People just don't understand...

Hi Ladies.

Let me start off by saying that I happy to have found some support, but sad that we are all here in the first place.

My fiance and I started TTC nr 2 about 4 months ago. I went through hell trying because my cycles were sooo messed up and every single BFN upset me and I couldn't understand what was going on with my body. 

Then in December we stopped trying...as in me not being crazy with dates and scheduled sex and so on, and just enjoyed my surprise birthday weekend away. He proposed to me a few days before my birthday, and it was perfect.

 Two weeks ago I took a HPT at work because AF was 7 days late, but like I said my cycles are so messed up and because I wasn't tracking my fertile days or anything, I wasn't testing or even keeping track of days....

The test was negative at first... but later that day, something told me to look at the test again and there it was, the BFP I want so badly.

The next day I took two more HPT's and one was negative and one positve.

The day after I did the beta HCG. At this point I had already started getting super excited and told my close friends and family (we are sooo ready for baby nr 2).

Things started going all wrong for me when my HCG count was only 21. The nurse told me not to freak out, because I might have JUST conceived, as in 1 week gestation... I had a feeling then, that something is going wrong...

The next day I called my gynea and he told me that its not good. He told me to go for another HCG the next day and if the count didn't double then he is concerned that it might be an ectopic pregnancy. I told him that given my LMP, I should be between 5 and 6 weeks. He didn't sound optimistic at all. This is when I really started worrying...

 My poor fiance was so positive that he told me to take another HPT and he is certain that the line would now be darker because "nothings wrong, dont worry". The test turned out to be barely positive.

 The next morning I went for another beta HCG. While waiting for the results I prayed so hard... but turns out that my HCG count had GONE DOWN to 19. I knew it was over.

 My gynea didnt even do a sonar or anything. I went to his consulting rooms and he was too busy to see me and I was told to go home and rest. 

 That afternoon I started bleeding.... The next day I could see the sac when I went to go and change my pad... (sorry, tmi, but this just BROKE ME) and I have never cried so hard in my life.

 My dr says I had a chemical pregnancy, but I know that I was at least 6 weeks along.

 It still breaks my heart, especially since people can be so ignorant and insensitive. Some of the comments I have heard have made me want to punch someone in the face. 

 Anyway... just thought I would share my story, keen to read all of yours, and see that you have gotten better