terrified of adding a sibling

candlequeen · January 2013

If I post too much, I am sorry! I am getting more and more scared of adding this new baby to the mix. I hate it that I can't get excited about her b/c I know our lives will get that much more stressful. Don't take this the wrong way...I definitely wanted a sibling for DS, but his behavior lately has me thinking what in the world we're going to do when a newborn is added to this. I've tried changing the morning routine like a lot of you suggested and he isn't responding well. I'm just facing the fact that he isn't a morning person! Please tell me things get a little easier with age?! Somedays he is the sweetest kid in the world and other days he's clingy, whiny, and doesn't want to be a "big boy." The other day he told me he was a baby. any advice?

Brewtowngrl · January 2013

I am convinced a lot of women try for their 2nd baby before the first is 2 because if you wait till after 2 you will change your mind:) It is the age. There will be good and bad days. It doesn't matter that there is another on the way. One thing that helped was making sure i did fun things with DS1 while pregnant and especially after.

We really had to talk up being the big brother and got a few books. We also reminded him how special he was that he was the big brother and the baby will also be the little brother.

It is worth it and they will eventually play together and be friends.

candlequeen · January 2013

ha ha! yes it seemed like a good idea at the time. Thanks for your response...I just wish I could feel excited about the baby coming. I mean I AM excited to a certain point, but I'm more nervous.

LouRN09 · January 2013

candlequeen:
ha ha! yes it seemed like a good idea at the time. Thanks for your response...I just wish I could feel excited about the baby coming. I mean I AM excited to a certain point, but I'm more nervous.

This was me exactly. I was excited for a little brother for DS, but honestly had more feelings of anxiety, nervousness, and even guilt. I was scared I was going to turn DS1's life upsidedown! I also had no idea how I was going to survive with 2 little ones. Yes, DS1 still has his moments of being a 2-year old with an attitude, but DS2 is SO awesome and I swear it may have been the best thing we ever did was to give DS1 a baby brother. :-) He loves him so much and is always wanting to give him hugs and kisses, and find us a burp cloth when we need it, help feed him, get his paci, etc. It certainly isnt a walk in the park but everyone will eventually adjust and your new LO will fit right in!

candlequeen · January 2013

thanks Lou. this gives me hope

acaudill75 · January 2013

You should be terrified. You would be delusional if you weren't. I tried to take the approach of I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Otherwise, I would have lost it on more than one occasion. Your LO WIIL adjust, and yes, it will be difficult at first. I am still waiting for it to get easier. I keep saying that the first year is the hardest with all children, so once DD2 is a year, and walking and eating normal people food, it will get so much easier. I will let you know in two months. Just enjoy as much one on one time with LO now while you can, and then keep in mind there will be a time when they won't want you in the room ...

Novem06 · January 2013

DS was always super excited about wanting a little sister even though we didn't even know what we were having (maybe he had intuition?) but I was nervous about the change, loving a new baby as much, DS feeling sad, feeling bad I wasn't super excited, etc. Honestly it's all normal. And the transition has been way easier and smoother than I could have imagined. For us it was way easier to go from one-two then none-one. You will love the second baby just as much. You will still find time for one on one dates with your first. And watching the bond between them is the best!

stgn01 · January 2013

The transition from 0 to 1 was a lot more stressful than 1 to 2. I EBF DS and doing that while DD is running aroung and constantly wanting my attention is hard to do. But we manage. When DH was driving me to the hospital, I was crying asking him if we were doing the right thing for DD. A little too late by that point, but it turned out to be fine.

We have our good days and out bad days, but we're getting there. I don't reget it at all! It's still tough, especially with the sleep deprivation. But it's been great to see how DD wants to shoe her little brother all her toys. It's even more amazing to see DS stare at his older sister and be completely captivated by her. You and your family will be ok, I promise.

AmericanInOz · January 2013

I'm convinced toddlers are little people who can be just like adults in some ways

Dd is NOT a morning person - just like dh

so when I wake her I leave her for a good 20-30 minutes to wake up (until she yells 'Mama I wake up!' If I try to get her out of there too quick she is SO crabby (same with naps)

don't stress - this is just a hard age

I get ya though - we aren't even TTC yet and I worry about that - dd is really clingy too

my friends with 2 say it all works out though

Desmarie13 · January 2013

Dd was the same way. Its tottaly a stage. She turned 3 the month after lo was born. She is great with her little brother. She is super helpful and loves him so much. The key is to really involve the older sibling in the preparations for lo. I also told dd that she had to be a big girlnso she could teach her brother how to be a big boy. She gave up her binky so he could "have"them.(he got hisnownNEWones) Its gets better. The more you involve big sibling now the easier it will be for you when lo gets here. Try and give as much attention now as possible. Good luck.

MarSamWhitney · January 2013

I can completely understand how nervous you would be! I feel this way, and we haven't even TTC yet. Its just feels like "Oh man..nooo way." lol

You will be great, and your DS will adjust! My mom had three girls under the age of five, and im sure it was insanity- but some how people make it work. Eventually your DS will love having a sibling, and think of all the good times ahead.

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