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September 2013 Moms
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Chinese thoughts on pregnancy

AppleMuffinsAppleMuffins member
in September 2013 Moms
My MIL is Chinese and lives with Dh and I. We just told her that I'm pregnant. It's still really early, but we want the support of our family, even if something goes wrong. She said we can't tell anyone for 2 months (which is fine since I wasn't planning on anyone but close family knowing), and that I can't drink cold stuff! What?! I'm not Chinese so this is news to me, and I'm not a fan. How else am I supposed to drink milk? Warm, or even room temperature milk is gross. She also lives with us, which is going to make this harder. I'm going to have to sneak things when she isn't home, or while I'm out of the house. I want to be respectful of her culture, but I also don't want her superstitions to get in the way of medically sound advice, such as needing calcium. Plus, if this ends up a sticky baby I'll be pregnant through the summer and there's no way I'll make it through without ice cream, Popsicles, and cold drinks. Does anyone else know of any other Chinese ideas about pregnancy I should be aware of so I'm not caught off guard?
One DD born 9/23/13.
We're one and done!
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Re: Chinese thoughts on pregnancy

  • aesfaesf member
    It might be because she's older too. Parents forget that 2030 years may not feel like a long time, but it is
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  • dragonfly711dragonfly711 member
    You have to drink water. What did she say about that? Yeah must be from her time. Can she go to a Dr visit with you to hear things straight from him what is ok?
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    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
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  • PubliusPublius member

    imageaesf:
    It might be because she's older too. Parents forget that 2030 years may not feel like a long time, but it is

    I don't think this is an old thing.  Chinese people here have been freaking out when a friend of mine in her 3rd tri tries to order an ice water.  To the point where waiters won't bring it to her.  It's just Chinese culture.

    OP-tell your MIL what my friend has been telling people: "I know that in Chana you do X, Y, and Z, but I'm not Chinese". Is your MIL expecting you to do the normal Chinese month long confinement after the baby's born too?

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  • kje120kje120 member
    Tell her that while you respect her opinion you will be following your doctor's advice as far as the pregnancy goes.
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  • ravenclaw1ravenclaw1 member
    imagekestock120:
    Tell her that while you respect her opinion you will be following your doctor's advice as far as the pregnancy goes.


    Agreed. I wouldn't be ok with those "rules", personally.
    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
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  • TristaD81TristaD81
    What does your H have to say about it? I think you should really enlist his help in talking to his mother. If she is already telling you what you can and can't do, I can only imagine how much more intrusive it will get after LO is born. I think now, in the beginning, is the best time to set some groundrules and boundaries. GL!
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  • AppleMuffinsAppleMuffins member
    She doesn't speak English so taking her with to the doctor won't help. As far as water goes, it just has to be room temp or warm. I have a feeling I'm going to have to pick and choose my battles, so at least for now I'll just not have cold things when she's around. From what I've been googling, there is NO WAY I'm going to go a month without showering, washing my hair, or brushing my teeth after the baby is born, nor will I drink the soup stuff that sits on the stove unrefrigerated for weeks. And if she tries to give me tea, I'll have to pass on it because I'll have no idea what she has in it. I'll definitely have H talk with her if anything she tells me contradicts what a doctor says. I know she raised two healthy babies with her methods, and I'm willing to try to compromise and try things, but I'm not going to put my future child's or my health at risk to make her happy.
    One DD born 9/23/13.
    We're one and done!
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