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February 2013 Moms
WinterBenson
member
I swear they think I'm crazy/overprotective already....
WinterBenson
member
First of all, I'm an RN and I worked on the OBGYN floor for a lot of my time in school. I taught new mothers guidelines and recommendations before I even had a kid. I plan on doing my best to practice what I preach. When I say that, I mean I'm gonna try and breast feed, I'm not using bumper pads, and I'm gonna make an attempt to have her sleep in my room until 6 months of age, which is now the recommendation. I'm not using loose blankets in her crib/bassinet. All of these things together help to reduce SIDS by 80.
When I say this to my mother, mother I law and sister in law act like I'm a crazy person. I really don't think I am but everyone else Seems to think so. My DH has even read the research behind this stuff and he totally agrees with me. Maybe because he has to. Anyone else experiencing this?
When I say this to my mother, mother I law and sister in law act like I'm a crazy person. I really don't think I am but everyone else Seems to think so. My DH has even read the research behind this stuff and he totally agrees with me. Maybe because he has to. Anyone else experiencing this?
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Re: I swear they think I'm crazy/overprotective already....
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
DH and I were eating at a restaurant and admiring a cute baby at the table next to us, who was eating with three adults. The baby picks up a KNIFE and starts chewing on it. DH and I watched as the adults conversed with each other and looked at the baby (with the blade in her mouth) and they went on, business as usual.
I'd say we're on the conservative, rule-following side of parenting. No bumpers, sleeping in the room with us, back sleeping, no blankets. Yep - that's us!
I agree I get crazy looks too. People (mostly family) have been so discouraging when I say I want to breastfeed LO, cloth diaper, not add warranty voiding inserts to his car seat, not send LO to a daycare and make my own (organic) baby food as well as other things I think are best for my baby.
Sometimes it would be so easy to point out their kid always has a diaper rash, has some new illness from day care, has yucky teeth from the constant bottle/paci in their mouth and only likes to eat junk because they don't care what their kid eats. And they think I'm the crazy one? But as much as I think their parenting style sucks it's not my kid and not my business so I don't voice to them my opinions.
My mother acts the same way, but she claims she was in the act of smoking a cigarette when her doctor came in to give her an epidural, so I take it with a grain of salt. When I was born at 8lbs, 8oz, 20 days overdue, the doctor joked it was good she smoked or I might've weighed 15 pounds and stayed in a year.
Honestly, one day far from now I'll probably give my daughter's baby raising plans a side-eye myself. We all think we know best, and so much can change in 30 years...
I think this is normal mom stuff. Just smile and nod but do what you want!
(And the SIL is probably just going along with the moms to fit in, so I'd ignore her too...)
I completly get it. I'm the same way in that I do my research and I tend to go with what the experts say (they did do extensive research....). I am non-moving on all of the issues you brought up (besides the rooming in...and actually I believe the AAP upped their reccomendation to 12 mos rooming in as of last year) Yet my mother, as well as some others, think this is silly and I worry/ read too much.
Right now my mom is really not liking that I weaned my 14 mo old from the bottle at 12 mos (her peds. reccomendation). She did amazing, we had no problems at all weaning her, yet my mom thinks we're depriving her and if I end up bottle feeding the new baby she'll be a mess over it. Dh and I both know what's best for OUR daughter and we simply stand firm.
I look at it this way....bumpers will PROBABLY not kill my child if I use them...they DEFINIETLY won't if I don't use them. To me the decision between a cute frilly crib and my child's safety is a no-brainer. If someone doesn't agree, more power to 'em.
So um, how are you going to keep baby warm? Serious question. I knew I had heard not to use loose blankets with a newborn, and when I mentioned it to my mom she looked at me like I was crazy. Do tell! Do you keep them swaddled? I feel so unprepared.
You use a swaddler or a sleep sack. You can get them at any baby store.
Our two families are acting the same way... they give me the whole "well you two turned out fine!" and roll their eyes at me, or speak to me like I'm being a petulant child. I can tell they believe I'm being over-protective and silly about things, but I think what I ask them to do is within reason.
I tried giving them books for Christmas to "refresh" them on things that have been updated since we were born, but they just said "oh" and quickly moved on. I doubt they've been opened since. I haven't been rude to them or anything, just simply state that some things have changed, and hey, here's the info on that. But they don't seem to care.
And because of this, I'm TERRIFIED to have any of them watch our baby. I'm afraid that something bad will happen because of something they do (or don't do), and it could have all been prevented if they'd just read the book and/or heeded my wishes (even if they don't agree with them). I will of course still let them watch the baby, but that doesn't stop me from being absolutely terrified.