Preemies

Sadness approaching 1st Birthday??

I'm not sure if this is a very delayed case of PP, but I'm becoming very sad and emotional the closer that I get to DS's 1st Birthday.  I'm really struggling with the fact that my tiny 3lb preemie is growing up so fast, too fast.  I'm so blessed that he is happy, healthy, and growing up just as he should, so I'm not sure why I'm feeling this sadness.  I feel that the further I'm getting from our NICU experience, the more emotional I'm becoming about it.  While we were in the NICU, I know I was driving on auto pilot, and really couldn't internalize what was happening.  It didn't really hit me until driving home from one of our NICU follow-up appts several months after discharge.  Now that I know DS's little personality, smile, etc, I get so sad thinking about the NICU and what could have happened.  (I've also had time to research the statics, blogs, etc.)  It just blows my mind how fast he is growing up.  
Has anyone else experienced something similar??
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Sadness approaching 1st Birthday??

  • Ditto what CR said--mixed emotions.  I don't think that I feel sadness, but I definitely feel some anxiety about her first birthday coming up.  Actually, I feel some anxiety about this Friday, which is when it all began and I got admitted to the hospital. 

    I feel reflective and like I'm definitely going to be writing in my journal about my thoughts.  

    TTC Since July 2008.
    Me: PCOS DH: Low everything (MFI)
    Clomid with TI x 3 2010 BFN
    Clomid+IUI+Ovidrel 2010 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 2011
    9/8/11 Beta #1: 2082!! 9/19/11 Beta#2 34,689!! U/S 9/22/11 HR 127! 11/8/11 HR 150! 12/6/11 HR 136! 12/14/11 HR 139! Born at 26w2d on 2/4/2012! After 83 days in the NICU, Adalyn came home on 4/26/12!
    FET 1 3/2013 BFN
    FET 2 5/2013 BFN
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • For the most part, I was pretty level-headed for the first year or so.  It recently hit me though.  I am pregnant again and walked out of a doctor's appointment with a clean bill of health at 24 weeks (when things went wrong the first time) and cried all the way home.
    *Siggy warning - loss mentioned*
    Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
    High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
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  • Yes! I could have written your post myself. DS is now 15mo but I had a terrible time of memories flooding back around the 11-13mo range. Hugs! I feel better now, btw.
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