I just don't know what to do anymore....

Ledabe · January 2013

So I while I was pregnant by husband had two heart attacks in which one required emergency open heart. It was hard the whole thing. When our daughter arrrived he turned into a different person. They say personality problems/changes can happen after heart attack esp after open heart. He is abusing alcohol and pills. He wasn't like that before the heart attacks. I know he is nervous/and experiences anxiety- who wouldn't. Now I'm nervous cause I never know what kind of mood he will be in. Last night he got tore up over my niece's situation. She had OD once while pregnant and the hospital called DHR- we agree- but now the baby has just been born and he thinks we should take it in. That I don't agree. He kept on and on then downing me cause he thought I don't care. He started slamming things and stomping around while DD is in bed. I tell him to be quiet and he won't gets in my face hollering things. I broke down and called the police last night I was scared. Now he is really pissed. I. Don't. Know. What. to. do. Sorry for so long. I usually lurk on here and post things time to time. I guess I just needed to get it out. thanks

NotSharknado · January 2013

You and your child are what's important here. He needs help right now. This situation will only get more dangerous. Trust me. Do you have family or friends you can stay with? There's been plenty of people who have had major surgery and didn't come out of it abusing drugs and alcohol. Stop using that as an excuse for him. You did the right thing by calling the police if you felt scared. Guess what? He will never forget that and will have another thing to be angry about. This is not an ideal situation for your daughter and you know this. This is where he needs to make a choice. Get help or you leave. If not for you, do it for your DD. Good luck!

fancefpp · January 2013

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I agree that you should stay with someone if you can.

You definitely need to sit down with him when things aren't heated and tell him he needs help. I'd be as supportive as possible, tell him you get that the last year has been scary and hard, but getting help will allow him to move on from it.

I'd also tell him it's your job to protect DD and his behavior is too scary to be around without reassurance that he is seeking professional support. I'd consider having another person he trusts and loves there for support. Sometimes hearing it from an outsider can help.

Good luck!!

MrsCase1 · January 2013

I agree with prior posters that the safety of you and your child are of the utmost importance.

Your marriage is not over if your husband is willing to seek help for his emotional problems and addiction issues.

You can call 800-799-SAFE and get help and advice from professionals who are trained to assist with such situations. They can share resources with you to help your husband and salvage your marriage.

Your marriage is an example to your daughter on what the standard for normal and healthy are, and you sound like a concerned mom. Trust your motherly and womanly instincts. Please call the number. It is confidential.

Jelliebean1982 · January 2013

I think you sit down with your DH when the baby isn't around and tell him you've noticed some changes in him since the heart surgery. Tell him that you'd like him to talk to his doctor about it and that you'll go with him for support. If you feel threatened in any way or unsafe please go somewhere else with your child while your DH gets the help he needs.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · January 2013

Mrs Case:
Your marriage is an example to your daughter on what the standard for normal and healthy are, and you sound like a concerned mom. Trust your motherly and womanly instincts.

I agree with everything everyone else said, but the above really struck a chord with me.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.