Single Parents

What made you leave?

I have been in a near 4 year "relationship" with my SO and had our DS in August last year.  I know that I have been a moron being with him and can honestly say that I dont think that I have ever been happy with him.  We aren't married and I don't see it ever happening.  There is a past of some physical abuse and the emotional/verbal abuse has started back up.  We have financial ties together through the house we built and items that we have purchased together. What was the final straw that made you realize "it's time for me to go".

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Re: What made you leave?

  • I was about 16 weeks pregnant, working 45 hours a week, and came home to find his unemployed ass passed out drunk on the couch with cigarette butts in an empty beer can on the table. He knew he wasn't supposed to be buying beer with my pay or smoking inside, so I woke him up to ask for an explanation. He *stumbled* to the door and told me that even in that state, he was capable of being responsible for an infant. A week later I found some of my tip money missing. And he hasn't been involved since I moved out.
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  • He left in the middle of our son's 1st birthday party "to work" & I came home and found him asleep. This was the last straw after 6 years of fighting, arguing, not trusting him & feeling like he doesn't put me or our family first, etc.

    We tried to talk through it in counseling, but it didn't go well & when he refused to continue to go we decided to divorce. I filed in December.

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  • LO's father isn't the person I was engaged to.  When I was engaged as it grew closer to my wedding I had thoughts like "I'm supposed to have kids with him?", or "wow, another 5 years of this?".... thoughts like that or anything other than I want to be with him forever are not a good thing. I played them off as nervousness before a wedding. However, after the inviations were mailed out I started feeling trapped. Trapped in something you should never ever feel in a relationship. Once I had that feelings I ended things within a week once I figured out how to leave and were to go. (Both cars were in his name so if i took a car he could report it as theft etc.)
  • I was 2 months pregnant with DS when I finally realized it was time to leave the BF because he made me choose my family/friends or him. He was very controlling and tried to tell me who to hang out with or who I could see. He demanded that I told him everything I did or went too. I felt trapped and didn't want to be in the relationship anymore then he tried saying that I cheated on him and that DS wasn't his.
  • My mom tells me the breaking point with my dad is when he came home drunk was sitting with me on the floor I was a baby/toddler he kept passing out his head kept banging on a coffee table I kept laughing every time he did it. She says she knew she couldn't have me growing up around that.

    30 years later I am so grateful my mom made that decision. And didn't waste any time with it. I have no memories of living with my dad or ever seeing him drunk. My only wish is that he'd just resigned himself from my life completely, as he is little more than a 70 year obligation now. Yeah, I'm a little bitter :
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  • I left when my DD was just about 2 Months . I caught him talking to one of his exes and was extremely hurt. I did try to reconcile but his control issues and the constant issues from his family had me at my wits end.
  • Well I left his house when he told me to "get over it or get out" in reguards to his cheating and making bars drinking drugs and partying a priority and him and his family bullying me for our differences in beliefs. I believed that men should treat women with respect he and his family believed he could just do whatever he damn well pleased and I had to put up with it. I didn't want to and I didn't want our baby to so I got out. I tried to reconcile but after a lack of any effort from his end I gave up on him. I hadn't heads anything from him for a while and he and his friends started harassing me on fb so I blocked them all and started moving on with my life as a single.mommy.
  • When I was pregnant with DS my ex told me that he and his brother had talked, and that they decided I needed to have an abortion. I packed and left that night. 
  •  I left after it had gotten physical for the second time while I was 3 months pregnant. I had put up with his verbal/physical abuse for long enough, but I wasn't going to let my baby go through his abuse. I love this little guy too much to bring him into a world with that pathetic excuse as a father. So I left, and here I am. I have to say that my only regret is not leaving sooner. But I'm still getting over the fact that I'm going to be in this alone. It scares me sometimes and I wonder how I can do it. Then I have a flashback of what it was like with him, and I thank god for giving me the strength to leave.

  • He sexually abused me for almost three years. It took me until last year to finally get the courage to divorce him.
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  • it really makes me sad as to how much I can relate to parts of all these stories .. being accused of cheating .. being verbally abused ..  his frequent nights out drinking .. was always trying to be in control, if things weren't his way it was the highway .. he was constantly lying to me .. and he still lies to everybody about me just to get them to pity him .. he even damaged a wall in his apartment and went as far as telling police that I did it .. 
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  • I made him leave last night. 

    DH and I have been together for almost 6 years, our DD is 4, and we just got married 6 months ago... Now I'm 6 months pregnant. (It was a fun wedding!) Since we have been together, he has always had difficulty holding a job, but never let it go too far between jobs, since he also has a 7 year old to pay child support for.

    Since 2 months before the wedding, he has only worked a job for one month. It was a seasonal job between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that he got bc I applied for him online. When I go on maternity leave, I will not be eligible for any kind of pay. I have been begging for him to try to find anything but he has not tried at all. He is home with DD all day, but does not take care of her. I have to get her breakfast ready before I leave for work, and then I found out he was putting her down for a nap without feeding her lunch. He plays Xbox until 3-4am, then doesn't wake up to take care of her. He also refuses to do absolutely anything around the house. He has started with horrible verbal abuse, calling me a c*nt all the time (mostly when I ask him to do something related to cleaning), and telling me about how everything is my fault. It's my fault the house doesn't stay clean, it's my fault he isn't motivated to find a job.

    I think my pregnancy hormones have given me more balls than usual. I finally decided that I was f*cking sick of worrying about DD all day at work, and sick of coming home every night to a mess. I decided that if I have to act like a single mother and do everything for myself, that I might as well be one. It will be easier for me to not have to clean up after him and deal with him.

    So last night when I got home, I asked him to leave and told him not to come back until he has a job and is ready to be a responsible parent. He left without a fight, and took his xbox instead of clothes, so I highly doubt he will be doing a job hunting any time soon. Right now I'm a little confused about how I feel... I'm not feeling very upset about it right now... but I feel like it's going to hit me soon. I know the worst part if he decides not to come back will be explaining it to our 4 yr old, but we both deserve to be treated better and I know if this holds out, then eventually she will know I did the right thing.

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  • After years of emotional and verbal abuse, I decided it was over when he threw his laptop while DS was crawling around on the floor.  He then kicked me as I was walking out the door while I was holding DS.  Throughout the day he continued to threaten me with beating down the door of where I was staying, bringing a gun, suicide, among other crazy stuff to get me to come back.  It's been a ride I wouldn't want to repeat, but I haven't regretted leaving for one minute and am so glad to finally be divorced.  Best decision I ever made.
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