November 2011 Moms

Need sleep training help!

We desperately need to do sleep training!  DS has been screaming when we put him in his crib for the past 2 weeks now.  Its weird because he'll nap great at daycare.  They put him on a cot, fully awake and will fall asleep for 2 hours (of course no naps at home though).  At home, we're lucky to get him to sleep by 10:00pm lately, and its been as late as 1:00am.  He's slept in our bed twice last week.  He'll fall asleep on us in the rocking chair, and just wakes up screaming when we try put him in his crib.  I'm considering trying out the Ferber method.  Or does anyone know of a good method for 14 month olds?

Re: Need sleep training help!

  • Oh man, that sounds tough! My first DD was the same way. She slept on us for 9 months, never once was set down... not sure how we survived looking back! We did CIO. I tried Feber and going in to calm her down, but when I left she'd get more upset than she already was. I started with the normal bedtime routine and then when it was time, laid her down and said, "night, night". She of course screamed. The first 2 days it was 1-2 hours before 2 naps and bedtime. The third night, I laid her down and she was out! I thought it was a miracle! She still cried for about 2 weeks, but only 5-10 minutes and went from waking every 2 hours at night to sleeping 13 hours!!!!!!! With my second DD I have done a modified CIO. I go in every 5 min and try to rock her again, if she fights me, I lay her down in her crib and leave for another 5 min. That's usually all it takes for her and the next time I go in she relaxes and after I rock her for 5 min or so she'll lay down without crying. Good Luck!!!! Also teething could be happening right now. When both of my girls get teeth in, they usually wake a ton and don't want me to set them down at all! 
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  • I should add with my first DD I only expected her to sleep for 6 hours. So she went to bed and I didn't go in for 6 hours. Any time after the 6 hour mark, I'd go in as much as she needed. After the third night, she was sleeping 13 hours, so it worked out great. :)
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  • Thanks for your input.  DS used to go to sleep perfectly...bottle, rock for a couple minutes and lay down in crib awake.  I just don't know what happened!  As for teething, we've tried Tylenol and teething tablets, and neither are helping him sleep better.  Ugh it's SO frustrating!  How old was your DD when you did CIO?  I feel like DS will get more upset when I leave like you mentioned.

  • My DD was a fantastic sleeper; my DS was the opposite. We did CIO with him and the first 2 days were heart wrenching, but it gets better. We also would go in and soothe him after 10 minutes, then 20 minutes after that if needed. The thing is they need schedules. Keep him as close to the same schedule as possible. If our schedule gets changed, DS can take up to 2 weeks of fighting sleep (and me) to get back on track.

    Things to think about: teething makes sleep training worse, and babies are dealing with separation anxiety from now until 15 months. I would also ask to be shown what the child care provider does exactly to put your LO down and minic that for naps at home. What happens before nap? Is there a snack given? Certain words said? Quiet play time for 15 minutes before naptime?

    Babies also know how to push their parent's buttons. When they know that you will always come running to help soothe them, they will always use you as the sleep crutch. Try to get your LO to use a different, acceptable sleep crutch (toy, music or blanket).  With my LO, I only show up if he's been crying for an extended period of time (15-20 minutes) or his crying changes to the next level, but below hysteria.

    Good Luck! I feel for you!

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  • We (finally) had our one year checkup this week and the pedi said to take the bottle away and to let him CIO.

    DS1 was off the bottle at 8 months with no issues and slept every night through the night since he was 5 weeks old. DS2 is so different!

    I'm hoping that it will only take a few nights of crying to break our bad habits... we've been rushing in to comfort him/give him more milk/etc off and on from 7:30-11pm for as long as I can remember. It's bad.

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  • We tried 3 minutes, then 5, then 10 minute intervals tonight. The crying seemed to get worse when I went in there, but he was asleep after an hour! I'm sold on Ferber!!

      imagesedl1lau:
      We tried 3 minutes, then 5, then 10 minute intervals tonight. The crying seemed to get worse when I went in there, but he was asleep after an hour! I'm sold on Ferber!!

      This is approach we also took. Keep with it and I promise it will work. It was also better when we didn't make eye contact, and I didn't talk, just shushed and rubbed her back. Stay strong, mama!  

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    1. imagesedl1lau:

      Thanks for your input.  DS used to go to sleep perfectly...bottle, rock for a couple minutes and lay down in crib awake.  I just don't know what happened!  As for teething, we've tried Tylenol and teething tablets, and neither are helping him sleep better.  Ugh it's SO frustrating!  How old was your DD when you did CIO?  I feel like DS will get more upset when I leave like you mentioned.

       

      She was 10 months when we did CIO. I've also found for both of my girls that ibuprofen helps much more than tylenol for teething... just in case you haven't tried it! 

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    2. imagegracefulruby33:

        imagesedl1lau:
        We tried 3 minutes, then 5, then 10 minute intervals tonight. The crying seemed to get worse when I went in there, but he was asleep after an hour! I'm sold on Ferber!!

        This is approach we also took. Keep with it and I promise it will work. It was also better when we didn't make eye contact, and I didn't talk, just shushed and rubbed her back. Stay strong, mama!  

        We stuck with this rule, too: no eye contact! 

        Sed1: how are things going the last two nights?  Progress?

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      1. imageChan4dra04:
        imagegracefulruby33:

          imagesedl1lau:
          We tried 3 minutes, then 5, then 10 minute intervals tonight. The crying seemed to get worse when I went in there, but he was asleep after an hour! I'm sold on Ferber!!

          This is approach we also took. Keep with it and I promise it will work. It was also better when we didn't make eye contact, and I didn't talk, just shushed and rubbed her back. Stay strong, mama!  

          We stuck with this rule, too: no eye contact! 

          Sed1: how are things going the last two nights?  Progress?

           

          It's taken him an hour to fall asleep every night we've done it (3 nights so far).  I'm hoping it will be less soon, but I can't complain...at least he's sleeping!  DH is actually taking DS to the doctor today as well.  He has been acting funny other than his sleeping, could be teething, could be ear infection.  But he's been very cranky, won't eat much and won't drink much, and not very many wet diapers.  Just recently it's gotten worse.  So maybe it's been something else all along...poor thing.  At least the Dr will give us a piece of mind if its nothing.

        1. imageChan4dra04:
          imagegracefulruby33:

            imagesedl1lau:
            We tried 3 minutes, then 5, then 10 minute intervals tonight. The crying seemed to get worse when I went in there, but he was asleep after an hour! I'm sold on Ferber!!

            This is approach we also took. Keep with it and I promise it will work. It was also better when we didn't make eye contact, and I didn't talk, just shushed and rubbed her back. Stay strong, mama!  

            We stuck with this rule, too: no eye contact! 

            Sed1: how are things going the last two nights?  Progress?

             

            Oh I was going to add, we tried this for Sunday's nap, and it was just not working.  Tried 2 hours, and still crying.  So I caved because it was just a nap.  He later napped on me for 2 hours Embarrassed

          1. imagesedl1lau:
            imageChan4dra04:
            imagegracefulruby33:

              imagesedl1lau:
              We tried 3 minutes, then 5, then 10 minute intervals tonight. The crying seemed to get worse when I went in there, but he was asleep after an hour! I'm sold on Ferber!!

              This is approach we also took. Keep with it and I promise it will work. It was also better when we didn't make eye contact, and I didn't talk, just shushed and rubbed her back. Stay strong, mama!  

              We stuck with this rule, too: no eye contact! 

              Sed1: how are things going the last two nights?  Progress?

              Oh I was going to add, we tried this for Sunday's nap, and it was just not working.  Tried 2 hours, and still crying.  So I caved because it was just a nap.  He later napped on me for 2 hours Embarrassed

              Poor guy. You're right, it could be something else adding to it. Hope something turns up at the docs.

              We also did the Ferber. Are you increasing the times or sticking with a set amount of timed intervals that you came up with?

              As for the nap, I think I read somewhere that if it takes x many minutes then you might wanna call it quits. I have my own rule, which doesn't need to be applied often at all, but when DD is having her issues - if she turns hysterical then I go in a couple/few times, but if she is just crying I let her go and do not go in her room. She might cry off and on for an hour but you can tell that she's tired and winding down that entire time.  Idk, I guess now that I typed it, it's all about feeling each nap out.  Very rarely does she not take a nap, but lately she's been crying/whining for an hour+ before she takes a two hour nap.  I just feel it out.  Sounds like you did what you could.  Sometimes the nap isn't worth it as long as it's not forming a habit of not taking one.  

              Keep us posted! I always have such an interest in others' sleep training success.  I'm hopeful that DS will get on track again for ya. :) 

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            1. Oh I feel so bad, he had a double ear infection!  Probably caused the off sleeping the whole time! 

               I really appreciation everyone's support of the Feber method.  I posted the same message to the Toddler 12-24 month board, and they all made me feel bad for making him cry.  I also like to hear everyone's stories on sleep training whether it's successful or not!

            2. Hi. As an infant and child sleep consultant I would definitely say its time for sleep training. There are so many approaches to consider but regardless of which one you choose, it's all about consistency and breaking any associations your child has made with sleep that he/she cannot control themselves. Sometimes a sleep consultant is helpful throughout the process via a private consultation and will be with you throughout the process. I have more info on my website about sleep consults if you are interested. Www.tendertransitionsmn.com.
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