TWW over

mwagner25 · January 2013

In case you missed my last post, L and I are new to the TTC area, We were married a year and a half ago. We had our first IUI 1/4 with donor sperm and trigger and have survived our first TWW. I had a beta drawn this morning, but before we even got the results back AF came this afternoon, which is a day early for me. It makes me wonder if we were late on our timing with our first IUI.

I am so ready for a week or two to just not have to think about peeing on sticks or symptoms. We are going to try again right away with another IUI. It should be the end of Jan or very early Feb. We just keep saying that the first time wasn't ment to be.

Any thoughts or ideas on how to get through the next cycle without the roller coaster of emotions is appreciated.

viciouskittie · January 2013

I'm sorry it didn't work out this time, but it seems like you're staying really positive which is great. I can't offer any solutions on getting through the next cycle (other than enjoy all the things you can't when you're pregnant, like booze, cigars and cheese lol) but I'm sending you & DW good vibes!

2moms2twins · January 2013

hmm without the roller coaster of emotion - If you find a way please HELP US ALL.

TTC is just one big mind F***. Its a ride like no other and really pushes and test limits of relationships and self worth. ( ok well for us it did) but its a path that many of us prepare to take so we are at an advantage. I am sorry its is this way and that the first IUI was not successful. keep on keeping on because eventually all of the insanity and chaos and calm will work out.

Just know that its nothing you did and hug yourself and your sig other and carry on.

I know after our TWW and BFN we were disasters and blamed ourselves and each other and it was so unkind and we realizes we need to fix that and so be kind to each other and enjoy and gear up for the next cycle. As sad and disappointed as we were we were always rearing to go again even more so.

Manada · January 2013

2moms2twins:
TTC is just one big mind F***.

SO TRUE.

We had timing "issues" (read: our timing was so poor the first time we gave up before the 2ww even started).... it's so hard to come to terms with, I had no idea how hard the timing was to pin down even if you do everything right....

Good luck. Self care is the name of the game in the TTC process. Every now and then either my partner or I will crack a bit under the stress of it all, but we pull ourselves together, add some extra love, and keep going.

We keep trying to remind ourselves that the TTC process isn't the be all and end all. There is life after assisted reproduction.... it's the light at the end of the tunnel for us.

bundleoluv11 · January 2013

I know the feel we just got the go to do our iui and she have us all the pro and cons and we our scared as hell! But, you all and our family and god we will make it! Lord helps! I have a question have any of you took fertilityblend? If so what you think?

mwagner25 · January 2013

Thanks for all the good vibes and bits of advice. I am sooo looking forward to wine and fish. I didn't think that this would be as challenging emotionally as it has been.

mwagner25 · January 2013

bundleoluv11:
I know the feel we just got the go to do our iui and she have us all the pro and cons and we our scared as hell! But, you all and our family and god we will make it! Lord helps! I have a question have any of you took fertilityblend? If so what you think?

Sorry but I have not heard of fertilityblend. So, I can't offer any advice there. I am a NP so any supplements that aren't FDA approved I tend to stay away from. But my job makes it difficult for me not to be biased.

bundleoluv11 · January 2013

I looked it up on the internet and a lot of women have used it so midwives says its ok. But, what do you recommend? I so far don't need anything as far as fertility drugs. Not yet! But, I do want go myself higher changes of a successful pregnancy.

mhkd042206 · January 2013

The roller coaster ride goes on the entire time. I thought for sure it was possible to jump off once we got pregnant. But nope. You just switch to a different ride. Just remember to take time for yourself. Even a good bubble bath and a big glass of wine can help a bit. Oh. And it's okay to shed a few tears too.

bundleoluv11 · January 2013

Yes I know you suppose to take time for yourself and just relax and also make time for each other . But, trying to have a and getting pregnant is a job!!!

songbird31 · January 2013

sparkles412:
For us, what actually helped (in a weird, odd way) was that we missed my surge the 2nd month and had to take the month off - at first, I was really upset, but then we decided to really enjoy the time not worrying about testing, going out, drinking good wine, etc - and it made me actually excited to try the next month instead of feeling like "ugh, here we go again"

This exact thing happened to us for our second month and it was actually a blessing in disguise for us well (although I left the clinic crying). There's so much build up to that first time, all the preparation, money, consulting, etc. and personally, I took on a lot of pressure that I didn't need to do.The month off made me remember what we were really doing and what it meant for our family.

I'm so sorry that your first time didn't work, but just keep your spirits up, keep taking care of yourself, and keep your lines of communication open with your partner. I was free to talk about my fears, my guilt, etc. with S and I think that really helped us get through the TTC months. I also stayed proactive, meeting with and talking to my RE about our options, potential issues with me, etc. I think she was very respectful of the costs we were paying and our donor vials and that's why we moved to medicated cycles so quickly.

jenheartsmonsters · January 2013

I'm really sorry that the first time didn't work for you. It didn't work for us, either. The roller coaster of emotion is inevitable-- especially for the partner who is actually trying to grow the baby (gotta love hormones). Five IUIs, a miscarriage and d & c, and finally a seemingly healthy and growing fetus really changed my philosophy. I had practiced mindfulness meditation before, but I found I really, really needed it with all the uncertainty. There's a popular Buddhist saying from Jon Kabat-Zinn (also noted psychologist) that you can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf. You might want to check out https://www.basicmindfulness.org/ to learn more.

Good luck to you.

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