he is doing his job, there should be a milky residue on the shiled when he pulls away. there wasnt. the nipple shield didnt work. i even got one for hte house since and it hasnt worked.
seh watched some more. and saw that he wasnt taking anything in and wasnt sucking or doing what he had to. she told me that these late pretermers (born btwn 34 and 37 weeks) are sometimes known as the great pretenders. they come out like gangbusters and do a good job but then it doesnt work out so well. they dont have the strength or energy to suck and they are sleepy. their systems are not as refined she was saying. i believe that. i just wish she wouldve believed me and my instinct that he wasnt feeding right. so she immediately told me to stop breastfeeding for 2 days and strictly give the bottle every 1-3 hours b/c he needs it - he was only bout 5 lbs. i used similac for those few days til my milk came in and then rented a hospital grade pump. since then ive just been pumping and giving him milk from a bottle and sometimes will give him formula at night if he wants more.
every practice session at the breast is heartbreaking to me. i just cant see how he will eventually suck. i called another LC to come to my house. paid a bunch of money and just didnt like her advice. she brought this SNS system which adoptive mothers use to experience breastfeeding. it made me feel worse. its thise tube u tape to ur niple which is attached to a bottle around ur neck. u basically trick ur child into thinking he is breastfeeding. i havent used it since she came by b/c its disheartening.
for those who got their kids to breastfeed - how? u just kept them at the breast no matter how much they cried and fought u? and then gave htem a bottle of pumped Breast milk? or formula?
i just feel like veryday that goes by is one day further away from breastfeeding...from my breast. and what am i gonna do when hte pump rental for hte month is over...
haha no worries at all. well, she has come down with a virus and is not allowed here yet!! so i havent even seen her yet. Im glad she didnt insist to come over b/c esp with an early baby, i need the house germ free. i will update that story!
right now im trying to post a pic of me and my little one and its coming out huge. hmm. any tips?
Your situation sounds very similar to mine. DS was born at 37 weeks and we started off BF fairly well (but with a nipple shield). I weaned him off that at 6 weeks but he wasn't able to empty my breasts completely and I was getting chronic plugged ducts and 2 cases of mastitis so had to pump anyways after each feeding. I also had to return to work so a bottle was also introduced at that time. It got to the point where DS would uncontrollably cry when we attempted BFing so now I have resigned to EPing. It has been working well and DS seems much happier (alot less crying). I completely understand how frustrated you are!