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Long overnight

princesa2423princesa2423 member
in Single Parents

Hola ladies!

 I have a q. My XH and I have been communicating decently regarding visitation for DD, until recently. A court order is in place for 8 hours every Saturday, and to start an overnight, once a month, 5pm - 12 noon the end of next month. I wanted to try a 12 hour overnight before then as opposed to jumping to 19 hours suddenly, but he wants the 19 hours now, and won't do any less. Do you think this is excessive for a child who isn't accustomed to being away for more than 9 hrs? She's still BFing, refuses bottles, and INSISTENT on nursing before bed. I just don't want to throw her into too much too soon. As it is, according to him, she isn't being 100% herself with him either (he's seen how she is at home). I just don't want to traumatize her. Any and all thoughts appreciated. 

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Re: Long overnight

  • sunflwr0911sunflwr0911 member

    We started 72hr overnights when my LO was 13mo.  He was still nursing every 3-4 hours, woke up to nurse 2-3 times a night, and had never been away from me.  My XH had never gotten up with him the whole 9 months we were together after LO was born.  I was terrified to say the least.  

     LO and I both made it through and have every other weekend since.  It still sucks, though, and LO is very difficult when I get him back.  It does get easier.

    Does your LO take a sippy?  If so, your XH can give her that in place of a bottle.  Try to see if he can stick to her routine as closely as possible.  If she has a lovey or something else similar, send it with her so she'll have something from home.  This may sound crazy, but I slept with my DS's lovey and even stuffed it in my bra (in the house!) so he could feel like I was near when he slept. Does the judge know that she doesn't take bottles??

     

    ETA: you should join us on Sept11! 

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  • blueyedsweety28blueyedsweety28 member
    I think you should do whatever you feel is appropriate for your daughter! not just because your ex is INSISTENT on it being his way .. 
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  • preggersin2011preggersin2011 member

    I did a lot of research on different state laws in case LO's father wanted 50/50 custody or more than just visitation once a week. Some states have different age break downs and some overnights are day-night, not night-day. I would do post nap  to breakfast the next day as the 19 hrs, and that way LO has time to adjust before needing to go to bed for the night. 

    there have been times when LO has had to stay or be taken care of by a stranger, it is hard for me but i didn't have any other options... she eventually goes to bed and wakes up fine.  Plenty of babies who start DC refuse a bottle their first few days but they adjust and won't let themselves starve. 

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  • mom2onemom2one member

    imageblueyedsweety28:
    I think you should do whatever you feel is appropriate for your daughter! not just because your ex is INSISTENT on it being his way .. 

     

    The problem with THIS thinking is that there is a court order in place and so she doesn't have a choice if her ex doesn't agree to less time.

    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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