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Question about CO wording/birthdays

HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
in Blended Families

I'm curious about something in the CO.

It currently reads that DH gets SD every other year for her birthday. We are long distance and her birthday is very close to Thanksgiving (which we also get on that same corresponding year), so typically it works out that we already have her while school is out for Thanksgiving. 

This year it doesn't her birthday falls on Monday, school is in session Monday and Tuesday and we would typically pick up on Tuesday after school through the weekend.

She is not in school (just daycare/preschool) so we are trying to figure out if we get her on Monday a.m. and can just keep her overnight since SS will be being picked up on Tuesday afterschool and roll that right into Thanksgiving?

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Re: Question about CO wording/birthdays

  • mom2onemom2one member
    Since the court order doesn't specify, this is something you will have to work out with the child's mom. Typically I just let ex have an extra overnight on the weekend following DS's birthday (that is, if it's not his weekend. if it is, there's no need for extra time).
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member

    We will already have her the weekend after her birthday as part of the Thanksgiving holiday.

    Now this might confuse things more, but I think (technically) since DH is permitted one weekend a month (with 14 days notice) we technically could get them BOTH the weekend PRIOR to her birthday and just keep her through her birthday. I just don't know when the "birthday" part of the CO ends would it be on Tuesday a.m.? AND I think that might hurt feelings since SS IS in school and we would never ask for him to miss school. It would mean we had both kids weekend prior to Turkey Day, but take SS ONLY back to mom on Sunday night.Keeping SD through till Tuesday a.m. but then Tuesday after school getting them BOTH back for Turkey day holidays.

    UGH sorry I don't know how to word that any better.

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  • mom2onemom2one member
    Honestly, I think it would be worse for a child to miss a birthday with a sibling than a parent...
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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  • twister22twister22 member

    How long distance are you?
    I would think it would be super odd to celebrate SD's birthday without SS there. Why don't you take both SK's the weekend before and celebrate SD's birthday then? And then just let BM have the kids Monday/SD's bday. Kids don't really care about the actual day - they just want you to celebrate it.

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  • Jessys_GirlJessys_Girl

    imagemom2one:
    Honestly, I think it would be worse for a child to miss a birthday with a sibling than a parent...

    This.

     I'm thinking:  Take the kids for the weekend prior to T-day (normal weekend) and celebrate SD's b-day then.  take them both home Sunday night.  If you WANT to get SD for the day on Monday, take her to lunch or out shopping or something fun while SS is in school.  Generally a "birthday" in a court order is just a day.  It's a pick up in the morning and drop of that night thing.  So you'd drop SD back off on Monday evening.  Then pick BOTH kids up for t-day time on Tuesday evening.

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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    imageJessys_Girl:

    imagemom2one:
    Honestly, I think it would be worse for a child to miss a birthday with a sibling than a parent...

    This.

     I'm thinking:  Take the kids for the weekend prior to T-day (normal weekend) and celebrate SD's b-day then.  take them both home Sunday night.  If you WANT to get SD for the day on Monday, take her to lunch or out shopping or something fun while SS is in school.  Generally a "birthday" in a court order is just a day.  It's a pick up in the morning and drop of that night thing.  So you'd drop SD back off on Monday evening.  Then pick BOTH kids up for t-day time on Tuesday evening.

    That sounds like a perfect compromise!

    thanks everybody!

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