So I need some actual advice

mosier92 · January 2013

We still have a little ways to go but these things have been bugging me. And I am sorry for this being long but Id love some advice thatd be helpful(:

Before DH and I got married, his mother told me about them (his mom and dad) splitting up, I was the first person she told (great) First thought was I am going to marry your son and you are telling me instead of your son? then make me promise NOT to tell him. How could she ask that of me? Well I didnt say anything but I felt I had to, so she told me she was going to tell him on his birthday (he has just left for college a month before she told me this. So this ticked me off at her, she had gas and money to go to her brother's house every weekend (it was about an hour away from their house) but she couldn't make a trip that was another 30 minutes away to tell her son. She waits until his birthday... I told him a few days before, of course he was mad at me. Then she tells me how she cheated the WHOLE time she was with her husband (17 years of marriage) and tells me who it was, I told her I didnt wanna hear it, then she "joked" about the rest. She cheated with one of her best friend's husband. She didnt tell her husband when he asked and continues to lie to her son and wants me to do the same. He knows EVERYTHING! Now my concern is for this baby, I am scared that she will tell our children things and ask them not to tell us, I dont want my babies to be taught how to lie or keep things from us like that. Any insight on this?

Manateearmz · January 2013

Have talks with your children about not keeping secrets from their parents.

Nicolendave2012 · January 2013

wow thats crazy. definatly a tuff situatuion. Just make sure you teach your kids right from wrong

[Deleted User] · January 2013

Eh, the baby won't be able to comprehend her BS for several years. You have time to find a way to deal with her. In the mean time, don't spend time alone with her & focus on what you need to do for your family. GL!

mom2pottamus · January 2013

I wouldn't be able to be alone with MIL. I wouldn't worry about her affect on the baby yet, you have a few years to work on your issues with her before what she tells the baby becomes an issue...take the time and do that. Good luck!

footnotegirl · January 2013

Talk with your children about it, and also?

It's time to be honest with her. Straight up, every time she says "and don't tell my son" tell her simply. "I will tell your son. I tell him everything you tell me. We don't have secrets. You don't want him to know, don't tell me." You don't have to be mean or accusatory about it, just straightforward.

Soxgirl07 · January 2013

footnotegirl:
Talk with your children about it, and also?
It's time to be honest with her. Straight up, every time she says "and don't tell my son" tell her simply. "I will tell your son. I tell him everything you tell me. We don't have secrets. You don't want him to know, don't tell me." You don't have to be mean or accusatory about it, just straightforward.

This. Tell her you'll tell him everything and then do it. I'd think she'd eventually stop telling you secrets. MIL tries telling me things she doesn't want DH to know, although nothing that scandalous, she'll even reference it in front of him. He tells her not to bother because I'll just tell him later anyways. I nod my head and she realizes she can't tell me secrets.

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