Familymoon vs Fathers Day

KTdidit · January 2013

I am getting married this June....and I jusy found out my wedding day is the Friday before Father's Day. FH and I had planned on taking a short weekend familymoon to Cleveland, us and DS, coming home Sunday. We would take a long honeymoon just the two of us later in the summer. Am I out of line thinking that our wedding and celebrating our new family is more important than Father's Day? I haven't brought it up to BD yet so I have no idea whatkind of fit he is going to throw.

&babymakes5 · January 2013

You are not wrong for thinking that but he may not be happy depending on your relationship. What does your CO say about Father's Day and is your wedding weekend a normal custody time?

Amanda88 · January 2013

I think you are out of line. It's Father's Day. Would you give up Mother's Day if the roles were reversed? I know I'd be upset if I didn't get to celebrate Mother's Day with my kiddos because of a vacation. You could always celebrate on a weekend that doesn't have conflict. Plus, that alone time right after your wedding could be really nice. My DH and I didn't get that after our wedding, and we wished we had that opportunity.

hopanka · January 2013

Well, from your point of view it may be more important, but it doesnt have to be from his. Check your CO, and also whose weekend it is suppossed to be under regular circumstances. Are you friendly with ex?

Sunday924 · January 2013

It's Father's Day so he should be with his father. I think you are out of line because to me it comes off as you saying your new family is more important then his dads time....I don't think one should be more important than the other.

katie_cj · January 2013

I think you are out of line, especially if he normally gets Father's Day yearly.

I would ask him nicely and see if he'll switch with you, but if he doesn't agree, I would plan a familymoon for another week-end.

cole2144 · January 2013

I think you are out of line. DS going on vacation with your and your new husband does not take priority over spending Father`s Day with dad. How would you feel if BD wanted your son to spend Mother`s Day with him and his new wife? Children should spend Mother`s day with mom and Father`s Day with dad. It`s not like you did not know it was Father`s day.

twister22 · January 2013

Amanda88:
I think you are out of line. It's Father's Day. Would you give up Mother's Day if the roles were reversed? I know I'd be upset if I didn't get to celebrate Mother's Day with my kiddos because of a vacation. You could always celebrate on a weekend that doesn't have conflict. Plus, that alone time right after your wedding could be really nice. My DH and I didn't get that after our wedding, and we wished we had that opportunity.

This.
Honestly, I think it is weird you guys want to go on a "familymoon" - I have never heard of that, even from a BF POV. DH & I had our wedding, went and saw DS in the a.m. (he stayed w/ my parents) and then left for our short & sweet honeymoon. We loved that way had that time.
Also, I really don't think it's fair that you are trying to take Father's Day from BD. You can ask, but don't expect him to say yes unless he really wouldn't care. If the roles were reversed, how would you feel. I know that I would absolutely not give up Mother's Day. Call me crazy, but BD had a baby that was due right around Mother's Day two years ago. I told him I would be fine with DS going to meet his sister at the hospital as the birth would likely occur during my time (he is EOWE), but that I was not giving up Mother's Day - DS could go the day after. And, IMO, I think a birth far trumps a "familymoon"/vacation.

ETA to add: You may have just realized your wedding falls the weekend of Father's day, but honestly, you should have known this. I have created calendars on Microsoft Word that outline when BD's weekends will fall all the way through 2015. I am shocked that you wouldn't look into that sort of thing before planning your wedding. Not to mention Father's Day is always the third Sunday in June. Always.

Ooglybear · January 2013

I agree with PP that you are out of line. And really, Father's Day is the same time every year, so you didn't "just" find out about it.

jenjen930 · January 2013

I have to agree. As a SM I would be mad for my DH if BM tried to take away his father's day. He already misses so much of his daughter's life. Take a weekend by yourself and plan a family trip another weekend.

Ginlyn0 · January 2013

Definitely out of line. In fact, planning your wedding the weekend of Father's Day is just poor planning all around on your behalf. In a BF, you need to be aware of "the schedule" at all times.

J&A2008 · January 2013

gin9874:
Definitely out of line. In fact, planning your wedding the weekend of Father's Day is just poor planning all around on your behalf. In a BF, you need to be aware of "the schedule" at all times.

Yeah, I agree. I was kind of feeling bad for you that everyone was against you, but it's not like you'd plan your wedding for Mother's day weekend and plan your honeymoon to be gone away from your kids over Mother's day without realizing it, right?

awesomenus1341 · January 2013

gin9874:
Definitely out of line. In fact, planning your wedding the weekend of Father's Day is just poor planning all around on your behalf. In a BF, you need to be aware of "the schedule" at all times.

This. Also, why do you not want your wedding weekend to celebrate with just your DH? For our wedding, we planned it on "our" weekend with my SS because he was our ring bearer, and it was important for us to have him at the celebration with us. We had our wedding at our house, and I put him to bed and read him a goodnight story (in my wedding dress(!) in about 5min, and per our routine, minus bath time first). But, DH and I left that night to a hotel and my sister and BIL stayed at our house to watch after SS until we got home the next afternoon. We didn't take a honeymoon for financial reasons, but had we, we would have planned the trip after SS got picked up on Sunday. I understand wanting your son there for your wedding, but your wedding night should be you and your DH. I would be furious for my DH if BM planned her wedding on Father's Day. Knowing DH, he would probably give in and let SS go, but I would be pitching a wild-eyed-hissy-fit on his behalf. SS is only here EOWE, and the only split holidays are Thanksgiving and Christmas, that means if Easter isn't on our weekend, oh well, if Halloween isn't on our weekend, oh well, same for labor day, 4th of July, memorial day, etc. There are already so many sacrifices a NC parent makes, to take another weekend away because of your poor planning is not fair.

Littlejen22 · January 2013

kaholland4:
I am getting married this June....and I jusy found out my wedding day is the Friday before Father's Day. FH and I had planned on taking a short weekend familymoon to Cleveland, us and DS, coming home Sunday. We would take a long honeymoon just the two of us later in the summer.nbsp;Am I out of line thinking that our wedding and celebrating our new family is more important than Father's Day? I haven't brought it up to BD yet so I have no idea whatkind of fit he is going to throw.

Yeah, you are wrong in that thinking. I would want to spend Mother's Day with my kid and would expect a father to feel the same. And honestly, "family moon" is some new made up term I can almost guarantee was not around before the start of The Knot so really, it's just made up. If you want a honeymoon go the two of you and let you kid spend Father's Day with their father. And since Father's Day is fairly easy to guess each year I was married June 19 so I knew it would be the day befor Fathers Day so this is one of those poor planning on your part does not constitute BD changing his plans.

CFjo2010 · January 2013

Sunday924:
It's Father's Day so he should be with his father. I think you are out of line because to me it comes off as you saying your new family is more important then his dads time....I don't think one should be more important than the other.nbsp;

I agree.

Father's Day is always the 3rd Sunday of the month, just like Mother's Day is the 2nd Sunday. Why wouldn't you automatically check the date of Father's Day if planning a wedding in midJune?

DS should be with his father in Father's Day. Would you be willing to give up your Mother's Day so that DS can go on a trip with BD and SM?

lb1212 · January 2013

DH and I took a mini-moon - 4 days after the wedding and took a family-moon after. I think a family-moon is a great idea - a honeymoon is a celebration for the husband and wife and the family-moon a way for everyone to celebrate this new family! You should be excited and your wanting to celebrate is perfectly normal!

However, Father's Day is very important to most dad's. I know DH would be very hurt if BM asked him to "give up" seeing SD so she could go on a vacation - something that could easily be planned another time.

But I gotta ask....how did you not know that your wedding is the Friday before Father's Day? Did you not look at a calendar when picking the date?!?!

andrewsmom12 · January 2013

I'm not intending this to be snarky at all but it is called Fathers Day for a reason. If you are dealing with this sort of entitlement now, I can only imagine how difficult co-parenting will be down the road. The best you can do is ask but if I were your ex, I'd be terribly insulted at the request.

Jessys_Girl · January 2013

Uh, yeah, out of line. Why in heck do you think YOUR new family is more important than your son spending bonding time with his FATHER on FATHER'S DAY?

fellesferie · January 2013

I agree with everyone else.

You goofed on the schedule, so I don't think it's fair at all to ask BD to miss Father's Day with his kiddo.

Unless there are some incredibly persuasive mitigating factors, I would not in a million years consent to miss Mother's Day with my kid because my ex didn't take the holiday into consideration when scheduling his wedding.

Another (small) factor for me would be that this is the first time I've ever even heard the term "familymoon," and I have never known anyone who took a child on what is essentially a honeymoon. Whereas most Americans know exactly when Father's day is and likely do something however small to celebrate it.

jnjmommy0609 · January 2013

I truly wouldn't even bother bringing it up. You can choose any other weekend but that one. Yes of course in your eyes it's more important then Fathers Day. But you wouldn't be the person getting the day taken away.

Phantomgirl · January 2013

Talk to BD, he may say ok if you offer him additional time.

Father's Day is only a hallmark day afterall. So maybe he will be ok to swap weekends with you.

If not, can you come home at lunch time Sunday and drop DS to him? You and new DH could spend the eve alone!!!

BUT if he does throw a fit then you will have to take your weekend away on your actual weekend.

Hope it works out for you!

moonfaerie · January 2013

Yup, I'm with everyone else. Your wedding is only more important to you, and it's rude to imply that it's not important for your kid to see his dad on Father's Day. Also, I don't understand why you'd want to bring a kid along to celebrate a wedding. Take the time, however short, to celebrate with your new spouse. Having a kid already, you know how hard it is to get alone time, so enjoy it while you got it!

HisChamaoleGirl · January 2013

We too got married during DH parenting time and wanted to incorporate SS. What we did was do family oriented trips and activities before the wedding but after the wedding when ss went back to BM DH and I started our honeymoon.

FutureMrsWittig · January 2013

Are you planning to offer him a compensatory day that he chooses? I think the problem wouldn't be missing that specific day (honestly Mother's/Father's Day is a Hallmark holiday anyway). But if you're not prepared to offer him one of your days to spend the whole day with his son, then I'd expect an unholy fit. And he wouldn't be wrong for throwing it.

KTdidit · January 2013

thanks for the responses, to just clear some things up...yes I did look at the parenting schedule before picking our wedding date. I made sure to pick a weekend that DS would be at home, and no I honestly didn't think about Father's Day, or Mother's Day for that matter. Yes, they are important to some people but we don't really celebrate other than having dinner for my Mom. BD didn't even care to have DS on Father's Day last year, so it hasn't ever been a huge deal of a day. For the one person who said I was "entitled" and that I would be the one to make coparenting difficult - that isn't even anywhere close to the truth. I bend over backwards to make sure DS sees his father even when BD doesn't even care to see him. And as for a "familymoon" vs honeymoon - we can't afford to go on a full fleged honeymoon right after the wedding so we will take our "us time" at a later date. We wanted to take an overnight trip to celebrate becoming a family. And yes, if the roles were reversed and BD and his GF happen to ever get married on Mother's Day weekend I would be ok with it. The way I see it, Mother's Day and Father's Day come every year. A wedding is once, exceptions can be made. But thank you again for everyone's responses. Sorry it took me so long to get back on and acknowledge them.

Want a personalized experience?

Familymoon vs Fathers Day

Re: Familymoon vs Fathers Day

Choose Another Board

Search Boards