No men in the delivery room

bigbootyjudi · January 2013

I work with some nutjobs, for real, but yesterday...well, I just have to tell you...

We're all talking about labor/babies/placentas with this doctor whose wife is having their first baby in the summer. We're (a bunch of 60+ year olds and my "old pro" of a self at this whole motherhood thing) giving him tips, at his request. This nurse, who is about 30ish, doesn't have a boyfriend, and doesn't have any kids just kept saying, "Well if it hurts so much, why do people do it? If it's so uncomfortable, why do it? You do all of that for nothing!"

And we're all like....yea, nothing...ya know, just to create a human life, but NBD.

Then, she brings up this tradition (?) they have in her family. Apparently, since her great great grandparents, the SO/H/BD/DF isn't allowed in the room during the birth. The guy stands outside in the hall/waiting room until the baby is born, the mom has showered, and "looks presentable." So, basically, the guy stands outside for about an hour after his kid is born while the mom recoops and showers or whatever, and then he can come in when she's all done up.

I asked her if any guy has ever said, "Eff that!" and she said yes, but because his wife was the patient, she told her doctor to absolutely, under no circumstances, let him in. They were divorced a few years later.

I thought this was nuts....I mean, I'd be mad if SO didn't want to be there, so I definitely couldn't imagine banning him from entering just because I was full of sweat and my hair wasn't curled. I mean, you just gave birth, FFS.

Am I the only one that thinks this is insane? Any crazy "traditions" or stories you've heard of?

megmb24 · January 2013

Heeeeeeck no. I didn't even want DF to go to the bathroom while I was in labor. I told him if he left me for a second I would hurt him. My grandmother told me that while all of her 6 children were born, my grandfather would get drunk at a bar down the street and someone would go get him when the baby was born. She said fathers were not allowed in the room then. I can't believe people still do that now.

amaite · January 2013

My grandmother thought it was crazy that my husband was going to be in the delivery room with me. But, she is 90 and also thinks it's "a racket" that my husband changes diapers. She had 7 children and says my grandfather never changed a single diaper.

ks3pink · January 2013

I sure hope none of the women in her family ever need a c/s. Between the tape wax down there that was unbearable and being catheterized and getting the epidural DH saw me go through a lot. Then afterwards he had to walk me to the bathroom, ya know the next morning, help me on and off the toilet, help me shower and saw those huge ass pads laid under me before I could even get up. Yeah, there was no "being presentable" for weeks. Obviously that chick has no idea.

krissi813 · January 2013

My DH saw EVERYTHING and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He "by accident" even watched the episiotomy and still gets this horrible look on his face when it is mentioned, but I'm pretty sure he would not have changed a thing. I cannot imagine doing that without his support.

exc1tedforbaby1 · January 2013

I wasn't Allowed out of Bed for 2 days after my delivery. And didn't end up showering more than a quick sponge bath myself the whole time I was there. I lost a lot of blood and was too weak and there was no one to help me. So the idea of SO not being there the whole time... Screw that.

lady_tytah · January 2013

My dad wasn't allowed in egger room when I was born. I think that's only because it was an emergency c section. He was there during the labor, some 20 hrs worth.
I'm sure my mom would have gone bonkers if he hadn't.
My hubs was there for both babies. He wouldn't have it any other way. As long as he doesn't see the after birth. He almost threw up with Nene.

ccam · January 2013

I just talked to DH about this and he said he wouldn't change a thing about our delivery. He also laughed and said, "showered and presentable...I saw you sh!t on the table!"...hahaha! No shame.

bigbootyjudi · January 2013

ccam:
I just talked to DH about this and he said he wouldn't change a thing about our delivery. He also laughed and said, "showered and presentable...I saw you sh!t on the table!"...hahaha! No shame.

Yea, SO was holding a leg. They told me to push and I guess he was curious as to what I was pushing out since the baby had already been born...and he definitely saw the placenta. A few days later, he was like, "Do you know what...that thing...looked like?" Really, how could I? Lol. I was informed it was blue and super veiny. Sexy, sexy. Then he helped me into the shower, where I preceded to pee all over the shower floor, while he was standing in the shower because I was still a little numb from the epi and couldn't help it. Presentable, totes. LOL.

amaite · January 2013

DH took a picture of the placenta.

twoitalians · January 2013

ccam:
I just talked to DH about this and he said he wouldn't change a thing about our delivery. He also laughed and said, "showered and presentable...I saw you sh!t on the table!"...hahaha! No shame.

Yeah, DH told me how many times I crapped on the table and how he saw DS's head come out a little and go back in SEVERAL times. I guess he and the nurse joked that he kept forgetting things like "oh gotta go get my wallet" and "left my watch in there too." He also spent an hour outside in the lobby talking with my parents in my early stages of labor but not while I was pushing. He knew what was coming with the canoe-sized pads too. He saw those in the birthing class.

VeniVidiScripsi · January 2013

Wow. No way! I was so grateful to have DH there with me. Could not have done it without him!

Tula214 · January 2013

You do all that for NOTHING?! Wtf is wrong with that bish? I just... I can't comment further on that.

If my SO didn't see me until I showered, he wouldn't have seen me until the next night. I only showered because my SO convinced me I'd feel a little better after. He was right. Oh, and I still looked a mess after my shower anyway lol.

Tash13 · January 2013

I would pity the doctor that would try to stop DH from being present during his child's birth. He even talked about catching DD but it didn't end up happening.

And besides that, who wants to jump in the shower and get all fancied up right after birth? All I wanted was some mesh panties and a hair tie.

NerdyMama2 · January 2013

That's crazy. DH was deployed during DD's birth but if he wasn't he would be right there with me!

latnprincess · January 2013

My Dh would have been mad if he wasn't allowed in there by me or anyone else. He was definitely present and I couldn't have done it without him. He's definitely my rock in that situation. He cut the cord too!

Those people are in lala land. And poor mother who has to do all that by herself afterwards!

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