Doula dilemma

tokenhoser · January 2013

Last time, I hired a doula. I waited a little late, and in the end, hired pretty much the only doula that had space to take me. I liked her, though, and she seemed great. She ended up being out of town (on a one-day trip, on my due date that we didn't really think was a big deal for a FTM, to watch her child in a provincial-level sports tournament), so her backup attended my birth. The back up was great, and we felt like she did a perfect job for us. My hired doula visited us in the hospital and checked on me at home, as per our contract.

But now who do I hire this time? The one I chose, or the one that actually went through birth with me? I'm torn.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

I would choose who you felt more comfortable with, and who had the best bed side manner. IMO I would probably choose the latter...It would kind of irritate me that the first decided to go out of town ON your actual due date. I've never had a doula, so that's just me thinking hypothetically.

tokenhoser · January 2013

To be fair, only 5% of moms deliver on their due date. Probably less FTM than that, even, and her kid has really struggled a lot in a lot of areas. I don't begrudge her the trip at all.

I might make DH choose.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

I guess that's just coming from me who delivered at 37 weeks with my DD. Lol Sometimes if I can't decide between a few things, and wouldn't care if it went either way... I make SO choose. I know we're pretty similar, and he has my best interest at heart. that may be easiest!

AmyRI · January 2013

I would hire the one that actually attended your birth, since you know you like her style. It's a risk you won't like the original one you hired. Is there some reason you really liked the doula you hired, or do you just feel bad not rehiring her since she did nothing wrong?

tokenhoser · January 2013

I think my issue is that I feel like I know the one I hired before - we talked more, we kept in touch on FB. The one that attended did a great job, but I didn't see her outside of that day and I don't really remember her (I had some things going on Wink

).

Celyn · January 2013

After your last post, I'd say go with the one you hired. If you've liked her enough to keep in touch, then she's the right one most likely.

AmyRI · January 2013

Celyn:
After your last post, I'd say go with the one you hired. If you've liked her enough to keep in touch, then she's the right one most likely.

I'll change my vote and agree with this after your last post. If you're comfortable keeping in touch for a couple of years, I bet you'll be comfortable with her in labor.

nyki06 · January 2013

I agree with going with whatever one you feel more comfortable with.

LindseyJW · January 2013

CaraLynn91:
I would choose who you felt more comfortable with, and who had the best bed side manner. IMO I would probably choose the latter...It would kind of irritate me that the first decided to go out of town ON your actual due date. I've never had a doula, so that's just me thinking hypothetically.

usually, in the contract, commitments are outlined. doulas usually agree to be on call for 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after your due date, with exceptions for super important things. before we are doulas, we are mommies, too! i would hope that tokenhoser's doula previously informed her of this commitment.

OP- before you said you'd kept in touch with the one you hired, i would have said go with the one who attended your birth, since she has knowledge that no other doula could have. but it seems like you might have a more personal relationship with the one you hired now. i can see your dilemma!

Doula dilemma

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