Dads & Dads-to-be
How to calm my hormonal pregnant wife
We are currently at week 21 and my wife lately is very easily set off into crying or being upset, usually directed at me. It seems when I try to reason with her about the source of her frustration, anxiety or whatever, it only makes matters worse.
Any recommendations on how to cut this off at the pass and calm her down/soothe her or is it best to just let the emotions flow and ride out the storm?
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Re: How to calm my hormonal pregnant wife
If she's being unreasonable, don't try to reason with her- that'll just make her feel dumb and hormonal and lash out more. Be sympathetic to her feelings and ask her what you can do to help/make it better/whatever. If she's being crazy for no reason, she'll realize it and calm down. If she has a real issue, you'll have better luck hearing what it is if you aren't being condescending.
Also, you don't say what she's taking out on you but try to share your feelings with her. If you are worried about the baby, say so. If you're super excited, say so. Crazy hormonal pregnant women don't like to feel like they are the only ones with feelings.
This cannot be for real!
And if it is, there is no way you can "calm down" your wife. She is pregnant, so all she is is a hormone right now.
My advice would be deal with it. Help out more around the house. Rub her belly and feet and anything else she wants you to rub. Listen to her without talking back. Do everything she wants you to do, with a smile on your face. That is your job now, your only job! That is all that you can do. Everyone one of us went through it, and there is nothing that you can do about it.
Dude, she is 21 weeks pregnant. What did you expect??? This is your time to shine as a husband....Make us proud!!
Don't fight back. You're going to be a punching bag some of the time. Be a man and the bigger person and take it.
Try to be a household superhero. Target doing 75% of the chores. You can't really manage her emotions, but you can make life easier on her.
Dude,
Let the emotions flow and ride out the storm....there is no reason or logic that will calm a pregnant, hormonal lady. They are going through a lot and while they still love you, they cannot control feelings and thoughts in the midst of everything. Do yourself a favor and lay low and be a loving, generous, awesome husband. AND also know that this will only last for 19 more weeks. You'll have a kid so I can't guarantee it gets better, but this will pass.
Calm her? Dude you can't calm a pregnant hormonal woman...you just gotta ride out whatever is happening at that moment. Let her cry it out....say as little as possible (everything you say/do will be used against you) and then move on.
Be as supportive as possible, help her out around the house. Reassure her that you love her...that she is beautiful.
Make a pregnancy ticker
As a typically pre-pregnancy emotional woman I can say that there is no "cutting her off at the pass"
And trying to "reason with her" seems as if it will come off condescending no matter what (pregnant or not - its her emotions, no one but her knows why she's feeling that way)
The only thing I can suggest is to remind her you love her very much, and if she lets you, hug her until she stops crying.
If you are religious, try prayer or meditation with her when she ISN'T already upset.
and remember - NEVER BLAME HER! Don't say things like "oh, you'll look back and realize you were irrational" either. those are both HUUUUGE no-nos. (I'm not implying you've done either... but my Dad used to... and I figured better safe than sorry)
There is no cutting it off at the pass. It isn't in her control. Reason does not apply to pregnancy hormones (not pregnant women, just the hormones) most times.
Do not argue. If she gets mad/upset you say three words, maybe a 4th. Now follow after me: I AM SORRY. (you can throw the word "very" in for major offenses)
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