Is it in my head? overly sensitive?

honeydew01 · January 2013

So I look way younger than my age and before I was pregnant I received *lovely* comments ALL the time. Last year, I was asked by the costco sample lady if my parents were there because they don't let you sample things without an adult...so you get the picture..I look young. I know I'll appreciate and be thankful when I am older but constantly being mistaken for a teenager when I am in my 30s is annoying.

Last night we were at the grocery store and I was waiting at the deli place for our cheese when this woman appeared and she wouldn't stop staring at me and I assume my huge stomach. She literally wouldn't stop so I turned around and started talking to my DH, and DH said to just ignore her. When we got our cheese and turned around, she gave me a half smile...

A minute later we walk away from the deli place and these 2 other women are walking towards us and they both stare at me and mumbled something as they passed us. I can't stop thinking that they think I am some teenager who has gotten knocked up...

DH says who cares what they think but I feel annoyed and it's probably my hormones talking but I really want to tell them "stare and judge all you want, I am in my 30s and been married for 5 years..."

I told my brother about it last night and he burst into laughter and said he could totally see that..

I'm afraid one of these days if people's stares get to me I may say something mean to them...

Am I overly sensitive? are the hormones talking here?

lynn3yb00 · January 2013

If you are overly sensitive, then so am I.

I am 20 (almost 21) and before I got KU, I was constantly told that I wasn't old enough to even need tampons (so that would put me as looking like a 10yr old I guess). My height doesn't help my case because I am only 4'10". DH gets annoyed with it too because people look at him like he is a pedifile, so I can assure you it's not the hormones.

If you say something mean, then you do. Those people have no right to look at you and judge you like they probably are, and karma will get them one way or another.

honeydew01 · January 2013

lynn3yb00:
If you are overly sensitive, then so am I.
I am 20 (almost 21) and before I got KU, I was constantly told that I wasn't old enough to even need tampons (so that would put me as looking like a 10yr old I guess). My height doesn't help my case because I am only 4'10". DH gets annoyed with it too because people look at him like he is a pedifile, so I can assure you it's not the hormones.
If you say something mean, then you do. Those people have no right to look at you and judge you like they probably are, and karma will get them one way or another.

That's our issue too. I am 5 feet and DH is 6'2" if not 6'3" and his hair has started going gray too. We are only 3.5 years apart! but the way people look at us, I am pretty sure they think he's a pedifile as well..

horsevaulter · January 2013

Wow, that would get annoying... I see no harm in putting people in their places when needed

Maybe you will feel better if you say something mean! LOL

shibby00 · January 2013

Honestly you need to let it go. You cannot control other people, only your reaction to them.

mcooper014 · January 2013

How do you know for sure what these people are actually thinking if they didn't say anything to you and why do you care so much about what strangers are maybe thinking? I think you are being a bit sensitive.

honeydew01 · January 2013

shibby00:
Honestly you need to let it go. You cannot control other people, only your reaction to them.

That's what DH says too, but it gets so annoying, and I used to be a lot better at letting go but now that I am pregnant, it's really hard. I am already miserable from the weight and the backache and constant need to use the restroom and then encountering people and their stares gets to me.

Here is an example, we were at the Mediterranean store (this is few years ago) and these two older ladies were shopping and one turned to the other and in the language I am fluent in (but DH is not) said "are these two lovers or father/daughter?" thinking that neither of us would understand. DH didn't know what was going on and why I had turned red, but when I went to pay for our stuff, I made sure to thank the cashier in Arabic and loud to make sure the two ladies heard me. I know it's childish but it's annoying...I wish I was better at letting go..

lkm2006 · January 2013

I'm 24 but I look younger than that. I'm not going to lie, I had a really hard time when my rings no longer fit with my last pregnancy [i was 22]. I ended up getting them stuck because I was avoiding taking them off.

Overall, it's okay to be senstive about it, I know I still am, but like the other PP said, you can't control what other people think. You will make yourself go crazy wondering what is going through other people's mind! Now if they comment on it, then go off!

Mrs Babs · January 2013

lynn3yb00:
If you are overly sensitive, then so am I.
I am 20 (almost 21) and before I got KU, I was constantly told that I wasn't old enough to even need tampons (so that would put me as looking like a 10yr old I guess). My height doesn't help my case because I am only 4'10". DH gets annoyed with it too because people look at him like he is a pedifile, so I can assure you it's not the hormones.
If you say something mean, then you do. Those people have no right to look at you and judge you like they probably are, and karma will get them one way or another.

I went through the SAME thing with my first baby. I was 23 and married but I am 4'9" and look very young so anytime we would walk together (when I was visibly pregnant) he got the worst dirty looks. I feel like I look older now with my second baby (still short but older face) so we don't get the weird looks as much anymore.

sdemilio1231 · January 2013

The same thing happens to me all the time. Before I was pregnant people would ask me why I wasn't in school if I was out during the day. It does get super annoying!

Abeja1226 · January 2013

I understand. I don't have my rings on anymore due to some swelling and I'm afraid they'll have to get cut off if I leave them on. I'm 26 but look like im about 16. I find myself saying "my husband" a lot while having conversations with people. But that doesn't stop the stares, I just try to ignore it. Someone actually thought I was DDs sister the other day, I just laughed but it did sort of annoy me.

mrs.birdie · January 2013

When I was full term with my DD, my fingers started to swell so I couldn't wear my wedding rings. I was actually stopped by an older woman in the mall who told me I needed to do the right thing and give my baby up for adoption so it would have a better life. She continued to tell me how sinful it was for me to have a child out of wedlock. I could not believe she actually said that to me.

honeydew01 · January 2013

mrs.birdie:
When I was full term with my DD, my fingers started to swell so I couldn't wear my wedding rings. I was actually stopped by an older woman in the mall who told me I needed to do the right thing and give my baby up for adoption so it would have a better life. She continued to tell me how sinful it was for me to have a child out of wedlock. I could not believe she actually said that to me.

Yikes! what did you say back?I'm afraid I'd come unglued... the thing is, I feel like I can tell that's exactly what these people are thinking too they just haven't spoken it to me yet..(I used to get comments sometimes daily before I was pregnant, but now they just stare and don't say anything..)

nyki06 · January 2013

We can both be overly sensitive together! I am 24 and have been married for almost 4 years. I had my daughter at 22 after almost 2 years of marriage. I haven't been able to wear my ring pretty much since I got pregnant the first time because it was tight to begin with and then add a little swelling and it got too uncomfortable. I ALWAYS get questioned about my age. When I was 21 I worked at the local middle school and was volunteering for the 6th grade activity night. One of the chaperones wasn't going to let me in because I didn't have a wrist band on.... I just about died.

Now that I'm pregnant again and always have my toddler with me wherever I go I constantly get that look from everyone that says "Where were your parents when you were being so promiscuous? It's awkward. This past summer I was carrying my one year old around and an old man at the coffee shop asked me if I was enjoying my summer break from high school. At least I'm not in middle school anymore, YES! Most of it doesn't bother me that much anymore but I will admit that when my husband and I went bowling the other day I heard the high school girls next to us making comments about "keeping your legs closed". I immediately assumed they were talking about me and I did let it bother me.

Everyone thinks it's so awesome too! Sorry, I'd rather not look prepubescent right now. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go from looking like I'm 15 to 65 overnight.

gfam23 · January 2013

mrs.birdie:
When I was full term with my DD, my fingers started to swell so I couldn't wear my wedding rings. I was actually stopped by an older woman in the mall who told me I needed to do the right thing and give my baby up for adoption so it would have a better life. She continued to tell me how sinful it was for me to have a child out of wedlock. I could not believe she actually said that to me.

whoa.

mrs.birdie · January 2013

honeydew01:
mrs.birdie:
When I was full term with my DD, my fingers started to swell so I couldn't wear my wedding rings. I was actually stopped by an older woman in the mall who told me I needed to do the right thing and give my baby up for adoption so it would have a better life. She continued to tell me how sinful it was for me to have a child out of wedlock. I could not believe she actually said that to me.
Yikes! what did you say back?I'm afraid I'd come unglued... the thing is, I feel like I can tell that's exactly what these people are thinking too they just haven't spoken it to me yet..(I used to get comments sometimes daily before I was pregnant, but now they just stare and don't say anything..)

I told her something along the lines of "thank you for the advice and I would be sure to let my husband know."

msf11 · January 2013

Here is a story and I will explain my point at the end. Today I went to Target with my two year old. She picked out the finishing touches to her outfit... a mismatched sweater and her slippers. It's cold out but her feet didn't touch the ground because we went from house to car to store cart and the reverse.

The lady that sells boots cosmetics made a comment about her wearing slippers and not boots because it is cold out and a judgemental question about me letting her pick her outfit.

Honestly, there are people that will judge you no matter what. F em. First, they don't have enough interesting things going on in their lives if they are bothering to take the time to notice and second those are the ones that have the most skelatons in their closet.

Next time just smile and call your husband Daddy! F with their heads a bit!

Happy2BPregnant · January 2013

At least you don't look old for your age. My poor cousin (who is 9 months older than me) looks older for her age. Recently, she was in a wedding and the make-up artist thought she was the mother of the bride. She is only 28.

People may just be staring at you because you're a cute pregnant lady. I feel like old ladies stare and smile at me more since I've been pregnant.

shibby00 · January 2013

OP I get it, trust me. I'm 30 but look much younger. I get carded every single time I buy alcohol and got lots of looks when KU with DD. but I didn't care. Those people know nothing about my life or my marriage, or my college education, or my career. I don't give a crap if they think I'm 16 and pregnant. As far as anyone making an actual comment to me, I'm pretty sure I'd laugh in their face. Stupid is as stupid does. But I have a pretty serious b!tch face on when I'm in public (or so I've been told) so I don't get many comments at all, lol. Seriously, let it go. Life is way too short to care what stupid strangers think of you.

guilletskichuk · January 2013

shibby00:
OP I get it, trust me. I'm 30 but look much younger. I get carded every single time I buy alcohol and got lots of looks when KU with DD. but I didn't care. Those people know nothing about my life or my marriage, or my college education, or my career. I don't give a crap if they think I'm 16 and pregnant. As far as anyone making an actual comment to me, I'm pretty sure I'd laugh in their face. Stupid is as stupid does. But I have a pretty serious b!tch face on when I'm in public (or so I've been told) so I don't get many comments at all, lol. Seriously, let it go. Life is way too short to care what stupid strangers think of you.

I could have written this myself. Thanks shibby! Totally agree with everything you said (except that I don't usually say what's on my mind. I just ignore and go on with my life. Who cares what other people think?)

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